F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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After 4 ( hellish) months my d is weight restored, 5 feet and 110 lbs. Five pound over her presrestrive weight. Yesterday at doctores office she freacked out a bit after learning she was 110. She looks great and generally weight is well distributed. Friends with kids who had far more severe clinical histories tell me to keep on pushing the 4000 calorie, ( 3 meals and 3 snacks). My d is like, what the hell! I've gotten to where you wanted me, why contnue with this insane program. Firstly she still is not ED thought free. Occasionally hiding food. She has no fear foods. She just keeps saying she is so sick of her lack of autonomy and this incessant feeding. It's hard to decifer if it's ED or is she acutally sick of constantly being stuffed to the gill. I fed her like a demon and she gained over 25 lbs in 3 months. Some friend with daughter with eating disordrers now fully recovered tell me to keep pushing the same calories. Her d is 5 feet 2 and now 135 lbs. She attributes her recovery to the extra weight. Phase 2 is so tricky. I know that early weight resotration is associated with better outcomes but being significantly over target? Is it the extra weight that is healing or possibly the ongoing exposure. I'm not clear when you can start cutting back a bit.To me it makes sence to maybe cut out one snack and continue monitoring closely as they resume some normal activity/exercise. My husband is like you're turning her into a big fatty and of course this is upsetting. Does anyone know of any scientific articles correlating extra weight with improved outcomes? 
My d is in very early stages (wr around May and overshooting a bit since then. she was historically in 50% percentil and is now 75%) so I also wanted to know if I could cut back on some of the addings, mainly canola oil in the smoothies and shakes. I tried and I noticed immediately a shift in mood, nothing like before but there was something, so I got back to full nutrition and she is doing great. Also, I am feeding her the same and she is not putting more weight (besides the normal for her age). I think we are in "brain healing" stage so all the calories are going into that and I want her to have enough. She has no fear foods, eats everything I ask her to, no ED behaviours in general except that she uses dad's T-shirts every day, so I know I have to keep going. Hope this helps
13 yo d started to eat "healthy" September 2018, she had a growth spurt a bit later, followed by tummy bug. She started restricting breakfast and school lunch in January 2019 (that we know). We succesfully refed at home.
I have found inner strenght, patience and compassion that I did not know I had.
Never retreat, never surrender
keep feeding
My d needed 4000+ to gain and get to Wr and now at 2.5 yrs into this still needs 3500-4000 to gain and maintain. My d got to a good percentile and to maintain it she needs this much. She also plays basketball in high school 4 days per week so she needs to fuel it. 
They do need to establish a routine of eating that may seem very different than their friends.... because they ARE different than their friends. 
You say she stills is not free of ED thoughts, she wants to decrease and is occasionally hiding food this to me means she needs more support and good fuel. We found that my d got toe a good percentile and weight and to maintain that percentile she needs 3500-4000 + to keep on that curve. They do tend to settle out on a curve if they are getting good nutrition. I recall that your d is 14, so is mine. 

You have a wise friend telling you to push the same calories. You don't really want her to lose any weight as you just spent all that time and effort getting her there. That is my opinion only of course. 
We are still in stage two, teaching and learning how to eat for herself and activities and I still have a lot of control. 
I think I remember that you have medical background, so I hope that this analogy works: For hypertension once we find the correct dose of medications we keep them at that dose as that is what is working. Once we decrease the dose, the BP can elevate again. That is how I see AN for my kid. That 3500-4000 calories is her "dose". 

I will find you some links about weight and recovery.
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
It is also her state really. Are all ED thoughts and behaviours gone? Can she eat freely and not worry? Does she have regular periods? Is she growing on her own curve? 
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)