F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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Phinnc
My daughter became obviously ill in May 2019 and diagnosed with RAN in Oct 2019. We have been fighting a battle ever since. In Oct 19 she weighed 36.5kgs (she is now 15 and 5ft inches tall), last weigh in she was just over 48kgs which is the heaviest she has ever been. She is a runner and has always been small.

There has been violence, shouting, screaming and so many tears with one of the biggest arguments ever last week where my partner nearly gave up and left. We are both in mourning for our own lives and what we have lost along with mourning her life.

Anyway, since last Friday she has eaten more every day, visibly on front of us, has socialised more with friends and generally become more like the daughter I used to have.  We have laughed for the first time in a long time and I have slept easier.

I know that we still have a long battle ahead but can things just change one day for the better? Is there anything I should be looking out for?

I want to take the good times whilst they are there but always seem to be looking for the worst. 

Any input or thoughts would be much appreciated.

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Kali
Hi Phinnc,

This sounds so encouraging. Yes things can change one day for the better. Recovery is not a straight line though, it can go a couple of steps forward and then a couple of steps backward. So enjoy this. She has had sustained nutrition for awhile, it seems, and from what I can figure out from what you are saying her bmi is around 20.5. The treatment center my daughter was in did a longitudinal study of recovery rates compared to the bmi's patients were released at from the hospital when weight restored. The sweet spot seemed to be 20.5. Of course some people might require more weight as time went on depending on their body type and age, however the study concluded that the overall rate of eventual recovery was higher when patients were released at least at that bmi and had maintained that for at least 6 weeks before leaving the program.

You have done a wonderful job getting her weight up. And socializing and laughing are signs that she is enjoying her life again.

The only thing I would caution, is to ask whether your daughter has a history of purging and for you to be on the lookout to make sure that is not the reason she is eating more now. 

warmly,

Kali
Food=Love
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Phinnc
Kali

Thanks for the response. It is so positive and makes me realise that there is definitely hope.

No purging here, of that I am sure. We are with her most of the time and always for quite a while afte meals so think I am comfortable with that although always got at least one eye on all behaviours.

I suspect her BMI has always been low as she has always been so lean though 5/6 training sessions a week so I feel she in the best place she has maybe ever been in.

Fingers crossed we keep going like this with the bumps in the road getting fewer.

Appreciate all the things I read.on this forum. Not sure where I would be without this.

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Enn

What a nice update. When my d would get a bit better I was always worried I was missing something and that ED found  a loophole.  Mostly at the beginning she was just getting better as her weight went up. So enjoy this. 

I am glad your d is gaining and I would just caution you about her weight.
I too thought my d was meant to be on the 25th percentile or lower on the weight scale compared
to other kids. We found she had to get up to over 50th percentile to really she her flourish and thrive. 

Yes things get better. As you have likely already learned, once your skills develop it get better for you and her. As she gets more nourished it gets better for you and her again. 

You have done and are doing such a good job. Keep going. 

 

When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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Phinnc
Thank you Enn. We are continuing to push the weight gain, it has slowed but we continue to push it and I believe it is going in the right direction based on what I can see. We have stopped weighing her at home during lockdown as it was adding unnecessary stress. Initially I thought I would be fine where she is but realise now, when I see her even, that she needs more on her plus we need more on her as a safety buffer and to give us some breathing space. I never saw her as slight before but I see a different picture now. 

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