F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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Chames Show full post »
Enn
I have a few questions.
I see she is 15  is she on meds?
Do you have old weight data on her? If you know what percentile she was in the past that would be minimum for her now. We did not have weight charts since 5 years old, so I keep pushing her weight up and up. She is 10 kg more than the first WR they set. Once my d’s Weight was higher and over time her brain did get better.  It is about state not weight . have you seen that video? Once the weight gets up and stays up the brain can heal.  Many need a much higher weight than the professional deem correct. Having said that many kids have other mental health issues that need treatment on top of getting weight up. My d , I feel has underlying anxiety and is on meds. Others have used with good results, CBT, DBT and others.
Just throwing that out and not sure if that helps at all.
XXX
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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Chames
She's on fluoxetine and quetiapine. She has depression and anxiety with a history of self harm and suicide attempts. I could get all her weights from our GP. she actually was always above the average in height and weight. She's actually 4 kgs away from what she was pre anorexia when she was considered 'overweight' but at the time she was 20 cm shorter than now. Other parents and advocates have mentioned sometimes they need to be over their 'target weight'.  We were supposed to have a meeting with the team on Monday but it didn't work out cause of everything that happened with her not eating. Thanks for the advice
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ValentinaGermania
Reducing the meal plan in that state it really dangerous. They need a high amount of food for a long time and it is totally unrealistic that you see a weight gain of 1,5 kg more than once. The metabolism increases in refeeding several times. We had weight gain, weight loss and maintaining on exactly the same intake in 3 weeks in a row.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Ellesmum
How worrying, rapid weight gain soon tails off anyway.  I can’t believe they’ve reduced her plan.   These people will keep your child sick and you’re being let down badly here. 
Ellesmum
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kazi67
My d seemed to loose her mind on more than one occasion but seemed even worse recently talking nonsense, crying, SH, saying life makes no sense to her

I was at my wits end as she had only just been discharged from her second IP admittance and thought she’s never going to get better 

I found we had to ensure she was taking her meds at the same time each day, and as some days she hadn’t taken them at all 
once we got this  under control she seemed to improve 
is you d taking her meds on time? If not maybe looking at this could help

What we found we had to do was just keep pushing through and keeping up eating 3 meals 3 snacks and I would also encourage you to keep up treatment 
your d won’t be WR as such as she is 15 and will continue to grow into her 20’s
it’s so hard and it will get better it just takes time  lots of time 

try to take time for yourself, I know that seems hard/impossible but even if it’s talking to a councillor,  (I found friends just don’t understand) although I had to find an ED specialised councillor, this has helped me a lot
i too felt I couldn’t do it anymore, after a few years it gets very tiring and can get you down 
try to seperate your d from the ED
your d is still in there and needs you even if she doesn’t show it now
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Wdbarton
Sending a virtual hug. I know exactly how you feel because I am currently feeling the same way. We have been doing FBT since September, but it is not working. We wanted to try a day program, but the doctors we work with say it’s not enough. They now want us to send her to a residential center half a country away. She is 15. I’m scared, angry and confused. Prayers to you and your family.  
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Chames
We did the day program after residential failed...twice. she had just turned 14 at the time and I cried and cried when she was there. Luckily it was a 40 min drive so i would visit her every chance I got  (visiting hours were Mon wed fri 6-8pm and weekend 10-8pm). It was hard but had to be done....sending you hugs toI ❤❤
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Chames
She takes meds I'm time every day and I make sure she does as meds are locked away from her. Looking into different options cause we're far from recovered as far as I'm concerned
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Foodsupport_AUS
Quote:
 She's actually 4 kgs away from what she was pre anorexia when she was considered 'overweight' but at the time she was 20 cm shorter than now. Other parents and advocates have mentioned sometimes they need to be over their 'target weight'. 


This is the great damage of weight stigma. If she is 4kg less than her highest previous weight, and she is 20cm taller she is a long way from weight restored. She needs to gain much more than another 4kg. She may or may not need to get to her previous weight percentile, but she will absolutely need to be significantly above her previous highest weight. 

If no one has been setting a target weight, it needs to be very carefully discussed with paediatricians who have a lot of experience with eating disorders. If you haven't already I would recommend reading both Julie O'Toole's discussion on weight restoration and watching Rebecka Peebles video where this is discussed. This needs to be carefully managed to stop damage being done by weight phobic treatment provider's. Your D's health depends on it. 
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13. Initially weight restored 2012. Relapse and continuously edging towards recovery. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
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ValentinaGermania
Wdbarton wrote:
Sending a virtual hug. I know exactly how you feel because I am currently feeling the same way. We have been doing FBT since September, but it is not working. We wanted to try a day program, but the doctors we work with say it’s not enough. They now want us to send her to a residential center half a country away. She is 15. I’m scared, angry and confused. Prayers to you and your family.  


Why do you think FBT is not working in your case? Can we help you to check if maybe the team made mistakes? It is very common to set too low target weights for example or to tell the parents to back off in a much to early state. Bad decisions of the professionals very often keep patients in a sick state and delay recovery that way...
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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sammspiess
She isn’t weight restored, it has been scientifically proven once true weight restoration occurs the brain is able to rewrite the neural pathways created by anorexia and create new ones, I’ve seen it time and time again patients thinking they are weight restored stopping gaining weight then relapse occurs more often then not. It’s going to be hard but you need to get her to gain weight. But you have to do it because it will be worth it I’ve seen first hand that with true weight restoration the thoughts will go aswell. People go through quasi recovery which is what happened with my d and I thought everything was ok, she relapsed of course but was staying a stableish weight and eating semi normally for a few months then like a switch the anorexia was back. Not until I basically force fed her and took everything from her but the clothes on her back I was able to get her to put some weight on and even in a week I see her mood improving and she’s gone from “I want this illness to kill me” to “this is going to be hard but I will get better) and she is trying you need to get through the tough weight gain first but remind your daughter that she may feel terrible about herself now when she eats but if she continues to eat consistently the thoughts will go away and she will be like she was pre Ed and not caring about her meals
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