Hello all. So my D was hospitalised in October 2019 for a week. She was orthostatic, blood was all over the place. It was a trying ordeal to get her there. We had to call police and EMT and have her driven to ER.
Prior to this she was a healthy weight , then gained a bunch of weight over puberty, prob felt badly as many of her peers were slim 12 - 14 year olds.
We noticed that she was starting to skip breakfast at home, but we weren’t too worried as she ate lunch and then had a really good heavy snack when she came home and had dinner and ate throughout the evening after that. Fast forward to the summer when we spent a lot of time with her and then she would only really eat afternoon snack and dinner. We spoke with her at length about the proper nutrition, and caring for her body properly. You guys know the drill !
so anyway she started high school in September, meals totally dropped off, we continued the nutrition talk but she really wasn’t eating anything at all. And plus ended up being hospitalised in October. All throughout this she refused to believe that she had a problem. After the week in the hospital, which she fully complied with every single meal she had gained a good amount of weight, and was WR around November / December which is fantastic work on her part.
She has dipped up and down a few pounds and they want her holding steady
The problems we are now facing :
She wants more freedom to eat with friends ( she eats snack in nurses office and lunch in an alternative lunch room that has monitoring.)
She wants to be able to pick what she eats
She wants to do more exercise ( she’s currently doing Track 2 times a week, more for social aspect than getting fit to be honest )
She is isolating herself , locking herself in her room all the time.
She’s not accepting that she has an ED She said that she was doing something that felt ok at the time , was eating what made her feel good and went to far and got sick She has thrown around the vegetarian/ vegan thoughts to us .... we shut them down by saying that’s not what a growing person needs
She’s very angry , won’t talk with us unless pushed to do so. This is not how she was prior. She was very angry for 4 days in Hospital, but then came around.
She is just a seething bag of explosives...
this is not our daughter. She was so carefree and happy go lucky. Full of corny jokes and fun last year.
Here is the KICKER !!!
She has found herself a boyfriend who is 17 !!!😱 He’s a senior in HS. We gathered this info from older D who told us. My husband and I are not comfortable with this. We would not be ok with her having any aged boyfriend. AN D denies it.
My Mama Bear signal is going OFF!
I think that my D had low self esteem, bad body image , wanted to fit in , and lost weight in order to feel better about herself She gained attention for it .... some negative, some
of her friends told her that she was AN back in September/ October and that pissed her off. But I’m sure she had a lot of positive attention which felt good.
So now onto yet another poor self image / bad choice. This 17 year old.
Please let me know your thoughts and strategies with coping with this. I’m sorry it’s long and all over the place.