F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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pjdj
Hi all,

We have been on this path two years ago when my daughter who was 13 was first diagnosed. She was 5feet 3inches then and weights 85lbs. I got her out of the hospital (4 months at various hospitals) at 97lbs  and then brought her all the way up to 130lbs at home. She was on Lexapro, 10 mg then. 

We made the mistake of taking her off Lexapro for a few months and the result was catastrophic. Her symptoms came back. We have been struggling for the last 7 months with this. She began restricting slowly, became agitated, exercised too much. When her weight dropped to 101.5lbs,  we admitted her to RWJ in New Jersey. She stayed there for 3 weeks, signed herself out of there against medical advice as she is 15, came up to 105lbs and is home for the last 5 days but no changes at all. She has extreme OCD and constantly goes up and down, creates her own routines of bringing one thing down at a time before every meal, and sleeps at 4 or 5 am. If we don't wake her up at 10:30 or 11, the breakfast goes out for a toss. We are all living on the edge. 
Sending her back maybe an option but she doesn't last there either. We somehow can't enforce any rules or boundaries. How do we do this?
For example: When she goes up and down and we tell her not to: she screams and yells and does it even more to spite us. If we continue to pester her, she misses a meal.
If we tell her not to take out food, she takes out a bite more and throws and this continues until we stop telling her.
Nothing we say or do matters to her. NOTHING. 
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teecee

Hello from the north of England. It sounds as though ED is very much in control. Have you tried LSUYE? We stopped everything....other than sitting on the sofa, watching Netflix and eating. My life revolved around buying and cooking food. She wasn’t allowed to move off the sofa or use her smart phone/go anywhere until that meal was completed. She was 15/16 at the time and I’m not saying it was easy as it wasn’t but we needed to do that to gain back control. 

Wheb we got through refeeding we then had to adapt our approach to one of coaching and encouraging and enduring the relapses to help her become independent as she was motivated to ‘get better.’ Her getting better was staying skinny but being happy but we all know this isn’t recovery and constant persistence and vigilance and challenging kept us on the path long enough for her brain to heal. 

It sounds as though your D was May be never truly WR and therefore unable to deal with feeding herself. This is where taking complete control may help. If you are not able to do this at home then hospital care may be what’s needed at this stage? 

It’s draining dealing with the ED tantrums as it’s almost trance like stubbornness which feels like it will never end. It will however getting the fats in to her (even without her knowing) is whet will make a difference. 

It’s not normal for 15 year olds to be making their own meals....this is the mantra we would say to our D. Even now at 18 I still make the evening meal. 

I hope you are able to get some new ideas from others to help you. X

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pjdj
Thank you for your response and encouragement. The problem is she is not at all compliant. She was fine eating at the hospital but came out and is restricting again. Nothing we say stops her from exercising. She just doesn't listen - only does it more. 
She also says, that we make it harder for her by asking her to stop, which by the way means, she has to start exercising again. 
My husband and I have no control over her. I tried very calmly today to ask her to eat breakfast but she jumped up and down, threw herself on the ground, exercised even more, and yet did not eat breakfast. She took very little lunch at 2pm. In between she will eat a banana and yogurt and some dinner. 
We will keep trying but I think we need to go back to the hospital.
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teecee

Pjdj 
the question is what helped her to eat in hospital? Was it the thought of staying there? If you required her to eat and she refused does she fear going back? I suppose what I’m saying is what is her motivation? I found that once I knew my Ds motivation it made it easier to use this to remind her of why she must eat. ED is never compliant and therefore we have to be more challenging and throw it curveballs so that it’s left second guessing  

Breaking the OCD rituals around AN behaviour is very hard but has to be done to recover. What happens if you physically stop her moving up and down for example? When my D has horrendous ‘meltdowns’ I followed through and called the ambulance/attended A&E (which I knew she really didn’t want). She knew this would be the consequence. 

I understand your dilemma but if the firm, assertive, consistent, persistent requirements are not met and she will comply in hospital then may be this is the next step? Whatever you choose I hope you get success. 

