F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

Join these conversations already in progress:
• Road To Recovery - Stories of Hope
• Events for Parents and Caregivers Around the World
• Free F.E.A.S.T Conference Videos

Visit the F.E.A.S.T website for information and support.

If you need help using the forum please reach out to one of the moderators (listed below), or email us at bronwen@feast-ed.org.

Need to talk with another parent? F.E.A.S.T. parents offer peer support via:

salmy
D has her yearly physical next week. Her physical last year and seeing her weight seems to be where ED started getting a hold of her. She has a new Dr who works closely with our treatment team and is better versed in ED patients. I'm still extremely worried about all the wrong things being said or done. Her pediatrician is receiving the body comp data from the nutritionist... do we really need to get a weight at the pediatrician's office? Does the pediatrician really need to press on D's stomach when that triggers massive anxiety and body dysmorphia? How have your families proceeded with regular well visits while in ED recovery? 
 
D16 diagnosed AN October 2019 -25% of body weight, but still "healthy weight" per Dr.
Started FBT Dec 2019
July 2020 Fully WR + 10%
2 Months in to Phase 2
Quote
Enn

If your d has had her height and weight checked and her blood pressure within this last year, and I am sure she has, I am not sure what would be gained by this yearly exam. 


If she needs vaccinations they can do it without all the other stuff. Could you reach out to the doctor’s office and ask what more they could assess if she is being ‘examined’ regularly? I don’t feel this is that important at this time. If she had organ specific complaints like her bowels then you could make an appointment for that on its own. 


Again as she is having regular assessment for height and weight and blood pressure on occasion due to ED, not sure why more to do.

When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
Quote
Kali
Hi Salmy,
I can only speak to what we did; we did not skip yearly pediatricians visits when my daughter was ill. She needed some vaccinations but I can't remember offhand which ones they were. I also thought it was a good idea to loop the dr. in to what was happening with her health and the ED.

Kali
Food=Love
Quote
LaraB
If it were me, I would get the vaccinations and skip the rest. Well teen assessments do not happen in U.K. Vaccinations are done in school.
Quote
PurpleRain
We also have the yearly pediatric visit soon (as soon as the Dr feel it's, safe wee still in lockdown). I took her last year, her Dr always weights them (my younger s too) looking the other way (my D could look if she wanted but never has) she is great, she has always been like that, way before ED. We had to do a physical for insurance reasons in January, I didn't knew the Dr and couldn't talk to anyone in advance, I was so nervous. The Dr was tiny (height and weight wise) and that made me even more nervous, but she was great, she weighted her looking the other way and said you are a bit slender (she was already WR +) I loved her! however if it a trigger for your D and you have no way of make sure they don't say unhelpful things and blind weight maybe (if she's been monitored re height, weight and blood pressure) you could skip it or ask to have the vaccinations only. 
Good luck and let us now what happens
13 yo d started to eat "healthy" September 2018, she had a growth spurt a bit later, followed by tummy bug. She started restricting breakfast and school lunch in January 2019 (that we know). We succesfully refed at home.
I have found inner strenght, patience and compassion that I did not know I had.
Never retreat, never surrender
keep feeding
 
Quote
PurpleRain
We also have the yearly pediatric visit soon (as soon as the Dr feel it's safe since we are still in lockdown). I took her last year, her Dr always weights them (my younger s too) looking the other way (my D could look if she wanted but never has). Dr.is great, she has always been like that, way before ED. We had to do a physical for insurance reasons in January, I didn't knew the Dr and couldn't talk to anyone in advance, I was so nervous. The Dr was tiny (height and weight wise) and that made me even more nervous, but she was great, she weighted her looking the other way and said you are a bit slender (she was already WR +) I loved her! however if it's a trigger for your D and you have no way of making sure they don't say unhelpful things and blind weight her maybe (if she's been monitored re height, weight and blood pressure) you could skip it or ask to have the vaccinations only. 
Good luck and let us now what happens
13 yo d started to eat "healthy" September 2018, she had a growth spurt a bit later, followed by tummy bug. She started restricting breakfast and school lunch in January 2019 (that we know). We succesfully refed at home.
I have found inner strenght, patience and compassion that I did not know I had.
Never retreat, never surrender
keep feeding
 
Quote
Hope42019
My 15 year old D just had her physical last week. It is required for sports and school activities. I called a day prior and spoke to the nurse. She had the scale setup for a blind weighing. I asked that we don’t talk about BMI, growth charts or weight and it went smoothly. I was relieved because like you I had anxiety about this visit. She also did not put her weight on the paperwork that gets sent home with us to give to the school. It all worked out thankfully. If I would not have reached out ahead of time it would not have gone as smoothly. 
Quote
atdt31_US
Maybe you could do the appointment sort of ala  carte... opt out if triggering stuff we skipped once, for different reasons. I regret it because she went two years between scoliosis checks, which I think can be important in teen years especially with abnormal growth and spurts and potentially bone loss. 
Mom of either pre-diagnosis or non-ed underweight 12 yoa (as of March 2018) kid here to learn how to achieve weight gain.  BMI steadily in the mid 12's for nearly her entire life.  Born 2006. UPDATE:  April 2018 diagnosed ARFID, based solely on weight being less than 75% of Ideal Body Weight.  Mildly picky, but mostly the problem is a volume/early satiety issue, along with abdominal discomfort and chronic constipation, all present since birth.  UPDATE:  July 2019 diagnosed with PANS. Dr. said likely started first PANS episode at less than 1 or 2 years of age.  On long-term daily prophylactic antibiotics. BMI now about 16 after period of intense refeeding prior to PANS dx,  followed by stagnation as we sort out what is next. FWIW ED-D is a fraternal twin and we have no other kids.
Quote
salmy
Thank you for all of these replies🙂
I've made a plan... emailed the Dr to confirm no weights needed, also no touching her belly or touching period without consent. Also emailed the Dr to let her know we are rapidly learning about HAES and fat positive thinking and that it is really important to us that these messages are consistent amongst her providers. The Dr was recommended for her work with ED adolescents but is not a HAES certified provider. D is having regular headaches so we will chat about that, and I really want her height to be measured...she has grown during WR!! I think they'll also order blood work since its been 6 months, but other than that we are all set. I will be in the room until the Dr has the private mental health conversation with D.... which scares me, but I can't control all the things..... and I have this niggling feeling in my brain that my controlling all the things is somehow holding her back in recovery... call it momsense, but I'm scared (so scared) to follow it.
D16 diagnosed AN October 2019 -25% of body weight, but still "healthy weight" per Dr.
Started FBT Dec 2019
July 2020 Fully WR + 10%
2 Months in to Phase 2
Quote

        

WTadmin