F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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LoveWithoutLimits
Dear Family of Fighters,

We have lost our daughter to ED this past December, but cannot help others fight the fight. My daugter's friend is 17 years old and recovering from a surgery in a Toronto, CA hospital. I am posting, with her permission, on their family's behalf.
The insurance system will send her to one of three treatment facilities, and we're not sure how much choice they have. However, their 3 choices are McClean, Boston versus River Oaks, LA  versus Roger's, Wisconsin.

Can anyone provide feedback about the treatment in these facilities, especially more recently (2015 to 2016)?

I look forward to your help - helping another.
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medford
I live in Canada, so, I don't have any advice on treatment facilities.  However, I am praying that we can get our daughter to agree to go to one. Ours story too is a very sad one and my daughter, 17, is living in a transitional environment and going down hill very quickly.  In Canada, once your child turns 16, they, in turn the illness, has all of the power.  I am stared that my daughter will not make it.  I wanted to send you a post LoveWithoutLimits just to tell you how sorry I am about the loss of your daughter and amazed at your strength and compassion to help others. 

Warm wishes,

medford
D 19, dx with RAN in March 2014. 6 hospital and 2 psychiatric inpatient stay. Not living at home and just completed first year of university
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LoveWithoutLimits
Thank you for your encouragement. The person I'm communicating with in Canada has 'SDM' (Substitute Decision Make) authority; not sure if you have that benefit.
I pray your daughter develops the motivation to get the help she needs.  With our loss, I can either crawl into a hole and hope to disappear...or ask God what He would ask me to do.

May ED be history!
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EDAction
Dear Love Without Limits,
I do not have info for your friend, but I am so sorry for your loss. There are no words. I am praying for you.
DD diagnosed with anorexia at 14; FBT at home with the help of psychologist and medical dr; 3+ years later and doing well (knock on wood)
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LoveWithoutLimits
Thank you EDaction.
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Cherryusa
any chance , Veritas Collaborative in Durham , Nc. have family call them directly and work with their ins. co it may be worth the extra distance over the others. sometimes ins looks at location and doesn't have a lot of experience with the treatment facility itself. best of luck and so very very sorry for your loss.
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iHateED
So incredibly sorry for your lose, I can't even imagine the pain that you are in right now.  And for you to continue to help others is just amazing!   I agree with Cherry that the best fit may not be one of these three programs.  They may be good (I don't know anything about them) but it's best to do your own research based on the complexity of the illness and co-morbids.  Is there self harm or suicidal thoughts?  Not all places will accept these symptoms.  Have the family member call each facility and really talk about the program, ask lots of questions and challenge some of the answers if they don't sound like they practice evidence based treatment.   Best of luck to this family and hugs to you for helping them.
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HateEDwithApassion
I live literally down the street from Rogers. When we were considering inpatient for my D if things didn't improve, her doctor recommended ERC in Denver. She did not recommend Rogers even though that would have been an 8-minute drive from my house and much easier on our family.

The campus is beautiful, but what our doctor said is that for the expense that inpatient is, you want to be in the place that has the best possible results for recovery, and she believed my D would be better cared for by ERC. From what I've heard, Rogers doesn't have good followup and seems to lose interest when the insurance money runs out. I literally have no experience myself - I am repeating what I've heard through the grapevine only.

My D did have a friend who went into Rogers for a few weeks, and who today is struggling still, but I attribute that more to a parent who has taken her eye off the ED and allowed her D to become vegan. And makes her buy her own food if she wants to be vegan. Crazy. Can't believe that.

I've heard, on this forum, great things about McClean, but I thought it was self-pay.  If you do a search on here, I think most families have thought the care and approach was very good at McClean. 

I have no idea if this helps, but wanted to share what I knew.


19 yo D. AN - since about 15 years old. WR quickly - but the last four years have been tough. Since Sept. 2017, two residential stays, now in IOP, fighting a relapse. ED is hanging on, mental state not great, can't get her to remain at a weight long enough or high enough to see mental healing. She's on a gap year that will likely now turn into two.
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