F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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I am so fed up. My s has hit rock bottom since his dad went to rehab in another state for 3 months. He left on sat without telling the kids. Their stepmum told me and I had to tell them.
D is in the verge of IP due to no weight gain, am trying desperately to increases food, and now she is more compliant with meal plan, although think she is still cutting snacks supervised at school and caught her secret exercising last night.
We have d’s creamy yoghurts that she has to eat every night, and she finally agrees and my s eats all her high fat food and when we go to get them they are gone.
He has been doing this binge eating for a while and I have been worried, but people kept telling me that boys eat everything. There are wrappers all over his room, and he eats really fast and skips breakfast and brings back lunch box full. He denies eating things and seems to not remember sometimes. I have been trying to work on getting food in regularly, and try not to be cross when he has eaten food on AN d’s food plan. Feel like I am going mad trying to limit his intake in the evening and increase hers, never knowing when I will find empty packets. My eldest son, away at uni, also ate out the cupboards and wrappers everywhere in his room, and had little self control over a tray of brownies and then dieted to lower body fat for his elite sport, but seems to eat more normally now, when I see him.
My other twin d seems fine, but completely over it.
I feel like a complete failure having 2 children with food related disorders at the same time. I have not sought specialist help for him yet as too overwhelmed with AN d stuff. Although he has agreed to see psychologist now, and we have had one session mainly about what it is like to cope with AN sister.
In the meantime psychiatrist apt today for d.
So much going on, my head is spinning!!
You are so right, I actually have the framework for balanced eating set in place. I am going to take him to a ED specialist GP as I think mine will be too judgemental. I will also take him to the dietician to get his very own plan. Think he feels like he is overlooked, and in reality, often is. He is anxiety based too, and maybe I can get school psychologist to work with that while the dietician and I focus on food. I have given him a hard time about it as I thought it was boy growth type behaviours and a problem with lies. I am going to have to chat to the other kids as they have often teased him for being a big eater.
So, in short, I am not reinventing the wheel, thanks mimi321, just adding another passenger. I wonder how each will support the other through their meal plans?
I will have to look at changing my work times to be home for afternoon snack time as it is a loophole for both.
Luckily, I have good friends, and my partner who stays in the background at food times, but is right there whenever I need a good cry, glass of vino or movie!