F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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Boysmum
I posted back in November, struggling with my son as he became weight restored. At that point he had started to grow and was considered a healthy weight at 49.6kg, our target from camhs had been 51kg originally although we were subsequently told by the dietitian that 44kg would be good enough.
Thank goodness we thought that was rubbish advice!
We've been noticing in the last few days that he's been happy, eating has been good - still not 'normal' but it's all going in. We weighed him today and he's at last just gone over the 51kg to 51.8kg.
I just wanted to post to encourage anyone else, that extra weight really, really does help. Anxiety is better, sleep much better (albeit with melatonin), and actual spells of happiness! His bmi is 21.3, and if we'd followed the advice it would have been 18, just healthy but he would have remained miserable.

Ed wise still odd food behaviour, starting to hang about at mealtimes in an expectant way, (rather than running out of the room!), is accepting food with small encouragement -'do I have to eat this?', answer 'yes' and he eats it. Also asks 'what do I have to have?' rather than total food refusal. Dealt with Xmas buffets ok, his older sister fills his plate for him, and he eats it, usually checks that we are insisting first. I think left to himself he would easily slide back to Anorexia because he's not able to take responsibility for making food choices, he still needs to justify eating to ED that we are making him. Hopefully he will be able to make the final switch soon (or even one day?!)
13 yr old son diagnosed April 2015 with Anorexia.
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floating
Well done your hard work has paid off. BMI of 21 sounds good and has shown to ease his overall pain, anxiety etc. BMI 18 is rubbish...mothers know best and your instincts were spot on.

Now to keep going as he shoots up in height!!!

Great mum x


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Iaminspired
Great job!

I agree totally, the extra weight makes all the difference in the world.  D's medical team also wanted to keep her at a BMI of 19, where she was still very ill.  Against their advice I took her higher, through extinction burst and into more normal eating at a BMI of 22 or 23.

Fantastic work!  Good for you and your S!

Colleen
Colleen in Ontario

Single Mom to DD#1 (20), Autism Spectrum Disorder (diagnosed at 16 1/2), Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Social Anxiety, Panic Disorder
and DD#2 (17), In solid recovery from Restrictive AN, Managing Social Anxiety, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, ASD, finished with IP and FBT, successfully managing school and life

If, at the end of my days, I can say I saved the life of not only my child, but helped to save the life of someone else's child as well, then I have lived a good life.
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mrsfranks
I took my D's weight higher than T wanted and this was justified when we started seeing improvement in mental state. Anxiety did increase but she was better able to handle it.

We had appointment yesterday with one of two main drs at Westmead, our first time meeting him. He told us,and more importantly our D, that her bmi of 22 was at the lower end of healthy for her. He explained to her that her body is becoming that of an adult (got her first period 21st December,she turned 15 yesterday) so therefore she should be at an adult weight. Also told her to not pay any attention to bmi as what is healthy for one person isn't for another. Her period suggests her body is working as it should and it will do that at lower end of her healthy range so that's where she is.

Found it interesting that this was the first contradiction between team members we'd been given. The T wanted us to reduce intake around 2kgs less than current weight and begin maintaining. Luckily for me I listened to the wise folks here and my own instincts to disagree and keep going for gains. Happy with her as she is now and so is one of the leading experts in the country.
Failure is NOT an option.....
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Torie
Boysmum wrote:
.... Hopefully he will be able to make the final switch soon (or even one day?!)


Oh yay, so glad to read the good news!!!

I just want to remind you that being able to take responsibility for eating is a s-l-o-w (maddeningly slow) process. But you will get there.

Keep up the good work!

xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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OneToughMomma
Oh, Boysmum, well done!

You've had such a tough time and you should be so proud of how far you've all come.

What wonderful progress!

xoOTM
D in and out of EDNOS since age 8. dx RAN 2013. WR Aug '14. Graduated FBT June 2015 at 18 yrs old. [thumb]
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trusttheprocessUSA
You are a hero! So hard to push through with more weight but you did it. I'm in awe.

Food is medicine - now you've seen how it works.

Since your son is young he will need to continue to grow. The trick to long term recovery is to keep him in the same growth percentage as he grows. Track it in
http://www.mygrowthcharts.com

He will need to gain more weight to fuel his growth in height and to grow from a boy into a man.

You are doing it!
Son diagnosed @ 12.5 yrs old with Severe RAN 2/11. Co-morbids - anxiety, Active restriction for 3 months. He stopped eating completely 2x. He needed immediate, aggressive treatment from a provider who specialized in eating disorders, adolescents and males. We got that at Kartini Clinic. WR since 5/11. 2017 getting ready to graduate slipping lost 8lbs. Fighting our way back.
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PuddleduckNZ
Awesome work!

We saw the same, more weight is the ticket, it doesn't solve everything but it sure does make a difference.

Keeping it up through growth is ongoing, keep going!

Son 9yrs when he became unwell 2013, ED slide from April 2014, dx at 10yrs July 2014, 2 hospitalisations - dx so many times Behavioural Anorexia, EDNOS, ARFID. FBT from August 2014. Anxiety, Emetophobia. 13.5yrs old now! In recovery, gets better every day with constant vigilance, life returns.
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JustFlippinEatItNZ
Thank you for posting positive info :-)
19yo D, AN since Sept 2014. Was wt restored for a year or two but now starving again, refusing treatment or to admit she has a problem. BMI guesstimate around 13 or 14. Has left home.
Very sad Mum.
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schnook
Congratulations! And thanks for sharing.
Working hard at meal support and WR for an anxious and food avoidant 6yo
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