F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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cm72
Was there anyone who worked full or part time while beginning the process? If so, how did you do it? 
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cm72
Thanks Ronson. I could easily take time off work i'm sure but there is the financial situation to consider. 
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Enn

So I did work full time after D got out of the hospital. I am self employed so still had some flexibility and I am home everyday when the kids get home. My D did eat well at school, there were a few hiccoughs and I did have to take some time ie three days off. The school did help with some meal supervision but not enough. 
There are two parts of staying home for me, when I reflect back:

1) I should have taken time off for ME. While she was at school I could have slept, cooked and taken better care of me.
BUT:
2) I NEEDED to go to work. It was the only place that I could be ME and in control. At home I did not feel in control at all. It allowed me to feel productive and it is a place I am appreciated. At home, well... you know...

If I had to do it again, and I hope I never have to, I would work part time and use the off days for self care. 
It is a hard decision. It is so individual, there is the financial and emotional part of it. 
Could you take some time off or work part time? Then see how it goes and re-think if needed?

XXX

When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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cm72
As weird as it sounds, I like to work just like you said in your post. I can be in complete control here and it helps get my mind off of things. Right now i'm taking care of the morning time since and get to work after I drop her off of school and then picking her up when school ends. I normally would work 7-4 but am currently doing 7:30-2. Luckily my work is supportive.
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asjma
I work part time and have continued to work but in hindsight I should have taken some time off.  I am actually considering taking the next couple of weeks off in the lead up to our school holidays and pulling our daughter out of school so that we have 4 solid weeks to try and gain some weight.
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OneToughMomma
I’m a teacher and luckily enough my d was discharged a few weeks before the end of a semester. I tried to work, but it was just not possible for us. I ended up taking off the rest of the term, and of course, refeeding during our 7 week break. With support she was able to get back to school with her peers after that time.
D in and out of EDNOS since age 8. dx RAN 2013. WR Aug '14. Graduated FBT June 2015 at 18 yrs old. [thumb]
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Kali
Hi...I worked and it was pretty difficult. I happen to love what I do and it is not just a job to me.

I did take several weeks off when she was critically ill but it quickly became clear that she needed a stronger intervention than we could provide at home. I was not able to get a single lb on her in those two weeks but I was able to stop the weight loss; however that was not good enough. Her suicidality, purging, self harm, exercise compulsion, food refusal and the cognitive symptoms of starvation really required 24 hour a day professional supervision and a strict refeeding regimen, and we were lucky to find an excellent situation for her to receive the treatment she so needed.

My daughter was in a residential treatment center for nearly 3 months where she was weight restored, and then php and iop for another 2.5 months after that. Then I was able to change my schedule to be a little more flexible and supervise meals and she worked with an outpatient team as well. 

I was able to work part time half the week out of the house and make my own hours as long as I met the number of part time hours that we had agreed on at work and got my work done. (17.5 a week on site) then I worked at home the other half of the week. So I could supervise all meals except for 2 lunches and work in between. I had breakfast with her in the morning before I left.  

In the beginning I felt it was really difficult to be able to work because I was so weighted down and grief stricken by the severity of my daughter's illness that I could hardly even get out of bed. But it meant that I had to which in retrospect was probably good. And part of the time I felt that working was excellent therapy for me because it meant I had to think about something other than the eating disorder. It meant that I had less time to focus on my fears for my daughter. 

It is different for everyone and I hope you will find an arrangement that can work for you and your family. If you are able to qualify for family leave perhaps you could look into that and see whether that could help.

warmly,

Kali



Food=Love
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Foodsupport_AUS
This is never an easy decision. I think the more you can dedicate your time to doing this the easier it will tend to be on you in terms of stress. Re-feeding is hard work. Some of us are not in the position to be able to stop work, take time off whilst others are. As a sole parent with no access to income other than through work I had little choice but to keep on working. I had just taken on a huge mortgage when D got ill making stopping work impossible. I did however reduce my working hours dramatically. This did lead to financial difficulty but at least did keep a roof over our heads. Work out where you can change things. The more time you can give yourself to re-feeding the easier you will find it to do the extra shopping, food prep, sit around supervising meals, go to appointments, care for their and your own distress. 
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13. Mostly recovered 10 years later.  Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
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