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Enn

@pjdj,

I am so sorry things are not going well. I do think that taking her back may be helpful. If she does go back, getting a good plan for the behaviours you are dealing with will be very important. If you need help with stopping exercise, let us know. Many of us have dealt with. My d stood all the time and we had to incentivize her. We used soccer practice once per week to get her to sit in 30 min increments. When she got to 2 hr per day to get one hour of soccer per week with added food on that day then she was able to go to practice. It took us about a week to get into that routine and about 4 months to really kick it to the curb. 

As for asking her to do anything you want, I don't think she can, it is ED. 
I hope that we can help you through this patch. Keep hope. Is she back on meds? Please keep us updated. I am thinking about you.
🌺 

When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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Foodsupport_AUS
It sounds as though things are very chaotic in your house at the moment and that perhaps the Lexapro was helping her OCD behaviours. What did you notice emerging first as she became more unwell?

As to how to move on from here trying to get some order into the chaos is what you are trying to do. It sounds like when she was inpatient they managed to get some weight on, how were they managing the  OCD behaviours? How were they managing her eating?
In an ideal world the way forward is likely to be replicating the same things that they were doing when she was inpatient. Clear rules and boundaries - given separate to meals. Clear behavioural guidelines. Consequences for not following those rules. 
It is likely that she signed herself out because she felt distress and having to do the things which were required, but at the same time it is likely that she needs to feel that distress to get better. When she yells that she feels worse, I am sure she does, but it does not mean you are doing the wrong thing. 

She needs to hear the new rules and boundaries separate to her eating, doing behaviours that are of concern. Perhaps allow for some calm without interfering for half a day while you come up with a plan. 

If you can't do this at home then it may be she does need a higher level of care. Thinking of you. 
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13. Initially weight restored 2012. Relapse and continuously edging towards recovery. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
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pjdj
She was eating well in the hospital but with the intention of getting out. She doesn't believe she has ED. At the family meeting (via phone, due to COVID), she made us say in front of the doctors that she doesn't have ED (she had called us previously and threatened us with not eating and scratching herself if we didn't). 
She finally came around to accepting that she at least doesn't have the psychological aspect of ED.
We don't think we have the wherewithal to stop her from exercising. She is too strong that way. Maybe, we will consider calling an ambulance some time.

I do need a lot of help with exercise. She stands almost 12 hours a day, maybe more as she sleeps maybe 4-5 hours. She is on Remeron or Mirtazapine, 15mg for the last two weeks but we are not seeing any effects. The hospital stopped Lexapro as it wasn't working on her anymore. To remind you, Lexapro worked amazingly well until we stopped it in August of 2019 and the symptoms came back around October. She refused to restart the meds but finally relented and started in December. The meds didn't work, however. 
In the hospital, her OCD behaviors were still going on. She was caught exercising many times. She refused to comply with their rules other than eating.
The incentive of attending a sport or doing something else does not work with her as she says, "nothing is conditional. I will do what I want. Eating what I want are my human rights, etc."

We have a pediatrician appointment today so let's see what happens. Every appointment is a pain. She can't sit so for every appointment she misses a meal as she has to sit in the car to go there and back. 
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teecee

So sorry you feel this way. So her motivation is actually not going to hospital. So requiring her to eat keeps her from hospital if she complies at home. 

the exercise compulsion is obviously very strong. Others have managed this too to varying success. It would possibly be helpful for you to look at KLBs posts as they managed (and still do) their sons extreme exercise compulsion. You may get some useful advice on what they do. 

If you feel hospital is the only way I would push for that to keep her safe. Xx

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Enn

pjdj, 
I am so so sorry. You d's ED is really strong. Now what you need to know is that you cannot "talk" it out of her and you cannot ask her to eat. You cannot let your d tell you how it is going to go. YOU and the rest of the family need to make it stop where it is and to move forward. I found I had to change how I spoke with d and had to have very firm expectations for her. If there is self harm, ensure she is safe and that there are no sharps, meds, poisons, ropes or high windows and you need to watch her 24/7. You cannot lie to the team. Please don't listen to ED. Ed lies even if you do what ED says ED will do what ED wants and that will be to take your d further into the abyss. 

