F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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Pyohaesoo
my d has been in recovery for close to 5 months now, and is weight restored according to a chart that plots her minimum weight looking at pre Ed weight. She is 17 this year. She was maintaining at 1700+ calories for a while but suddenly started to gain weight again. We reduced her calories to around 1500  calories as we are unsure what to do due to her no longer visiting the Doctors. However, she still continued to gain weight. Should I increase her calories back to 1700?
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deenl
Hi Pyohaesoo,

The first thing to say is that it is perfectly normal for your daughter to gain over and above the weight she was before the eating disorder. It is a protective mechanism the body uses to protect health so the weight gain may not be any problem at all.

But I can sense tha tyou are a bit perplexed.. I wonder if you could share some more information that could allow us to help you.

What is the procedure for weighing her? Is she weighed at the doctors or at home? Does she weigh herself and tell you the figure? Or do you weigh her? Has she had a growth spurt in the time sine April? Is she weighed in clothes or underwear? Is she weighed at the same time of day and on the same day of the week?  Does she get weighed on the same weighing scales each time?

Just thinking aloud to see how we can help.

Warm wishes,

D

With a 
2015 12yo son restricting but no body image issues, no fat phobia; lost weight IP! Oct 2015 home, stable but no progress. Medical hosp to kick start recovery Feb 2016. Slowly and cautiously gaining weight at home and seeing signs of our real kid.

May 2017 Hovering around WR. Mood great, mostly. Building up hour by hour at school after 18 months at home. Summer 2017 Happy, first trip away in years, food variety, begin socialising. Sept 2017, back to school FT first time in 2 years. [thumb] 2018 growing so fast hard to keep pace with weight
  • Swedish proverb: Love me when I least deserve it because that's when I need it most.
  • We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence Recovery, then, is not an act but a habit. Aristotle.
  • If the plan doesn't work, change the plan but never the goal.
  • We cannot control the wind but we can direct the sail.
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debra18
Also is she supervised for all meals? How do you know how many calories she is eating?
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Ellesmum
A girl of her age needs between 1800 and 2400 calories a day regardless of eating disorders,  am I misunderstanding something? It seems you’ve put her on a diet, am I misreading?
Ellesmum
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scaredmom
You state she is at her minimum weight as compared to pre ED.
She likely needs to gain more. If she is only into this for 5 months she does need ongoing specialist care still, I would think.
Is there something you are concerned about with respect to the weight gain. I think it would be a good thing for her to keep gaining. Just want to understand your concerns better. 
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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kazi67
Hi
as others asked who weighs your d?
is she no longer being checked by GP?
just a word of caution from me, as at around the same time into “recovering” 6 months in,  when we thought our d “state” was great was  WR and thought she was “recovered”

In hindsight this Is when we found out how sneaky the AN/ED can be

we at this time stopped seeing the GP and physcologist as d claimed “she was better and it didn’t help”

we since  discovered my d was putting weights into her shoes and had tricked us all

she then had a massive relapse lost all her weight and has had 2 years of hell in and out of hospital 

my warning is please look for loopholes and DON’T trust the AN (as we learnt the hard way)

and it just  seems strange to me that your d us still gaining if not eating more

i could be wrong possibly my d had a very cunning strain of AN idk?

my d is doing very well now, (it has been no way an easy road though) but in hindsight we never should of stopped her being “checked” by GP etc, she now currently sees a specialised ED physcologist weekly and participated in group therapy as well as sees a mentor weekly 
she is working, socialising and enjoying life 
AN had taken everything from her to get to this point though
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tina72
Pyohaesoo wrote:
is weight restored according to a chart that plots her minimum weight looking at pre Ed weight. She is 17 this year.


At age 17 she is still growing and developing a female body and cannot be WR at all and being WR to a minimum weight is NOT WR at all. My personal opinion. My d is 19, near 20 now and still gaining slowly and on a good weight now. No ED begaviour any more.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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