F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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Frazzled
Hi all. Due to my husbands health issues he is not allowed any meat or dairy to help preserve any kidney function he has left. I’m worried that this is triggering for my ED daughter. She has been interested in trying some of the things he has been eating. I have let her try a veggie burger (fried with high calorie bun and sides) and she loves it and wants one often for lunch. I know that it is common for those who have an ED to want to turn vegetarian. Thoughts?? 
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Enn
Hi frazzled.
With renal failure yes the goal is to decrease protein to preserve what they can. 
As your d knows her dad is ill and for him not to have meat that is part  his treatment. 
As for the  veggie burger, I actually think it is fine on occasion and has protein. It is not protein free . 
They can also be same or more calories than regular burgers. 
My opinion is that as long as she has a variety of foods that includes meat at times I think that is fine.
I had just thought about you yesterday and here you are! I do hope you are keeping well and have the supports and breaks you need to keep level while you balance these complex illnesses.
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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ValentinaGermania
To eat a vegetarian burger now and then does not mean to get vegetarian. If you keep serving meat for her as well on other days of the week I think she needs to stand that dad eats a different diet then she does. Different food for different people. That is also a learning process in ED recovery.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Frazzled
Enn...Thanks so much for your thoughts and for thinking of me. Much appreciated. My daughter does still have meat at meals so I guess I shouldn’t worry so much (hard for me to do). I was afraid that if I started to let her have some of that type of food that she would want to go all in. I am always waiting for ED’s next trick! Valentina Germania..appreciate your thoughts as well. I will continue to stress to her different food for different people. I thinks she gets it but like I said above I am being extra vigilant, particularly for an opportunity for her to think she is cutting calories. She also wanted to try zucchini noodles (zoodles) which I wouldn’t allow because of the low calories verses regular pasta. Thanks again for you wisdom and reply. 
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Torie
Hi Frazzled, I agree it is fine for her to try those foods on occasion.  I would even say zoodles would be okay to try, if you feel okay explaining that she will need twice as many of them (or whatever is equivalent) as regular noodles.  Or she could eat her regular noodles and take a bite or two of zoodles if she is okay having a bit "extra."

All the best to you, your d, and your h xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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MKR
Hi @Frazzled,

I wonder if zucchini noodles soak up more oil than regular pasta?  I am saying this because "vege" chips seem to leave fingers greasier than potato chips.

Maybe I should try it out first and report. 
Mum's Kitchen

14-y-o "healthy living" led to AN in 2017 and WR at 16. Current muscle dysmorphia.
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Frazzled
MKR...Great idea! I am going to try it. I hope it works!!
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ValentinaGermania
I think it is really important in the process of recovery that they learn that a meal is a complete portion and when they restrict one part of it it needs to be added somewhere else. So noodles with less calories can be chosen but then the portion needs to increase or there needs to be cream added to the sauce. I think it is an important sign to show them that all food is o.k. (except those light and diet versions for sure) but that different foods mean different portion sizes or addings.
We eat 2 times meat and 2 times fish and 3 times vegetarian every week and I love for example the vegetarian patties as they suck a lot of oil in and I fry all vegetable. So vegetarian must not be "light". 😁
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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atdt31_US
MKR wrote:
Hi @Frazzled,

I wonder if zucchini noodles soak up more oil than regular pasta?  I am saying this because "vege" chips seem to leave fingers greasier than potato chips.

Maybe I should try it out first and report. 


No scientific evidence to back it up, but I would guess they soak up considerably less.  I am gluten free so do eat zoodles sometimes and it seems I have to work to get sauce on a bite ... maybe the sauce I am using.  I do, however, like a bowl with gf spaghetti noodles mixed 1/2 with zoodles ...  

Also, if she likes the zoodles, authentically, maybe instead of making the mound so much bigger to match pasta, you have her eat a spoonful of peanut butter with apple, or something similar that would not have otherwise been part of the meal.
Mom of either pre-diagnosis or non-ed underweight 12 yoa (as of March 2018) kid here to learn how to achieve weight gain.  BMI steadily in the mid 12's for nearly her entire life.  Born 2006. UPDATE:  April 2018 diagnosed ARFID, based solely on weight being less than 75% of Ideal Body Weight.  Mildly picky, but mostly the problem is a volume/early satiety issue, along with abdominal discomfort and chronic constipation, all present since birth.  UPDATE:  July 2019 diagnosed with PANS. Dr. said likely started first PANS episode at less than 1 or 2 years of age.  On long-term daily prophylactic antibiotics. BMI now about 16 after period of intense refeeding prior to PANS dx,  followed by stagnation as we sort out what is next. FWIW ED-D is a fraternal twin and we have no other kids.
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MKR
Thank you for sharing your observations @atdt31_US

And it's a good suggestion to combine it with a snack  - to tell the ED this is no loophole 😉 
Mum's Kitchen

14-y-o "healthy living" led to AN in 2017 and WR at 16. Current muscle dysmorphia.
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Aggie
It might be worth trying 'great if you are you having that, you need to have this also'. I would also give an option that I knew wouldn't be easy, worked for us xx
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