You may need to call the ambulance with her behaviours. You need to be with her all the time to ensure the exercise stops. Sleep with her. Give a short walk once per day ONLY if she eats what you plate. She will jump up and she will run. Keep the doors locked and be with her 24 hr 7. Once some kids gain weight  the compulsion to exercise or stand decreases. We had the standing all the time. I will find the thread. I think going for long drives like an hour at time may be useful as she cannot stand in the car. Lock the back seat windows and doors and make sure there is a strong adult with her. And no objects in the car that she can throw. 
The weight has to go on quickly. If it cannot be done at home, it has to be done IP or residential. 
Do you have a team on the ground that is specialised in ED?

When she talks just say "hmm, ok" but do what you have to do. It is ED and only ED talking do not buy into it. It is not rational what she says is it? She has to eat how can she say she does not have to? That irrational rational talk is ED pure and simple. 
So from what you say they were not able to get her to stop exercising?! while IP?? There should have been someone with her 24 hr per day to ensure she did not. 

With any appoinments take her meal in the car and have her eat it in front of them or in the car. That is a good rule to follow. There should not be even one meal lost. The nutrition is first and foremost, even if you have to wake her up to eat or feed at 2 am.  Some kids will eat well in front of strangers or friends. My D wanted to appear normal and so in the first month after discharge from the hospital, actually went to a birthday party (long story) but she ate the cake. The girl's mom knew and watched her for me and said she actually ate a large piece of the cake. She did not like to look different in front of others. 

I really feel for you at this time. How do we help to fortify you so that you can lean into this and feel more empowered, my friend? 

Thinking of you and hope the appointment today went better.

When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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Enn
This is what we did for the standing. 
Your d's issues sounds more involved than what we had, but I hope there is something that may help a bit. 
https://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post/trying-to-get-her-to-sit-8528651?pid=1295863304
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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Kali

Hi Pjdj,

Others have given you great advice. I have a question though

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When her weight dropped to 101.5lbs,  we admitted her to RWJ in New Jersey. She stayed there for 3 weeks, signed herself out of there against medical advice

I am also in NJ. But, as far as I know, a 15 year old cannot sign themselves out of medical treatment AMA here if the legal guardian or parent does not agree. My understanding has always been that until the age of 18, the parent or guardian in NJ has the legal authority to make decisions regarding healthcare on behalf of the minor. I had to sign the paperwork to sign my 17 year old daughter into treatment and she was not responsible for that until she turned 18. This is important to clarify in case your daughter tries to refuse treatment moving forward. And from her behavior it sounds as though she may need to go back if she will not eat. I'm sorry you are having such a very difficult time.

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She was eating well in the hospital but with the intention of getting out. She doesn't believe she has ED. At the family meeting (via phone, due to COVID), she made us say in front of the doctors that she doesn't have ED (she had called us previously and threatened us with not eating and scratching herself if we didn't). 

I'm wondering if you can phone the dr. who this happened with privately—not when your daughter is there, and explain what your daughter had threatened and describe what is going on now? She may be suffering from anasognosia and unable to recognize that she has an eating disorder.

I also noticed that NAMI NJ is having a zoom family and friends program on June 9 from 7:30-8:30. If you have not been to a NAMI event before, it is an organization which supports parents with free support programs for all mental illnesses, not just OCD and ED. Because it was local, they were able to recommend local resources and help and I found the support of the other parents very helpful as well in learning to approach behavioral issues at home. NAMI believes that mental illnesses are biological brain disorders and there is no parent blame, just support. 

https://www.nami.org/Support-Education/NAMI-Programs/NAMI-Family-Friends/Details?programListingId=a2u1Q000000xujoQAA

Also, pjdj, not sure if you have signed up for the Feast of Knowledge this coming weekend, but it might be beneficial to listen to the presentations by the experts. If you are not able to attend in real time, the ticket gives you the opportunity to access the talks at your convenience later on.

Sending strength,
Kali


Food=Love
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Enn

@pjdj,
Just reaching  out to you. I really hope that things are better. 

Sending a hot beverage ☕️ and a hug to you.

When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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pjdj
Thank you, everyone, for being there!

My D is possibly one of the worst ED cases. She has extreme OCD and doesn't listen. Her pediatrician appointment yielded a weight loss of 5lbs in 5 days, can you believe that? She was home for just a week and so much weight loss!
 So we called an ambulance yesterday to take her back. We had phoned earlier and they told us they will keep her in ER overnight and transfer her to EDU in the morning. Nothing of that sort happened. We unnecessarily spent hours there, and then in the morning today dropped her back in the hospital. 
I will research anosognosia, thank you for enlightening me about it. 

