F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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Torie
On another thread, Melstev wrote, "Hi Torie ... How are you and d doing?"  I didn't want to hijack that thread, but I did want to explain my absence.  Just a quick warning that this story has a happy ending, which I know can be hard to read when you're trying to claw your way out of the rabbit hole.  (Some may want to skip this one.)

Long story short: D is doing great! In her third year of university now, about 3 - 4 hours from home.  Some may remember that she had been well and truly weight restored for several years before heading off to university, but still, I was filled with anxiety when she headed off to school without me.  Maybe a year ago, I was a little concerned about something (don't remember what), and she said, "Mom, please don't worry.  I'm fine."  What was really striking about this is that she seemed to be thinking of ME, and wanting me not to worry because I have been through enough, instead of wanting me not to worry because that's a drag for HER.  How times change.

So my girl has grown up.  She has come through the other side.

In other news, I have been having to take more and more care of my mom, who is now 103 and still living in the house I grew up in.  Luckily I have many sisters, and we take turns traveling there to care for her.  My mom's mind is still sharp (thank heavens), but her body is struggling to keep going.  Nothing in particular, just everything has been through so much, so very much over all these many years.  

And one of my non-ED d's got married a month ago.  Oh my goodness, how weddings have ramped up since I was married 40 years ago!  I couldn't begin to count the hours I put into that.

So I have been very busy, and really, I want to say I still don't like this "new" website.  I realize that is no one's fault and the old format was no longer an option, but still, I miss it.

Well, that's my story.  It's great to see all my old friends here, and bittersweet to see all the new folks who have (blessedly) found their way here, but (oh so sadly) found the need to be.  Thanks for being here! 

Love to all xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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deenl
Lovely to hear of all your good news. And, wow, 103!

Warm wishes,

D
2015 12yo son restricting but no body image issues, no fat phobia; lost weight IP! Oct 2015 home, stable but no progress. Medical hosp to kick start recovery Feb 2016. Slowly and cautiously gaining weight at home and seeing signs of our real kid.

May 2017 Hovering around WR. Mood great, mostly. Building up hour by hour at school after 18 months at home. Summer 2017 Happy, first trip away in years, food variety, begin socialising. Sept 2017, back to school FT first time in 2 years. [thumb] 2018 growing so fast hard to keep pace with weight
  • Swedish proverb: Love me when I least deserve it because that's when I need it most.
  • We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence Recovery, then, is not an act but a habit. Aristotle.
  • If the plan doesn't work, change the plan but never the goal.
  • We cannot control the wind but we can direct the sail.
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Enn
I am pleased to hear that all is well!
wow 103 that is amazing it is nice you and your sisters are able to help her. 
Congratulations on the wedding!
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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ValentinaGermania
Thanks a lot Torie for this great news and I am sure you gave hope to those in the dark days today with that!
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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melstevUK
Hi Torie,

It is great to hear all your good news and to hear how your d has come out the other side!  It really is a question of supporting, encouraging and then maturity kicking in when they realise that they have other skills and qualities and the need to be desperately thin recedes into the background.  

Your mum is amazing - such an achievement to reach that age.  And delighted to hear about another daughter's wedding.

Glad the dark days of being a hostage to ed are over for you finally.  It gives hope to others who are on this hellish journey.  
Believe you can and you're halfway there.
Theodore Roosevelt.
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teecee

Torie it’s great to see you have kept swimming 😊
I remember arriving here nearly 2 years ago (?) and feeling shellshocked but you were one of the kind people who helped me through the darkest days. 

please keep taking care of yourself. I’m so pleased that things worked out for you. X

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kazi67
Hi Torie
great to hear your update and that your d and your family are doing well 

103 that’s amazing! Glad to hear you now can spend more time caring for your mum 
I can imagine the wedding was a beautiful day for you all 
nice to hear the good stories of when families make it through the other side, definately gives others hope of recovery 
thanks for all your support to everyone on the forum, I do remember arriving here feeling very lost, scared and confused (I still am some days but not as often thank goodness as we too are coming through the other side too, be it slowly 2steps forward 1 back)  and all the support and words of wisdom on the forum helped us a lot 

x
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Mamaroo
Hi Torie, thanks for the update! Your posts are always inspiring and your advice spot on, I'm glad you're back!
D became obsessed with exercise at age 9 and started eating 'healthy' at age 9.5. Restricting couple of months later. IP for 2 weeks at age 10. Slowly refed for months on Ensures alone, followed by swap over with food at a snails pace. WR after a year at age 11 in March 2017. View my recipes on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKLW6A6sDO3ZDq8npNm8_ww
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HopeNZ
"So my girl has grown up.  She has come through the other side."
Torie, I'm so very happy to read this!  Thank you for sharing and for continuing to give us all hope.  Your voice on this forum of angels was one of the many who guided us through our dark days at the very beginning of our journey, and I always value your posts.  I hope you'll continue to drop in and share your wisdom, and your family's progress.
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Ellesmum
Hi Torie,

lovely to read your update. You were I think the first or one of the first to respond to me when I first found my way here.

I am so glad you’re daughter is well and truly through it and your family are doing well. 103- wow! 
Ellesmum
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mjkz
Awesome!!!
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Kali
Hi Torie!

Was so pleased to read your update. Sounds like you are having a regular life, something we all appreciate after coming out the other end. I had noticed you were away for awhile.

103!!! If you are like your mom you will be able to give great advice to the folks here for many years to come!

Best,
Kali
Food=Love
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Torie
Thanks, everyone!  It's great to catch up with all my old friends here again.  xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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Francie
Hi Torie, I'm so happy to hear your great news! Thank you for all the support!! XO

Francie

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