I’ve been meaning to write an update but I haven’t had enough time/energy/will.
So, my D is doing quite well, eating everything we serve, still having milkshakes with add ons, mainly canola oil, no longer putting on weight as before, she is stable in a higher curve than ever before at the moment with around 3,000 + cal.
We survived, and even enjoyed her birthday, my birthday, Halloween and a slumber party. I am now bracing myself for Christmas ha ha (I actually think it was in January that she started skipping lunch and possibly breakfast after overeating and putting up weight (real or perceived) in Christmas last year, so I am trying not to freak out in advance.
She didn´t wanted to do anything for her birthday but I managed to organize something nice with cousins and best friend (theme park) and it was a success. A shaky start (we ran a bit late and snack was tense, we ate at johnny rockets and she was the only one that did not order a burger, she had a bite of mine), but overall it was fun, she had a good time, parents end up exhausted. My birthday (a significant one) was nothing like I though it would be (when I imagined it last year, before ED). Again, I managed to organize something nice, a quiet weekend away (with the kids, but still better than nothing), we did have a few tense moments (we never have those at home anymore but, I don’t know, being away, disturbed rutines…) all in all not too bad. My husband missed his own significant birthday celebration as well earlier this year. We were in the middle of refeeding and had to cancel when we realized it was going to be a nightmare, so maybe next year we’ll do something nice for both of us.
Then came Halloween, which went pretty well.She is older now (14) so it’s more about helping younger cousins and brother to get their costumes ready and make up done. She did get some candy and ate it; it was fun and not a bit tense. She went out with friends and had lunch and a snack with them. She ate a snack in front of me before I left her and another (big one) immediately when I picked her up, she ate it without a fuss and ask for something extra(I did called her at lunchtime).
Finally, cousin’s birthday (same age as her) and slumber party. I can see how far we are because even less than a couple of months ago I was nervous about it (this cousin usually has slumber parties for her birthday so I kind of knew it was coming), but when it came I was fine. It was an easy one because it was at my sister in-law’s house. I stayed until after the cake, and was communicating with D through watts app, as we usually do it for snacks during the week. She was a bit tense before I left and didn’t want pizza or sushi (both favorite foods). I made sure she had ham, cheese, and some sushi as a snack before I left, and she had a (very late) dinner, breakfast and snack (without me, no fuss). When I arrived next day she was eating in a relaxed fashion some of the sushi and pizza she didn’t want the previous night. Her state was great and she continued eating without any problem the rest of the weekend, so success.
I feel that we are very slowly getting to phase II although I am in no hurry to give back control, it just kind of happened (eating snacks unsupervised kind of needed to happen sometimes and went well). I’m planning on staying in a very early phase II for a looooong time (it’s nerve racking), unsupervised snacks only when strictly necessary, parties and such only when someone I trust (or facetime) can report on snacks and lunch; she sometimes chooses from appropriate options (mainly snacks and in restaurants).
My question is (yes, there is one at the end of this ramble):
she overshoot quite a bit (couple of percentiles from her highest ever, she was usually less that 50th most of her live, she was a tiny 2th percentile baby, and very lean 25th percentile up until 6th grade, when she filled up to 50th percentile previous to puberty, then she shoot up, had her first period at 12, at 13 started eating “healthy”, shoot up again, got a stomach bug and down she went the rabbit hole). Right now, she is at eighty something percentile and looks great. So, is she supposed to stay there? Or will she go back to 75-50? The reason I ask is NOT because I’m afraid of her being in the current percentile or even higher, quite the opposite, I think I will be afraid if she goes down, should I? or is that her body going back to where it belongs? how do I know how far down is her body stabilizing and when to intervene?
thanks a lot