F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

Join these conversations already in progress:
• Road To Recovery - Stories of Hope
• Events for Parents and Caregivers Around the World
• Free F.E.A.S.T Conference Videos

Visit the F.E.A.S.T website for information and support.

If you need help using the forum please reach out to one of the moderators (listed below), or email us at bronwen@feast-ed.org.

sunny6
What do you do when an activity your child once enjoyed and has talked about doing off and on during the year, becomes a trigger for the anxiety?  We noticed that when they do the activity, there is increased talk about food and meal plans.  Do we stop the activity or do you have them complete it and encourage them to work through their emotions?

Thanks
Quote
ValentinaGermania
It is hard to answer that because I have no idea what activity you could mean.
If it is something to do with modeling, dancing, ballet, something body-related, then I would stop that for some time.
The big question is: is it something your kid wants to do or is it something ED wants to do?
If it is something your kid wants to do I would think about going through it.
If it is something ED wants to do then I would stop hit.
Hard to say with so little information 🙂.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Quote
Gofixgo
My 15 yo D was diagnosed with AN in 10/18 which morphed into AN with binge restrict after a few months.  Due to the accompanying severe depression and anxiety, the activities she used to love and excel at were no longer enjoyable to her.  On top of that, she no longer connected with any of her friends.  She loved her sport for many years before any ED symptoms started.  It was always more social for her than about exercise.  She left school in the spring for residential and is now in PHP and seems to be doing well.  She has been WR for over 4 months and we finally found an anti-depressant that seems to be helping.  After a few weeks of being home - slowly slowly - she is reconnecting with old friends.  But she does not want to play her sport again.  And she switched schools. We are hoping that with time, she might come back to her sport and those team and coach friendships, but after our mistake of applying pressure to “pick up life where she left it” we are going to have to wait and see whether she comes to that decision herself.  I’m terrified of relapse and don’t want any part of a decision that puts her under too much pressure right now.  Good luck to you with your journey.  It took me almost a year for me to become more patient with this process.  My husband is still very impatient and angry that she threw so many opportunities away (sport scholarships and top school).  I’m just grateful to have my daughter physically healthy, not suicidal, no longer angry/ugly and showing small signs of progress.  This really is the worst disease.  My heart goes out to all families.    
Quote
kazi67
Our d journey very similar to your gofixgo 
although we did not put the pressure on d to continue dance she did that herself 

once admitted to hospital all dance stopped
for over a year

sunny6 IMO I would stop your d sport until she gets her anxieties as eating sorted out properly

My d has suffered so much these past few years it is not worth it
it is very hard when their friendship circles are so connected to their sport but honestly health is much more important 

obviously you decide what to do and what is best for your situation 
in your shoes I would say get onto  it early, ASAP,  I wish we did (we tried but didn’t really realise what was happening) just thought it was a “phase”??, just anxiety, It’s all so confusing at the start when we don’t know what is taking over them 

If possible I would take your d to a specialised ED service and get her assessed 
I also wish we did this in the beginning 
also I’m not sure how old your d is but if she is under 18, early intervention is best once they are over 18, trust me it is doable but very difficult 

agree 100 percent  gofixgo this is really the worst illness!!
x
Quote

        

WTadmin