F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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Scaredmom2019
It came... none of her pants fit anymore. She was irritated but carried on to get ready for brunch. How do you react to this? Ive ordered new leggings and they'll be here tomorrow but who wouldn't feel "bad" if there clothes don't fit? 
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Enn
This is normal and expected. Many of us just ignore and distract. If you give it oxygen it can really get more difficult. These issues with the body dysmorphia are expected but please don’t let it be a significant worry for you.  The goal was weight gain and so the natural consequence is that her old clothes won’t fit. 

You note she was irritated and then she moved on. That is the best outcome for that incident. 
The irritation did not last- that is great!
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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mnmomUSA
It's completely normal for them to feel frustrated about their clothes not fitting.  Don't give it oxygen as Enn said.  What I had to do for quite some time was buy clothes for my D in the next larger size (of the same ones she liked in a smaller size).  Remove the tags (or obscure the size in ones with printed on the clothing tags using a sharpie).  Replace the smaller ones with larger.  My D LIVED in leggings for a long period of time as they are more forgiving.  But, my D added 50 pounds.  No way would the "old" stuff fit.  She went from being a size 00 (and those hung off her) to a size 6/8.  So, quite a few sizes.

I will also say that the only "cure" for this is getting her truly weight restored and keeping her there until her brain fully heals.  Today, my D doesn't give a rats behind what the "size" is in the clothes she buys.  She buys what fits, and has figured out that women's clothing is all over the map in what "size" it says and what it fits.  She works in a bridal salon part time, and was telling me tales of trying to fit brides to be.  "Mom, in bridal salons, a size 6 or 8 is at least a size 14 in bridal wear....you should see these girls freaking out over that."  (Oh, how far she has come!).  It was a long road to get to this point.

The less emphasis on size the better.  It sounds like in the end she handled it very well!
D, age 18, first diagnosed March 20, 2013, RAN, at age 13 Hospitalized 3 weeks for medical stability. FBT at home since.  UCSD Multi-family Intensive June 2015. We've arrived on the other side.  :-)  D at college and doing great!
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MKR
Wow, @Enn, I love the story about bridal gowns and sizes! So funny. Also true for many other clothes shops nowadays. The manufacturers get orders from all over the world. This is a great way out of the AN rigidity, a great way to learn to be flexible. 
Mum's Kitchen

14-y-o "healthy living" led to AN in 2017 and WR at 16. Current muscle dysmorphia.
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ValentinaGermania
It came... none of her pants fit anymore. She was irritated but carried on to get ready for brunch. How do you react to this? Ive ordered new leggings and they'll be here tomorrow but who wouldn't feel "bad" if there clothes don't fit? 


Her clothes do not fit because those clothes were too small. That is the important message. It is normal that kids grow and need bigger clothes. Normally kids are happy to grow and to need a bigger size so normally they do not feel bad about that. They love to buy new clothes. Normally...
You cannot compare that to a healthy adult that clothes do not fit any more. It is good that her clothes do not fit any more. It shows she is not at a risk for dying any more.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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