As for signing out AMA, yes, both Princeton and RWJ have that rule at 15. 

My husband just came back from his first visit and she was livid at him and cursed for telling her on the phone earlier to follow all the rules. He just left her stuff and came right back. So what we are wondering is how have some of us handled these situations? How long does this behavior continue and if there are strategies other than to leave; to deal with it?

Thank you for the warm hug and a hot cup of beverage. 
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Enn

Anosognosia;   https://www.verywellmind.com/anosognosia-and-anorexia-3573545
She is so sick she does not know how sick she is. She cannot he rational she cannot listen and comply, she just can’t. 
She needs to eat and get up a lot then it will take months for her brain to heal. And if they need other treatment modalities for her other issues then they can work on them when she gains weight back. Some have noticed that with weight gain the OCD got better some need more help with it though, and of course you know your d’s past medical hx best and what the issues are.
As for the anger oh yes this is expected. D would L not talk to me only her dad.
i found when I visited or called and she would talk to me it was best not to discuss ED, as she would really shut down. I tried to keep it light. Hard though. I brought her flowers and lotions and hair stuff and really I just sat there silently  for a lot of the visits. 

While she is away prepare and read for when she gets home.
i also learned from the team how
to feed her and how to be just a wall. She threw the insults at me I had to just absorb them. 

Gosh it is hard hard hard and it really sucks. She is where she needs to be I hope they can get a good handle on her and move her forward. 

 

 

When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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Foodsupport_AUS
Unfortunately it is common for there to be rapid weight loss on discharge. If they have been gaining weight inpatient their metabolism is faster, so weight comes off very quickly initially. It is the reason they need to be eating at least as much after discharge as they were whilst inpatient. 

This rapid loss and weight cycling I believe is even worse for their mental health. Her illness means that she cannot see how unwell she is. I would be looking at present as to what avenues you have to make sure she stays in treatment. Being firm that she stays is likely to make her ED angry but it is what she needs right now. 

In terms of dealing with the anger i found just being calm and not caught up in her anger was helpful. At the same time I would do small things for my D to show her I cared. Sometimes that just meant letting her know that I would stay outside, but I was there if she was ready. I brought small gifts/trinkets. Offered to keep her company etc.. Sometimes it is rejected but her ED will be telling her that she is not worthy of your affection. 
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13. Initially weight restored 2012. Relapse and continuously edging towards recovery. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
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EASL
PjDj:

First - a virtual hug, what you are living through is so difficult and you have done nothing to deserve it and all of us empathise and sympathise with you.

Second - I have two "superpowers" that helped me when I realised I had them. 1) You are the boss - take a strong stance, decide with your husband how each day is going to run - be the general of your household and then just do it. As mentioned above - you don't ask, you're not rude just authoritative and you also are "protected" by a mother's forcefield - whatever your D says or does is not at you or about you - its the demon speaking - so ignore it. You make a schedule and stick to it, there can be rewards built in - but only if the schedule is completely stuck to - she really has NO say. The consequence of not following it are as listed above, return to A&E, private IP care (if available), no phone, no friends, etc. If she hates having you with her every minute of every day - then incent her to change that - follow YOUR schedule.

Now, some potentially really good news, in my D's case, she remember so little of her life when she was in the throes of the ED (I did not know that at the time) that even if you feel horrible, mean, too strict (choose your adjective) she will very likely not remember it and/or not see it the same. So now you have the power to do number 1 from above with the security that even if you're feeling mean and terrible - she very likely won't remember it. 

You can do this and she will one day (maybe a long time away) thank you. You know in your heart you'll do anything for her - so be the bad-a$$ meanie that she needs. 

Good luck. Take it day by day - don't worry about tomorrow - do your best today, then start over the next day. YOU CAN DO IT!
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MKR
Great decisive post @EASL!  👍

We all need to be reminded of our strength.
Mum's Kitchen

14-y-o "healthy living" led to AN in 2017 and WR at 16. Current muscle dysmorphia.
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pjdj
EASL wrote:
PjDj:

First - a virtual hug, what you are living through is so difficult and you have done nothing to deserve it and all of us empathise and sympathise with you.

