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sj66 Show full post »
floating
sj66

Sorry you are in this situation

My daughter is same age and 6 weeks ago same weight
Her obs were ok too

But I was not willing to risk further deterioration and she was placed under the MHA
She was assessed by an authorized officer unannounced in my home with our GP 
Initially for 72 hour assessment then 3 month section followed

She also mentioned leaving home at one stage but no way............she would have died as was not gaining just losing weight and would of been unable to keep herself safe..........

Your D cannot go to university too ill..I have no idea how she is EVEN managing school, my D has not been for 2 years
This can all go suddenly very bad, not saying this to upset you, just the reality of ED

I would ask your GP to contact a mental health officer to access your child and place her under the MHA if she is unwilling to be in outpatient/inpatient treatment
This is very hard I know believe me and without people on here advising me to do this and supporting me through this I probably would never of had the courage

Letting her hit rock bottom is too dangerous and your D will not suddenly think "I will see GP now as feel unwell" this just does not happen

I know it has been a long, difficult journey for you and D and at time you just feel you cannot do it anymore..........and I feel this way many times........but YOU CAN do this
You have more leverage than you think,,,,,you can phone university and prevent her starting and defer for a year......
Tell your D you will not allow ED to further harm her and will not standby and allow her not to get help

ED will me MAD but your D who is still in there will be pleased as she must be very scared
Staying with her friend is just escaping from the biggest threat to the ED.............YOU....... the mum who loves her

I hope you get the help and support needed to fight this horrid monster
My heart goes out to you
you have the strength to push once more
Will be thinking of you
hug xx




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sj66
floating wrote:
sj66

Sorry you are in this situation

My daughter is same age and 6 weeks ago same weight
Her obs were ok too

But I was not willing to risk further deterioration and she was placed under the MHA
She was assessed by an authorized officer unannounced in my home with our GP 
Initially for 72 hour assessment then 3 month section followed

She also mentioned leaving home at one stage but no way............she would have died as was not gaining just losing weight and would of been unable to keep herself safe..........

Your D cannot go to university too ill..I have no idea how she is EVEN managing school, my D has not been for 2 years
This can all go suddenly very bad, not saying this to upset you, just the reality of ED

I would ask your GP to contact a mental health officer to access your child and place her under the MHA if she is unwilling to be in outpatient/inpatient treatment
This is very hard I know believe me and without people on here advising me to do this and supporting me through this I probably would never of had the courage

Letting her hit rock bottom is too dangerous and your D will not suddenly think "I will see GP now as feel unwell" this just does not happen

I know it has been a long, difficult journey for you and D and at time you just feel you cannot do it anymore..........and I feel this way many times........but YOU CAN do this
You have more leverage than you think,,,,,you can phone university and prevent her starting and defer for a year......
Tell your D you will not allow ED to further harm her and will not standby and allow her not to get help

ED will me MAD but your D who is still in there will be pleased as she must be very scared
Staying with her friend is just escaping from the biggest threat to the ED.............YOU....... the mum who loves her

I hope you get the help and support needed to fight this horrid monster
My heart goes out to you
you have the strength to push once more
Will be thinking of you
hug xx




Had no idea that was an option, thank you!! How long will it take for the MH officer's visit to be arranged? I definitely need this done asap before d takes further steps towards moving out.

I don't know how she is doing school either but somehow her grades are still very high and she has a place at the university of Cambridge for next year. Clearly, she will not be going if she doesn't sit her exams but that's the least of my concerns.

How is your d now? Surely a 3 month section isn't long enough? I don't think my d would be able to restore her weight in that time and would start losing again as soon as released.
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melstevUK
sj66,

Don't think about three months time.  Just keep thinking about now.  Please ring your GP and ask for help with the practicalities  of getting your d put under a section.  Don't accept being told that she has to come in to the surgery first.  Just keep saying how ill she is, medically at risk, and for help in getting her into treatment.

It's very common for incredibly underweight anorexic patients to keep studying and being successful - but there comes a point when they can no longer focus. 

Her university place can be deferred for a year if necessary. 

Believe you can and you're halfway there.
Theodore Roosevelt.
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floating
sj66

Ask for D to be assessed under MHA.......they came to my home in 6 hours, I think they must come within 24 hours
Do not warn D just no point as she may flee or cause huge anxiety

As melstev said do not worry about 3 month section just here and now

Exams and college can wait or she can sit them in hospital

My daughter spent first 3 weeks on meal plan but no gain so is currently being NG and bolus fed and gaining....she has no choice under MHA as cannot refuse NG

We are currently awaiting a specialised bed which is a fight but like your child mine would also lose the weight gained once discharged

You can do this........university would last all of a week with pressure and illness so would only be setting her up for failure........when better she has her whole life to get educated

Best of luck and do not take no for an answer......will be on record you are extremely worried xxx


