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monkeymum

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Reply with quote  #1 
A friend has expressed concern about her daughters eating. There is nothing major - simply at this stage a worry that she may not be eating enough but no evidence as such of a deliberate attempt to restrict or purge. Her daughter is 12 and has had problems with anxiety. I wondered what others views were on what to say or do at an early stage? I of course emphasised just getting her to eat enough - but what do you think about somehow weighing her so that there is a baseline against which any drops In weight could be measured? Any thoughts? My daughter thankfully is now well and happy with no anorexia as far as we are able to tell (although ever watchful!) - would do anything to help my friend avoid the hell that is anorexia.
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Mum to 15yr old daughter diagnosed with Anorexia in July 2014. Weight restored in Jan 2015 and 'in recovery' (whatever that means!) 'Tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes' Anne of Green Gables

toothfairy

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Reply with quote  #2 
Hi There,
First I would send her this 
http://www.feedyourinstinct.com.au/ 

Also, I would advise her immediately to add butter and cream to all food that she can....And supervise meals to see whats going on..
Best Wishes
TF

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Food is the medicine. Recovery is possible.
monkeymum

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Reply with quote  #3 
Great website! I’d not seen the befobre. Thanks for recommending.
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Mum to 15yr old daughter diagnosed with Anorexia in July 2014. Weight restored in Jan 2015 and 'in recovery' (whatever that means!) 'Tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes' Anne of Green Gables

EDAction

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Reply with quote  #4 
Does your friend have historical weight/height information for her D that she could plot on a growth chart?  If so, she could see where her D's growth curve falls.  The next time her D has a doctor appt (annual physical? flu shot? etc) she could be weighed/measured without a fuss.

I would pay attention to D's intake.  But the fact that your friend's "spidey sense" is tingling probably means that she has already been doing this.

Has friend talked with D about what she's noticed?  What does D say?  How does she react?

You mentioned that friend's D has some issues with anxiety.  Does D see a doctor or therapist regarding anxiety?  If so, friend could mention her concerns to this professional.

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DD diagnosed with anorexia at 14; FBT at home with the help of psychologist and medical dr; 3+ years later and doing well (knock on wood)
atdt31_US

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Reply with quote  #5 
I like the idea of getting a baseline IF she has not had recent doctor visits or other weight to refer to back to.  I would try to do it on the sly though -- like if they have a pet, drum up a reason the pet needs to be weighed (kid holds pet for weight; kid puts pet down and gets kid-only weight and then do the math to get pet's weight) or do similar with an item like a suitcase or something else you can think of a reason to weigh.  That won't work for routine weighing but if you just want one baseline and then to monitor without causing her anxiety about why a weight is needed, this might be a way to do it.  
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Mom of either pre-diagnosis or non-ed underweight 12 yoa (as of March 2018) kid here to learn how to achieve weight gain.  BMI steadily in the mid 12's for nearly her entire life.  Born 2006. UPDATE:  April 2018 diagnosed ARFID, based solely on weight being less than 75% of Ideal Body Weight.  Mildly picky, but mostly the problem is a volume/early satiety issue, along with abdominal discomfort and chronic constipation, all present since birth. FWIW ED-D is a fraternal twin and we have no other kids.
tina72

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Reply with quote  #6 
Great idea, atdt31_US, I am still embarassed after over 8 months in here how wonderful ideas you all have!
Tina72
deenl

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Posts: 989
Reply with quote  #7 
Hi monkeymum,

I have had similar concerns about my ED son's younger brother and I am taking a pro-active preventative stance. Of course, I will never know if I prevented YoungBro getting an ED because, although he may have warning signs, he may not have just the right genes combined with just the right circumstances to trigger ED but I am not taking any chances. So I weigh him regularly and feed him well but all without stress and fuss. I now have made monthly weighing and height a routine for all kids, very matter of fact part of our lives.

Here are two very interesting blog posts that informed my position.

From our own Let's FEAST blog 

From UNCexchanges on negative energy

I also love the Feed your Instinct site that toothfairy posted.

Having been through the last almost 3 years with ED son, I am all for an excess of caution for children in possible early stages.

Best of luck to your friend

D

__________________
2015 12yo son restricting but no body image issues, no fat phobia; lost weight IP! Oct 2015 home, stable but no progress. Medical hosp to kick start recovery Feb 2016. Slowly and cautiously gaining weight at home and seeing signs of our real kid.

May 2017 Hovering around WR. Mood great, mostly. Building up hour by hour at school after 18 months at home. Summer 2017 Happy, first trip away in years, tons of variety in food, stepping back into social life. Sept 2017, back to school full time for the first time in 2 years. Happy and relaxed, just usual non ED hassles. 

  • Swedish proverb: Love me when I least deserve it because that's when I need it most.
  • We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence Recovery, then, is not an act but a habit. Aristotle.
  • If the plan doesn't work, change the plan but never the goal. (but don't give up on the plan too soon, maybe it just needs a tweak or a bit more time and determination [wink] )
  • We cannot control the wind but we can direct the sail.
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