Second - I have two "superpowers" that helped me when I realised I had them. 1) You are the boss - take a strong stance, decide with your husband how each day is going to run - be the general of your household and then just do it. As mentioned above - you don't ask, you're not rude just authoritative and you also are "protected" by a mother's forcefield - whatever your D says or does is not at you or about you - its the demon speaking - so ignore it. You make a schedule and stick to it, there can be rewards built in - but only if the schedule is completely stuck to - she really has NO say. The consequence of not following it are as listed above, return to A&E, private IP care (if available), no phone, no friends, etc. If she hates having you with her every minute of every day - then incent her to change that - follow YOUR schedule.

Now, some potentially really good news, in my D's case, she remember so little of her life when she was in the throes of the ED (I did not know that at the time) that even if you feel horrible, mean, too strict (choose your adjective) she will very likely not remember it and/or not see it the same. So now you have the power to do number 1 from above with the security that even if you're feeling mean and terrible - she very likely won't remember it. 

You can do this and she will one day (maybe a long time away) thank you. You know in your heart you'll do anything for her - so be the bad-a$$ meanie that she needs. 

Good luck. Take it day by day - don't worry about tomorrow - do your best today, then start over the next day. YOU CAN DO IT!
EASL wrote:
PjDj:

First - a virtual hug, what you are living through is so difficult and you have done nothing to deserve it and all of us empathise and sympathise with you.

Second - I have two "superpowers" that helped me when I realised I had them. 1) You are the boss - take a strong stance, decide with your husband how each day is going to run - be the general of your household and then just do it. As mentioned above - you don't ask, you're not rude just authoritative and you also are "protected" by a mother's forcefield - whatever your D says or does is not at you or about you - its the demon speaking - so ignore it. You make a schedule and stick to it, there can be rewards built in - but only if the schedule is completely stuck to - she really has NO say. The consequence of not following it are as listed above, return to A&E, private IP care (if available), no phone, no friends, etc. If she hates having you with her every minute of every day - then incent her to change that - follow YOUR schedule.

Now, some potentially really good news, in my D's case, she remember so little of her life when she was in the throes of the ED (I did not know that at the time) that even if you feel horrible, mean, too strict (choose your adjective) she will very likely not remember it and/or not see it the same. So now you have the power to do number 1 from above with the security that even if you're feeling mean and terrible - she very likely won't remember it. 

You can do this and she will one day (maybe a long time away) thank you. You know in your heart you'll do anything for her - so be the bad-a$$ meanie that she needs. 

Good luck. Take it day by day - don't worry about tomorrow - do your best today, then start over the next day. YOU CAN DO IT!


Thank you so much!
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pjdj
All,
Another huge bump. So she is less than one week into her second hospitalization to RWJ Somerset in New Jersey and today they called us and said she is a danger to herself so she needs to be taken to a psych ward. Just like that?
She did scratch herself due to anxiety on Saturday and they had to put her on one on one support. She was calm yesterday and today. They just put her on Zyprexa three days ago and not even giving time for it to work.

What do I do? Is there a way we can refuse to bring her home from there and also not take her to the psych ward?
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Kali

Hi pjdj,

Oh dear. Maybe RWJ is not the right place for her to be. Where did they recommend that she go? Did they have a specific place in mind?

My daughter also self harmed and did so while she was in Residential. Although she never would tell me exactly how she did it, I suspect that she was scratching herself deeply or punching herself since there was nothing on the ward she could use. The way they handled it there was to put her on a protocol where she was watched by a staff member 24/7. Even while she slept or had visitors. That lasted for a week and she had extensive therapy sessions during that week to try and work out some techniques to handle the self harm urges and encouragement from the staff as well as a family meeting where we discussed how we could help her. I do remember it was one of my lowest moments as a parent however in retrospect I am glad she was able to get the treatment she needed. That sort of intervention seemed to be helpful for her. I will not say it was the absolute last time she did it, however she is ok now. She has scarring on her hips from cutting. 

The self harm is often a symptom of the Anorexia.

Have you spoken with the ED unit in Princeton and would they take her?
Or considered ERC? They are far away, in Denver, but have an excellent reputation and have treated some complicated patients.

