F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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Pyohaesoo Show full post »
It seems as if she is doing well. I note a few things, that she lost weight trying it out on her own, so you need to be in charge for a
long time to keep the weight up. The fact that your are getting the weight up albeit slowly  is good. If she is currently cooperating that bodes well overall I would think and that you should be in charge of nutrition during hockey season. It would be too hard for her to manage her food and school and hockey. The concern I have about telling her how much weight she needs is that  she may think that is the max amount of weight she will need and that may not be the case. I would expect  her caloric needs will skyrocket with hockey and you need a plan in place that if she loses weight during hockey then she may not be able to play until that weight and then some as a buffer is achieved. These kids seem to lose weight so easily. It may be hard to keep up. At 16 I don’t think it is a matter of getting her weight up and maintaining, it may be getting it up and up and up. I am having a hard time keep up with normal growth of a 14 year old who is not that active with soccer practice 1 hour per week and games one hour every two weeks. I know if I told my d she had to gain ten pounds, once she got there I worry she would work hard to stay there and I would have trouble getting more into her. 
Every child and their ED is unique so I say go with your gut and see what happens. Have an alternate plan just in case things don’t go smoothly. Plan for the worst and hope for the best. 
Sending my best
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
I agree with scaredmom. By giving a fixed amount you are feeding in to the anxiety and ultimately making it harder for you all. You know she needs to gain all the weight she lost, and some more. The big unknown is the some more. If you are in charge, you are responsible for making sure that you are feeding her enough to help her gain the weight she needs and then maintaining it. You can base her playing or not entirely on her ability to comply with this, you don't need an artificial number. If she is able to comply then after the season with ongoing gain she may be in the position to try a little more independence again. 
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13. Initially weight restored 2012. Relapse and continuously edging towards recovery. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
If she has friends outside the hockey team and could spend her freetime with something that is not calory burning I would go for that.
At her age most important thing is get her WR to a very good weight (this means in most cases more than the professionals expect) and to get rid of all ED behaviour and have her in best state ever before she can refuse treatment at age 18. We got my d WR 4 months before her 18th birthday and it was just in time to see brain recovery start 2 months before and she was compliant with all treatment then. It was very risky.

Why do you think that hockey is so important for her? Health comes first.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.