F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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jennifereden

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Reply with quote  #1 
Today my daughter turned thirteen. No party, no day out, no cake. ED won today.
atdt31_US

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Reply with quote  #2 
Sorry. Find a good day and celebrate with her in a way she will accept.  No kid should have to go through this but if they do, they should get holidays and birthdays off.  
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Mom of either pre-diagnosis or non-ed underweight 12 yoa (as of March 2018) kid here to learn how to achieve weight gain.  BMI steadily in the mid 12's for nearly her entire life.  Born 2006. UPDATE:  April 2018 diagnosed ARFID, based solely on weight being less than 75% of Ideal Body Weight.  Mildly picky, but mostly the problem is a volume/early satiety issue, along with abdominal discomfort and chronic constipation, all present since birth. FWIW ED-D is a fraternal twin and we have no other kids.
EDAction

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Reply with quote  #3 
I'm so sorry jennifereden.  I hate that ED takes so much.  

Some days ED will win.  The important part is to get back up and fight it another day.  You are doing hero's work.  Let go of today so you can be there tomorrow.

Thinking of you.

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DD diagnosed with anorexia at 14; FBT at home with the help of psychologist and medical dr; 3+ years later and doing well (knock on wood)
Foodsupport_AUS

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Reply with quote  #4 
It is heart wrenching. This illness takes away so much from our children. 

I hope there was something nice you could do with and for your D, and next year may things be so much better.

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D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
Kali

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Reply with quote  #5 
Hi Jennifereden,

So sorry, it really does hit home when those "normal" things like birthdays are normal no longer...my daughter spent her 18th birthday in residential treatment, no cake, no celebration, and an added extra bonus: she wouldn't even talk to me!

Now we have birthdays with cake and special events, and she will let herself be celebrated and enjoy the day.

Keep going, tomorrow is another day and another chance to help your daughter.

warmly,

Kali

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Food=Love
scaredmom

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Reply with quote  #6 

hi jennifereden,
Ed makes life events so hard. We too had a hard birthday last year. And you know what, this year was so good. You will get there too! As EDAction says, let today go. Keep focussing on the feeding and remember then next birthday will be that much sweeter. These days that the world takes for granted are even more special for us as we know what our kids are going through. Find another day to do something special for her and you. It does get better, please hold on to that.

XXX

 


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Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
jennifereden

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Reply with quote  #7 
Thank you all for your support! Happy Mothers Day!
toothfairy

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Reply with quote  #8 
Hi Jennifereden,
I am sorry you are struggling.
Can you "require " her to eat a cupcake or ice  cream.
How can we help you?

Have you seen Eva Musby's video's and book?

Can you start " Life Stops Until You Eat" ?



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Food is the medicine. Recovery is possible.
toothfairy

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Reply with quote  #9 
https://www.amazon.com/Anorexia-other-Eating-Disorders-compassionate/dp/0993059805




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Food is the medicine. Recovery is possible.
jennifereden

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Posts: 11
Reply with quote  #10 
Quote:
Originally Posted by toothfairy
Hi Jennifereden,
I am sorry you are struggling.
Can you "require " her to eat a cupcake or ice  cream.
How can we help you?

Have you seen Eva Musby's video's and book?

Can you start " Life Stops Until You Eat" ?




I have just purchased on Amazon. I have read other books but, knowledge = power. Thank you!
Mamaroo

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Reply with quote  #11 
Hi Jennifereden

My d spent her 10th birthday in hospital. We brought cake to the hospital, but she didn't have a slice. On her 11th birthday she had a slice and at her 12th birthday she insisted on having a big cake with chips and lollies. It takes time, you will get there!

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D became obsessed with exercise at age 9. Started eating 'healthy' at age 9.5. Restricting couple of months later. IP for 2 weeks at age 10. Slowly refed for months on Ensures alone, followed by swap over with food at a snails pace. WR after a year at age 11 in March 2017. She is back to her old happy self and can eat anything put in front of her. Now working on intuitive eating.
needhelp

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Posts: 109
Reply with quote  #12 
I'm so sorry - perhaps you could look forward and focus on her half birthday?  When my kids were younger we used to celebrate half birthdays - half a card, half a cake, it was silly and fun - but it could also serve as something you could think about - you don't need to wait a whole year to celebrate - smaller steps mean more victories - you will get there, and so will she. Hugs : )
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