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Playball40
I wish I knew the answer or could give you great advice.  My daughter is much younger.  However, I saw my parents go through something similar when my addicted sister refused rehab at 18.  I do not know how to navigate the system and it usually doesn't work anyway.  I also know you're daughter is not physically in a position to make a rational health decision for herself......so maybe you could appeal to her sense of empathy (guilt her!!)  I know it sounds underhanded and manipulative, but sometimes we need to fight fire with fire.  Appeal to the part of the brain that still functions well for her.
Caroline
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melstevUK
sj66,

I had a quick look online and it appears that you can phone the local mental health crisis team and request an assessment.  They should respond to your concern.  Don't ask for advice, just ask for an assessment asap, and explain that your d is likely to be moving out within the next week and that you need it done before she leaves.
Given that she was treated for an as an adolescent, it should technically be easier to get their agreement to come out to her.  Also, if they are reluctant, tell them that anorexia nervosa has the highest mortality rate out of any psychiatric illness and that your d is now seriously underweight and medically compromised.
If they still fail to act, ask them how they will feel about taking responsibility for her death - which you will hold them responsible for if anything happens to her.

Sometimes you have to stand your ground.  Please do this.  The procedures are in place for a reason.
Believe you can and you're halfway there.
Theodore Roosevelt.
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sj66
floating wrote:
sj66

Ask for D to be assessed under MHA.......they came to my home in 6 hours, I think they must come within 24 hours
Do not warn D just no point as she may flee or cause huge anxiety

As melstev said do not worry about 3 month section just here and now

Exams and college can wait or she can sit them in hospital

My daughter spent first 3 weeks on meal plan but no gain so is currently being NG and bolus fed and gaining....she has no choice under MHA as cannot refuse NG

We are currently awaiting a specialised bed which is a fight but like your child mine would also lose the weight gained once discharged

You can do this........university would last all of a week with pressure and illness so would only be setting her up for failure........when better she has her whole life to get educated

Best of luck and do not take no for an answer......will be on record you are extremely worried xxx

Can I ask what happened at the assessment? Did they weigh your d and do physical checks, or did they just talk to her? I think it would be hard to get my d onto a pair of scales voluntarily (if not impossible) and she can come across as very rational when talking to her. Did they take your d away straight after the assessment? I imagine not, and I'm concerned that d would do a runner. Also, what if d were to lick herself in a room/refuse to see the MH officer? Sorry for all the questions. You are being very kind and helpful.
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melstevUK
sj66,

I remember a time when I accompanied my d to a hospital appointment and I thought d would never get on the scales. I left her with a mental health nurse who succeeded in getting her weighed.

You have no idea of the outcome or how an assessment will go - which causes anxiety -but right now try and stay in the present with achieving one step at a time.  The first step is to phone and request an assessment and see what happens.

Alternatively, have you spoken to d and friend about their arrangements and getting your d in to seeing a doctor?  Just keep trying to make things happen on all fronts. 
Believe you can and you're halfway there.
Theodore Roosevelt.
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floating
sj66 wrote:
Can I ask what happened at the assessment? Did they weigh your d and do physical checks, or did they just talk to her? I think it would be hard to get my d onto a pair of scales voluntarily (if not impossible) and she can come across as very rational when talking to her. Did they take your d away straight after the assessment? I imagine not, and I'm concerned that d would do a runner. Also, what if d were to lick herself in a room/refuse to see the MH officer? Sorry for all the questions. You are being very kind and helpful.


Hi there

My D had a weigh in 2 days prior and weighed 38.8kg......but I knew this was incorrect and her psychiatrist refused to believe me or MHA

So Officer mental health and GP called out 6 hours later, no warning
All previous obs fine but the officer did not weigh in, no checks just kindly told her she was taking her to the hospital and she has no choice/not optional

She could go immediately in a taxi and she would follow or come with her
I was concerned I would have to wait for 24 hours for her to be collected but this did not happen

D thought that she was voluntary and went mad when on arriving at the hospital was placed under MHA. She said but I came willing but made no difference

My D ran upstairs, begged on knees, pleaded.....was unpleasant and very upsetting but I reminded myself constantly a monster was trying to kill her and everyone was being firm because they wanted to save her from further harm

They do not need to tell your D that you were in anyway involved...let the officer do the work not you

You will never regret it..........please believe this...being under the MHA does not affect your future relationship

I hope your case runs smoothly

As Melstev said put the onus on professional. Tell GP and other previous team members that if you dies or becomes seriously ill you will blame them (she will be fine x) but just say this. Say you are extremely concerned as she cannot make good decisions to keep herself safe, is escaping to live at friends to avoid treatment.........etc etc

By the way my D weight of 38.8kg was incorrect as she was only 34.5kg she had waterloaded 4kg!!!! and your D may be doing same unfortunately

Act before she leaves and follow your instinct, if you believe her BMI is only 12 then this is dangerous as having no health checks. 
All my D obs, blood pressure etc are fine but she has been in a wheelchair for last 6 weeks, no exercise. yet your child is walking around etc
Phone ever professional a few times a day GP etc and be a stuck record

Will be thinking of you and sending you strength xxx


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