F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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Scaredmom2019
Just trying to gauge if we are at a "normal" and expected place.

Lunch today- she asks to get hamburgers and fries. Great! She evens says "I'm hungry!" as we waited for food to come. Eats lunch swiftly with no prompting. Yogurt ice cream with candies after. 

Later I leave to pick up other kid and provide with a few options for snack. I return an hour later and she "forgot " about snack. Ok. Fine. I make up a piece of lefsa with plenty of butter and sugar along with a cup of juice. No issues eating it (well minus eye rolls).

Mention dinner and what she might like and the answer is "nothing" which is typical but I will be making pasta shortly and she will eat it.

Is this much change in ability/desire to eat normal? We are 10 weeks into refeeding. Maybe I'm expecting too much?

On the flipside, I see she is still wearing crop tops and tight leggings (now 15 lbs weight increase) which I THINK is a good thing? Not too worried about changing body? Also makes comments like, "well if I'm going to eat more and get bigger, hopefully my butt will get better". 

NOW I hate the focus on body but shes 17 and I feel like for a kid recovering from RAN, these are realistic and actually "positive" comments?? 

It is exhausting having to analyze and overanalyze everything! Thank God for all of you!!
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Torie
Wow, that sounds amazing!  Really great progress.

The only thing I wonder about is supervision - sometimes when things seem to be going swimmingly (and your report is definitely in that category) ED has found a loophole and the snack that was supposedly eaten has been stashed in a pocket, fed to the dog, etc.

Other than that caveat, this sounds about as good as you could hope for.  Thanks for the happy report! xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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MKR
Hi @Scaredmom2019,

Wow, this willing eating makes such a huge difference to mealtimes!  

But what is it about big behinds nowadays?  My D's focus has switched to muscular thighs and glutes. I know the ED is still there because those are still body thoughts. 
Mum's Kitchen

14-y-o "healthy living" led to AN in 2017 and WR at 16. Current muscle dysmorphia.
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Scaredmom2019
MKR- and is it realistic to have NO body thoughts? I dont know anyone that is like that. No one. I wish she wasn't still focused on body (larger butt) however I'll take it..for now. 

Thank you Torie! She close to WR and due to lessening thoughts of ED I am relaxing a bit on the strict 3 meals and 3 snacks BUT I am supervising food intake of some sort every three hours AND I'm counting calories to ensure we are still in gain territory. She is WR but I'm happy with a good more 5 lbs. I'm less anxious about the FAST weight gain as I got her back to WR with speed. Hope I'm doing the right thing.

Trying to focus more of our energy on building a life worth living. Making friends, finding a job and having just moments of joy. I think she needs this more than almost anything. 
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ValentinaGermania
No all ED patients have that body checking problem. Some do not even have body dysmorphia. I think it was deenls son who never had that.

"Mention dinner and what she might like and the answer is "nothing" which is typical but I will be making pasta shortly and she will eat it."

Try not to ask. To make decisions and to say what they want is something for later time in recovery.

"Is this much change in ability/desire to eat normal? We are 10 weeks into refeeding. Maybe I'm expecting too much?"

Yes 😁. 10 weeks in is really early days...
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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deenl

Hi Scaredmom2019,

Tina is right, my son did not have any body dysmorphia or any concerns about his looks but ansognosia caused him to underestimate how ill he was. I find the illness has common symptoms but no patient is exactly the same as another. So if your daughter seems to be happy eating on a different trajectory than others that could just be her path to recovery. Obviously, trust your own gut. If it feels real to you then I would be inclined to believe this is her path but obviously with the safety net of you continuing to supervise and only very slowly handing over control etc. 

Trying to focus more of our energy on building a life worth living. Making friends, finding a job and having just moments of joy. I think she needs this more than almost anything. 


This sounds so perfect as a goal. The other stuff, you will deal with, I am very sure of that. I found humour to be a great way to get an idea accross without making it into a big deal and I was imagining myself saying something nonsensical like "butt, smutt" to indicate my disapproval without causing a fight. I would take the teenage eye rolls it would cause any day. ðŸ™„ ðŸ˜„

You are doing great.

D

 

2015 12yo son restricting but no body image issues, no fat phobia; lost weight IP! Oct 2015 home, stable but no progress. Medical hosp to kick start recovery Feb 2016. Slowly and cautiously gaining weight at home and seeing signs of our real kid.

May 2017 Hovering around WR. Mood great, mostly. Building up hour by hour at school after 18 months at home. Summer 2017 Happy, first trip away in years, food variety, begin socialising. Sept 2017, back to school FT first time in 2 years. [thumb] 2018 growing so fast hard to keep pace with weight
  • Swedish proverb: Love me when I least deserve it because that's when I need it most.
  • We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence Recovery, then, is not an act but a habit. Aristotle.
  • If the plan doesn't work, change the plan but never the goal.
  • We cannot control the wind but we can direct the sail.
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