F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

Join these conversations already in progress:
• Road To Recovery - Stories of Hope
• Events for Parents and Caregivers Around the World
• Free F.E.A.S.T Conference Videos

Visit the F.E.A.S.T website for information and support.

If you need help using the forum please reach out to one of the moderators (listed below), or email us at bronwen@feast-ed.org.

Sign up Latest Topics
 
 
 


Reply
  Author   Comment  
Nicstar4

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 172
Reply with quote  #1 
So, I spoke with my psychologist, she said we were doing older adolescent and young adult treatment, not rapid refeeding. Why not?? Why give her choice when she can’t choose well! She started restricting at aged 14, and emotionally is 14 and sometimes toddler like. Yet she is being treated as an adult. And she has not gained since treatment began in Jan, and now she is losing.
I disagree. I want to refeed and get her weight up to her growth curve as soon as possible! not 18 BMI as our goal!!! She was never 18 BMI.
Anyone done slow weight gain. Seems like it keeps ED alive and strengthening. Ugh! So not what I thought we were doing here.
Damn, looks like on my own with this. Last hope psychiatrist will be FBT focused, and back me.
Thoughts anyone?
scaredmom

Moderator
Registered:
Posts: 1,152
Reply with quote  #2 

I would go with your gut and feed, feed ,feed. You know that is what she needs. I would just nod my head when I disagreed, there was no point in fighting. I just did what I needed. Many here have had worse help than no help.
How do you feel about doing it alone? I used the team to support me and they did listen to me and what I wanted/needed to do with my D and feeding. I think we had a good experience although when I told the peds that I was adding to her meals she said that would "break trust" I then learned I would not tell the peds what I was doing at all and just do it anyway.

To reframe: Is there any good that you get from the team? Can you do this with less of their help? Only you can decide that.

It is so frustrating.
If they cannot get the weight on her, and you can -do it! Is there another team that may be better fit?

I hope there is something here to help.
XXX

Food+ more food+ time + love+ good professional help+ ATDT+ no exercise =healing ---> recovery (---> Life without ED)


__________________
Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
Foodsupport_AUS

Avatar / Picture

Lead Moderator
Registered:
Posts: 3,990
Reply with quote  #3 
I would question why 14 is considered older adolescent or young adult at the best of times. 

FBT where you are firmly in charge  of refeeding is the treatment that has the largest evidence base. It does not have 100% success rate. In fact treatment other treatments, including going the slow route does have an associated recovery rate too. 

If you can get FBT going that would definitely be the way I would go. You mentioned going to Red Leaf Clinic, my understanding is mainly psychologists there but they do have a special interest in doing FBT . I think now that you are better informed about treatments and treatment options it is worth checking with any planned treatment providers to know what treatment they use. 

Westmead Children's also predominantly does FBT as do all of the CAMHS units. It is the private providers who do their own thing in Australia, so worth checking around if that is the route you are going down.

You may like to wade through this review of treatments for Anorexia. It is a fairly detailed review of various treatments. The relevant parts to you of course are those parts that talk about treatment for adolescents/youth.

 
Attached Files
pdf WatsonBulik2013.pdf (228.86 KB, 25 views)


__________________
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.

mimi321

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 529
Reply with quote  #4 
Many have said and I will also attest to the fact that no help is better than bad help. All evidence suggests that the sooner you get her recovered, the better the long-term prognosis. I did it on my own with help from this and the FB agdt forum. Weekly visits to check vitals, height and weight at doctor's office, 38 lbs later and wr, no one doubts me anymore!
__________________
Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. - A. A. Milne
Torie

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 5,512
Reply with quote  #5 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicstar4
So, I spoke with my psychologist, she said we were doing older adolescent and young adult treatment, not rapid refeeding.


Run, run away!

Your d is now 16, right?  Most definitely, with a 16 year old, I would go with what I would call FBT but I guess she chooses to call "rapid refeeding."  

