We allowed our d to stop her ED therapy because we saw it was making her worse (long story short - she was up against a fear weight - a therapist picked THAT WEEK to all of a sudden get nitpicky about my d playing Sudoku during breaks and it all just snowballed into a power struggle that no one was going to win and only my d would lose). We have charged our d with finding a new ED therapy program and we've given her 1 week to do so or we will find one for her.
Our d was to have restarted her SA DBT therapy this morning but I couldn't take her because she didn't eat her breakfast (I would have been happy with an apple). She ate an apple before morning appts. 3 times last week so I know she can do it.
I really COULDN'T take her this morning because I felt like to do so would have been sending the wrong message that I was complying with the ED. She confessed that she had dreams the night before where she was dreaming she was too fat. She said she felt nauseous this morning.
Her next DBT appt. is Thursday. She likes DBT and my H and I can see that it helps her in many aspects of her life. Staying home from DBT today means she'll play computer games in isolation all her waking hours. I was fearful that the fact that I kept her home because she wouldn't eat breakfast might mean she won't eat today at all to spite me but in fact 1 hour after we were to have left the house for DBT she at an apple, cereal and cottage cheese. I am not sure she kept it down but H and I ignored that possibility and told her we were proud of her for eating and fighting the ED voice.
I don't want this 'therapy stops until you eat' to turn into a power struggle between her and I because we will both lose. I tried to make it not that by saying that perhaps she took her seroquel too late last night and that Weds. night she might consider taking it earlier so she'll sleep better and not feel so sick the next morning.
My H is home today and told me that we've never kept her home from T because of not eating before and he's right. He disagreed with me but instead of fighting me about it in front of her he left the room and we talked privately and all was fine between us which has not always been the case.
What do I do? Do I keep her home on Thursday as well? She'll get kicked out of DBT if she misses too much. Her weight is at the very low end of healthy right now. We are monitoring it at home.
Also what would you say/do for a 19 year old who is having dreams and interrupted sleep over ED thoughts? The seroquel she takes is to quiet these sort of thoughts but I guess it didn't work too well last night.