The psych unit which parents in the NJ NAMI group I was in recommended is St. Claires in Denville but I have no personal experience there. They have psychiatric emergency services and offer children's crisis intervention. They have a 24/7 hotline as well. However a regular psych ward might not be able to handle the feeding which anorexia requires, so pushing for hospitalization in an ED treatment center  which can handle self harm might be preferable.

One last comment, do not under any circumstances allow them to send her to Greystone. 

I am sorry. Sending you a virtual hug.

Kali


Food=Love
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pjdj
Kali wrote:

Hi pjdj,

Oh dear. Maybe RWJ is not the right place for her to be. Where did they recommend that she go? Did they have a specific place in mind?

My daughter also self harmed and did so while she was in Residential. Although she never would tell me exactly how she did it, I suspect that she was scratching herself deeply or punching herself since there was nothing on the ward she could use. The way they handled it there was to put her on a protocol where she was watched by a staff member 24/7. Even while she slept or had visitors. That lasted for a week and she had extensive therapy sessions during that week to try and work out some techniques to handle the self harm urges and encouragement from the staff as well as a family meeting where we discussed how we could help her. I do remember it was one of my lowest moments as a parent however in retrospect I am glad she was able to get the treatment she needed. That sort of intervention seemed to be helpful for her. I will not say it was the absolute last time she did it, however she is ok now. She has scarring on her hips from cutting. 

The self harm is often a symptom of the Anorexia.

Have you spoken with the ED unit in Princeton and would they take her?
Or considered ERC? They are far away, in Denver, but have an excellent reputation and have treated some complicated patients.

The psych unit which parents in the NJ NAMI group I was in recommended is St. Claires in Denville but I have no personal experience there. They have psychiatric emergency services and offer children's crisis intervention. They have a 24/7 hotline as well. However a regular psych ward might not be able to handle the feeding which anorexia requires, so pushing for hospitalization in an ED treatment center  which can handle self harm might be preferable.

I am sorry. Sending you a virtual hug.

Kali


Hi Kali,

Thank you so much for your response. My daughter was sent to St. Claire's two years ago for 9 days only because  RWJ  didn't take anyone below 14 then and Princeton had licensing issues. Then we found out about New York Presbyterian Eating Disorder Unit and moved her there. We will be checking with them tomorrow morning. but maybe this time the insurance would not cover. THey only did as there was no hospital for her in NJ that time. St. Claire traumatized her. She still blames us for sending her there. RWJ says she can go to a psych ward for a short time but then they don't care for her eating which means she will lose another few pounds making her medically unfit.  
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Kali
Hi pjdj,

My daughter was treated at the ED unit up at Columbia at the New York State Psychiatric Center on 168th street and they saved her life. Maybe try and get in touch with them and see if they would take her? They do not go through insurance. They are free because it is a research unit. They will keep patients there as long as they need to because it doesn't go through insurance. My d. was there for 11 weeks. They were able to work with her on her self harm as I described.

https://www.columbiapsychiatry.org/research-clinics/eating-disorders-clinic

According to the parents I spoke with, St. Clares was the best psych ward northern NJ has to offer and it was not a good fit for your daughter so maybe it is time to start looking out of state.

In your shoes i would be calling different treatment centers to see what options are available. Also do you have a case manager with your insurance company? We had one and sometimes that can be helpful to navigate the insurance issues.

it can get better.

Kali 

Food=Love
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Determined2help
I really am not as insightful or experienced as these other fantastic people but I can offer you a big virtual hug xxxx 
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EASL
Pjdj:

So sorry to hear how things are going - there is some excellent advice above and I hope you find a treatment centre that works for you. The self-harm is very likely the outward 'show' of the ED feeling frightened and your daughter not having any other method for coping - I have such sympathy for her. Keep going - she really needs you and your continued fight for her care is the right thing to do. Please keep posting as well - so we can lift you up and also send our thoughts and energies to you and your daughter. Sending lots of virtual hugs.
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Kali

Hi Pjdj

There is a blogpost on the feast site which I thought you might find interesting:

https://www.feast-ed.org/what-i-wish-someone-had-told-my-parents/

Hope you are managing OK today. You are doing hero's work.

Warmly,

Kali

Food=Love
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