F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

Join these conversations already in progress:
• Road To Recovery - Stories of Hope
• Events for Parents and Caregivers Around the World
• Free F.E.A.S.T Conference Videos

Visit the F.E.A.S.T website for information and support.

If you need help using the forum please reach out to one of the moderators (listed below), or email us at bronwen@feast-ed.org.

Need to talk with another parent? F.E.A.S.T. parents offer peer support via:

yellowcaty Show full post »
yellowcaty wrote:
D turns 17 tomorrow. Lying in bed having a little (rather big) cry about how we got to be here. Holding her for the first time 17 years ago I would never have imagined that we would have been spending this birthday waiting for a hospital bed. Instead she should have been having her first driving lesson, spending time with friends, having a party, going out for a meal, eating cake... None of these things will happen tomorrow, but we will have her at home.

Same here last January. It was the most horrible day we ever had before IP 5 days later. But I can tell you this year her 18th birthday was very nice. She had done her driving licence in between , she went out for dinner in a restaurant with her friends and we had cake (in fact a buttercream cake). These things will happen next year. Missing one birthday because of a disease is something that happens. Try to have a nearly normal day. It will get better next year.

yellowcaty wrote:
She has come round to the idea and even went for a hair cut this afternoon. This is a really big thing, as she has not been bothered about things like this for a long time. She went for a completely different style and came out saying that she now looks 17.

I think that is a great thing because most ED patients do not want to grow up or get older. And it seems that she wants to look nice and change her life. Maybe that is day one of her better future.

yellowcaty wrote:
I’m going to try my best to make tomorrow special, whilst being careful to not let ED sneak in. She didn’t want any different food, so we are going to stick to her usually meal plan. Let’s hope that her 18th birthday will be one that we can celebrate in style. Yellowcaty

Try to do something special not related to food. There are so many things you can do. My d last year had a lot of problems to get too much presents because she thought she did not deserve them so I holded some presents back and gave her later. She did not want to have any friends around but 2 of them came to our house by surprise and she said later that she enjoyed that. Try not to compare this birthday to others in history. It will be the exeption. If she had the flue you could not celebrate, too. You can do that later when she comes home again. There is nothing to miss.

Birthday AND Easter weekend that is a big thing for ED patients. Try to do a normal weekend. It will get better next year.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

We survived the birthday and Easter Sunday, but as suspected I found out yesterday that she is still managing to purge. She is so quick and silent that she can do it whilst we are outside the bathroom with the door open.

We are still waiting for a bed. Hopefully we may hear something tomorrow once the bank holiday weekend is over. The wait is just so hard. I think we are waiting so long because it was a planned admission. The doctor did say that if there was more weight loss/ signs of deterioration, they would change it to an emergency. This may happen tomorrrow. I am just so tired of it now.

Hi Yellowcaty,

Hoping help will come soon. In the meantime sending you virtual hugs and wishes for strength and hope that things can get better for your daughter.