F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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va_mom
Hi, 
I've been lurking for a few months here and have learned a lot from all of you. Thank you! I'm not sure what all I should share since this is my first post, but I do have a question.

Our daughter, 21 years old, has been suffering from AN-R for about a year. She is currently about 90 pounds at about 5'4". 

We will be attending the 5-day program at UCSD in 2 weeks hoping it will kick-start her recovery since outpatient has not worked, and expect she will need continued intensive treatment afterwards. We are looking at their partial hospitalization program and I was wondering if anyone has had a child participate in the partial hosp. program and, if so, what was it like, did they stay in the apartments associated with the program, did you stay with them or nearby, would you characterize it as successful, etc. etc.??

We don't live nearby and have to fly there so where we didn't hesitate about the 5 day program, this is a little intimidating since she could be there for months. We already know that neither of us could be there the first couple weeks because neither my husband nor I can arrange to be out of work for an extended period without preparation and giving several weeks notice. I know she is an adult and will only have a couple hours each night and Sundays where she will be on her own, but also worry that she just isn't in a place to be on her own right now since her thinking is not clear. Financially, one of us staying there will be difficult, but we're willing to do whatever we need to if it means she's more likely to recover. 

We won't really know anything until we get there and see if the program "clicks" with our daughter and whether she is willing to stay, but we're trying to prepare both emotionally and practically if it is a possibility. If anyone has any advice or opinions I would so appreciate hearing from you. Thanks. Really.
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sk8r31
Hi va_mom, & welcome. 
I can't speak about the PHP program at UCSD, nor really offer any advice about apartments etc for a longer term stay.  Our family did the 5 Day program, & we stayed in an Airbnb, which was comfortable & close by...though we did have a rental car.  I know there will be others who will hopefully be by soon who will have more info and suggestions on accommodation.
What I will say is that the UCSD program was the 'light switch' moment for our d and our family...and I can recommend the folks there whole-heartedly.  It is a wonderful staff & a stellar program.
Hoping that this program will help to kickstart a strong recovery for you d.
With warm support,
sk8r31
It is good to not only hope to be successful, but to expect it and accept it--Maya Angelou
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Kali

Hi Va_mom!

If you would like to read about a family whose daughter was treated at the php program at UCSD, please look up some of DC's posts.


https://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post/our-journey-at-ucsd-eating-disorder-center-9605022?pid=1302783077

https://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post/discharge-from-ucsd-9581571?pid=1302629119#gsc.tab=0

 

warmly,
Kali

Food=Love
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va_mom
sk8r31 and Kali,

Thank you so much for your replies and thank you for the links to dc's posts. It has all been so helpful and the posts led me to others that I missed because I didn't search that far back. 

It's all just so overwhelming, which of course you all know and are living too.  Hopefully we will find out if she is cleared medically onto attend the 5-day program Monday or Tuesday. Yesterday UCSD requested more information from her doctors after receiving the first batch of test results. We theoretically leave next weekend.

Again, many thanks.
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sk8r31
Wishing you all the best, & keep us posted on your 'next steps'.

With warm support,
sk8r31
It is good to not only hope to be successful, but to expect it and accept it--Maya Angelou
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va_mom
I just wanted to post an update on our experience. We attended the 5-day young adult IFT program last week and while the week was stressful, emotional, tiring, and a number of other challenging adjectives, it was also incredibly valuable and helpful, informative, and gave me hope. Our daughter had some struggles during the program and had panic attacks during both meals and several sessions, but the therapists handled them amazingly and the dietitian was kind and helpful while still "holding the line". She managed to comply with the requirements for most meals and trusted the staff, which is a huge thing for her. In fact, she responded so well to the therapists that she agreed to stay and attend the 10-hr/day PHP program. A month ago she never would have agreed to attend a program which is of course why her condition continued to deteriorate.

I'm still processing the experience and my thoughts but if anyone has any questions I would be happy to answer them as best as I can. Some great "day by day" posts have already been written about the program and I don't want to repeat the same information but will gladly share anything people think would be helpful. I obviously don't have any experience with the actual PHP program yet, but I will hopefully be able to answer questions about it soon.

Thanks, everyone, for your help and well wishes. 
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sk8r31
So great to hear that the week has been a good experience overall.  We also felt emotionally drained by the end of the week, but also much more hopeful and empowered.  All the best to you & your d and next steps in the PHP program.
It is good to not only hope to be successful, but to expect it and accept it--Maya Angelou
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