F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

Join these conversations already in progress:
• Road To Recovery - Stories of Hope
• Events for Parents and Caregivers Around the World
• Free F.E.A.S.T Conference Videos

Visit the F.E.A.S.T website for information and support.

If you need help using the forum please reach out to one of the moderators (listed below), or email us at bronwen@feast-ed.org.

Lovingavocados
So D started treatment last week and was put on a 1200-1500 meal plan to start. We’ve had a few bad days but she’s put in an effort. 

Her weight has gone up 4.3 lbs in less than 5 days though, and I was wondering if it is normal to be gaining that fast on so little. Of course I’m glad, but I’ve read where it says that most patients need 2000+ to gain a single pound a week. Is this normal for her to have gained that much is just a few days? 
Quote
scaredmom

Hello Lovingavocados,
I welcome you the forum and sorry you needed to find us. I do hope you get the information and support you need to help your D.
I know the calorie amount is set a bit low at this time to ensure can eat and they will likely increase the amounts. 
4.3 pounds may be an increase in water weight and likely not true weight gain, I would think. It takes awhile (weeks) to get your stride with good caloric intake and weight gain. Now, who weighed her? ***Could she have hidden weights on her body or water loaded prior to the weighing? (drinking a lot of water and holding her urine prior to the weighing will falsely increase weight and "trick" the weighers).*** this is a big one so I highlighted it. 4.3 pounds is a lot and almost a bit too good to be true, to be honest. 

It would be best to weigh naked in a gown. Some girls hide weight and batteries in their underwear as well as their private parts. Also if wearing a bra or other clothes, look for weights etc in pockets, hoodies. etc...

I would like to ask a few questions if you don't mind:

1: where are you located? Others from your geographic area could chime in about treatment centres.
2: Do you have a specialized ED team?
3: How old is she?
4: What is she struggling with?
5: what are you struggling with?
6: Do you feel you have adequate support?
7: are there other children?
8: Is there purging? hiding or food?
9: Is there exercise compulsion or standing all the time?

I know I have asked you so many questions and if you feel you do not wish to answer them that is fine too. It would help us to know more information so that we can help you, that is why I asked.😊 
We love questions, please ask all that you have. 
Welcome again,
XXX

When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
Quote
Lovingavocados
Thanks so much for this. She’s weighed naked, so no chance of manipulation there. If it’s water weight, should we expect it to go down before going up more?

As for the questions, we’re located in the southern US. We are seeing a nutritionist and therapist currently. D is 15 and diagnosed with anorexia. I’m struggling to get her to let go of calories, etc. and really need some more support (I’m a single mom). No other children and no exercise compulsions/hiding food that I’m aware of. 
Quote
Mamaroo
Thanks so much for this. She’s weighed naked, so no chance of manipulation there. If it’s water weight, should we expect it to go down before going up more?

I was also thinking of water weight. I don't think the weight would go down, but the rate of increase of her weight would be lower, typically 1 lb a week. 

As for the questions, we’re located in the southern US. We are seeing a nutritionist and therapist currently. D is 15 and diagnosed with anorexia. I’m struggling to get her to let go of calories, etc. and really need some more support (I’m a single mom). No other children and no exercise compulsions/hiding food that I’m aware of. 

I used to be a big calorie counter and here is what I've learned: The calories on a packet / internet is at best mostly a guide. So many things go into determining the calorie amount of food that it is more of an art than a science. Even if you are 100% sure of the calories, the body takes what it need depending on metabolism, level of insulin and other digestive functions. No 2 people who eat the same thing, will absorb the same amount of calories. The body will adjust its metabolism depending on the amount of food coming in. My ED d still has a high metabolism and eats way more than her non ED sister. So the best way to get her to let go, is to tell her that her body will adjust to it. And don't try to explain any more and she would only become fixated on it. When she asks about calories, tell her just to trust you, over and over until she hears your voice in her head as soon as a calorie question pops up.

This is a long race, remember to take care of yourself. Sending you lots of hugs 🤗🤗🤗🤗
D became obsessed with exercise at age 9 and started eating 'healthy' at age 9.5. Restricting couple of months later. IP for 2 weeks at age 10. Slowly refed for months on Ensures alone, followed by swap over with food at a snails pace. WR after a year at age 11 in March 2017. View my recipes on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKLW6A6sDO3ZDq8npNm8_ww
Quote
Foodsupport_AUS
Welcome to the forum. Weight gain early on is very unpredictable, but in the medium to long term she will need a lot more to gain the weight she needs. 

Sudden changes can be due to dehydration prior, starting to lay down glycogen stores, water retention due to previous purging/use of laxatives, drinking prior to weighing, full bladder, constipation.

Really there is no point in trying to think it through too much, the trick is to keep on increasing the quantity of intake because ultimately what is going to happen at that intake is a loss rather than any gain in weight. 
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
Quote
tina72
Thanks so much for this. She’s weighed naked, so no chance of manipulation there. If it’s water weight, should we expect it to go down before going up more?


Hi and a very warm welcome from Germany! I am so sorry that you have to be with us here.

My two thoughts about your question:
1) It is possible that is is water that goes into the body now as she is drinking enough. My d refused to drink water the days before she went IP and was dryed out. She got an infusion there and was asked to drink more than 1,5 l a day and she gained because of that water in the body in the first 1-2 weeks but that was not "real" weight gain, it was only water.
2) It is possible that she is water loading before weighings. Does she know before when she will be weighed? Is she weighed blind or open?
Many kids drink up to 1 l water before weighings and that is + 1 kg but only in the bladder and out with the next visit to the toilet... They know a lot of tricks...

If it is 1) you will see the weight going down again when they do not increase calory intake. 1200-1500 is not enough for constant weight gain.
If it is 2) you need to stop that. Weighings without announciation, water access limited before. Send her to the toilet before weighings.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Quote
tina72
I’m struggling to get her to let go of calories, etc. and really need some more support (I’m a single mom). No other children and no exercise compulsions/hiding food that I’m aware of. 


She can not let go of calorie counting so that is why it is needed that you take over. You are in charge for all meals and snacks and her job is to eat what you serve. It is hard to fight that through in the first weeks but we are all here to help you. You are not alone. We have all been in your shoes or still are and can help you with ideas what to cook and what to do.
Do you have a meal plan? Is she already eating 3 meals and 3 snacks? It is important to feed her regularly and to keep the blood sugar level constant.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Quote

        

WTadmin