I am among those who found professional "help" that was worse than no help at all.  The best thing that happened was when I found a true ED expert who called d's therapist and directed her to stop all discussion of food/weight/size/calories, etc. with d.  And I just never went back to the nitwit ped who went out of her way to create a problem for us.  I found that I didn't need professional "help" as long as I also didn't have professional hindrance.  I wish it were an option to ask that ED expert to call your psych and direct her to stay the heck out of this.

Ugh.  I'm so sorry.  It's a tough world out there. xx

-Torie


__________________
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
Ellesmum

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 386
Reply with quote  #6 
You are experiencing the same kind of 'help' I am. 

I agree with the others, you know her best and your instincts are there for a reason.

I will argue with my 'experts' until it sinks in, I have read and researched so much around this illness like everyone here that we are experts too with the benefit that we know the child inside out.

As you will know from joining in on the thread I started, the problem I have and others will face is that what the doctor says says often goes as far as the patient is concerned - hence the need for them to be totally onside and not colluding with the ED.

It's maddening and very dangerous.


__________________
Ellesmum
tina72

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 2,373
Reply with quote  #7 
"So, I spoke with my psychologist, she said we were doing older adolescent and young adult treatment, not rapid refeeding. Why not?? Why give her choice when she can’t choose well! She started restricting at aged 14, and emotionally is 14 and sometimes toddler like. Yet she is being treated as an adult. And she has not gained since treatment began in Jan, and now she is losing."

I agree 100% with Torie, take your feet and RUN. That is wasted time and you do not have time. Every months she stays with AN is a victory for AN. If they do not help you to do FBT, do it alone at home. In the end you are the one who needs to refeed her anyway.
Sorry that you did not get more help. Same we have here in Germany. FBT is mentioned in the health system as beste way to treat AN but not available in reality at all.

Tina72

__________________
d off to University now 2 years after diagnose, still doing FBT and relapse prevention 
HopeNZ

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 146
Reply with quote  #8 
Hi Nicstar4

There is nothing stopping you launching into FBT-style treatment on your own.  I think others here have had to go this route without professional guidance, perhaps using the medical people as support for other things like monitoring physical progress etc.

I can recommend a great little book which outlines what FBT is, what the specific stages are, and what the aims are at each stage.  It's short and easy to read or refer to and we have found it enormously helpful, even though we are fortunate to be doing FBT with the support of a trained therapist.

Maria Ganci:  Survive FBT.  Skills Manual for Parents Undertaking Family Based Treatment for Child and Adolescent Anorexia Nervosa.

We can also help!

Warmly
Hope




mimi321

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 529
Reply with quote  #9 
I was one of those folks who did it on my own. I fed her using strategies discussed in this forum and from various books / websites and we checked in with the doctor weekly for vitals plus height/weight check. I found the comments made by physician not helpful either so she agreed that any conversation connected to her illness would take place between her (physician) and me after her exam while my D waited outside with H.
__________________
Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. - A. A. Milne
tina72

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 2,373
Reply with quote  #10 
To add aonther thought:
If your d is 16 now you will not have unlimited time to get her recovered before she gets legally adult and is able to exclude you from any therapy. That is a really serious problem. I was very lucky to get my d into a state where she agreed with everything we did for her before she got 18 and she signed all needed papers then.

__________________
d off to University now 2 years after diagnose, still doing FBT and relapse prevention 
OneToughMomma

Avatar / Picture

Moderator
Registered:
Posts: 1,222
Reply with quote  #11 
After my d's recovery, I was chatting to her about her treatment.  I said that the team we used for the first 6 years was not evidence-based, and that her later team was FBT, backed up by studies.  She was appalled, asking how they could actually practice like that.  Truly I do not know. 

We were lucky enough to be able to fire that first team and start afresh with FBT.  I wish everyone could have the good care that we got at that point.  It's really not fair.

xoOTM



__________________
D in and out of EDNOS since age 8. dx RAN 2013. WR Aug '14. Graduated FBT June 2015 at 18 yrs old. [thumb]
Previous Topic | Next Topic
Print
Reply

Quick Navigation:

Easily create a Forum Website with Website Toolbox.

WTadmin