Since I seem to come up with questions just about every day, I decided to compile them. If anyone wants to address (any) of them, great!
Seekingsunshine, found many rays of hope in the last year of treatment. D 14yr old- restricted since about age 9-10, dx at 13 when I felt she wasn't growing, FBT/maudsley summer 2015, WR Sept 2015, but have to keep chasing moving target. Not ready for eating independence.
1) Is it okay to feed while ED "thinks" it is being appeased?
Here's what I mean by that. D(ED) prefers Pam spray instead of butter to cook pancakes. Today I used Pam, but also put some melted butter in pancakes.She didnt watch meal prep at all. Left Pam out on counter. Is this being sneaky with ED in a bad way, or just appeasing it so she will keep up the proper intake of calories? If she prefers fish over steak in general, is it wrong to offer fish (smothered in something high calorie)... Or she wants a chai latte with reduced fat milk and I throw in HWC?
2.) Sleeping more when growing more?
Recently I've seen her crankier, sleeping more, and more confrontational. Does this sound like growing or just ED behavior? See next question...
3.) I am so confused about mood swings- spewing anger, not logical. Two hours later takes snack without issue and pleasant again.
This one just befuddles me. I guess like in Brave Girl Eating there is a voice and look that appears when she is feeling anxious about losing her ED. (which by the way she refuses to admit she has) She went into a long rant (I should've walked away-why was I even trying to be logical?) left table in tears. Before bed took her 500cal chai latter without so much as a peep.
4.) Better to plan with D or better to just have her EAT in phase 2?
Ugh, this one is HARD. We are supposed to be helping her to learn proper eating. However, one meal will be satisfactory, but the next day or meal suddenly back to a tiny portion or insufficient snack. She hasn't lost any weight, only gained and grew in past several months. If we gave her even 2 inches of wiggle room I fear she would be back in underweightsville.
5.) When you "bump up calories" during growth spurt, does D/ED know this?
This one I am curious about. My D is almost 14, never started her period, so we have at least another year or two of growing ahead. When she has a spurt, should I tell her we need to up intake? Or just do it on the sly. I want success in the feeding, but fear that once she begins independent eating she will have NO CLUE how many calories are really needed since I hide so many with HWC,Canola,etc...
6.) Does this make sense: When given more independence/self feeding, seems first happy and grateful, then increase in the anger/ED behaviors.
Sort of piggybacking question 4
7.) Me-weight gain, meds, therapy and plate cleaning myself!
This is more of a comment than question. I find that after meal prep, I eat leftovers even though I do not need those extra calories!! It has become a habit since we started our family weight gain (ie. refeeding D) ha The wellbutrin I am on seems to be helping me not wallow in sadness as much. Also see a therapist weekly who counsels me in the area of parenting an ED child, along with helping me with my own food/body issues.
8.) Is eyeballing okay until next WI? When to weigh at home?
D goes to an ED specialist at a childrens hospital about monthly or so for her weight/height/body check ups. There are sometimes 6 weeks between visits. So far no losses in weight, but I am wondering if we should start home weighs? She does not know her weight since the initial WR, and I don't want this to be another anxiety for her. Just curious of your thoughts. Thanks so much!!