F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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linefine
Just struck me yesterday of the irony of a situation where my husband (bowel disorder) and daughter (ARFID), who both desperately need to gain weight, are either just maintaining their too low weights, or actually losing some, while I, who definitely do NOT need any more, am gaining weight.......

Something wrong somewhere!
Heather

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always PROTECTS, always TRUSTS, always HOPES, always PERSEVERES. Love never fails.
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Sotired
Oh I hear that!
Sotired42
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Torie
Yet another club within a club ... with many members, I'm afraid. Count me in. xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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Honey_Badger
Oh yes!
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deenl
Right there with you!

D
2015 12yo son restricting but no body image issues, no fat phobia; lost weight IP! Oct 2015 home, no progress. Medical hosp to kick start recovery Feb 2016. Slowly gaining at home, seeing signs of our real kid.

May 2017 Hovering around WR. Mood great, mostly. Summer 2017 Happy, first trip away in years, food variety, begin socialising. Sept 2017, back to school FT first time in 2 years. 2018 growing so fast hard to keep pace with weight. 2020 Off to university, healthy and happy.
  • Swedish proverb: Love me when I least deserve it because that's when I need it most.
  • We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence Recovery, then, is not an act but a habit. Aristotle.
  • If the plan doesn't work, change the plan but never the goal.
  • We cannot control the wind but we can direct the sail.
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K63
Am a member of that club too have moved up a full size and would be afraid to have my cholesterol checked but we hope it will be worth it all in the end and then we can look after ourselves again.
Daughter started restricting in February 2014, tried re feeding at home hospital admission 4 1/2 months weight restored started restricting post discharge, back on meal plan full supervision weight restored april 2016. Starting to hand back responsibility for meals it's scary. 
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ooKoo
Me too.  It doesn't feel good.  Hey ho....time for me a bit further down the road, I guess......

I did think about cutting way back on food when I am not with my D, but then it struck me that that would be dieting in secret......and we all know where that leads......[rolleyes]
UK - South East

19 yo D

Dx AN Feb 2015 (Aged 15). Pre-existing low self-esteen and high anxiety. 

2015: 3 x medical hospital admissions. 1 month in IP which she self discharged from [eek].
2016: 3 x hospital admissions. 
2017: CAMHS CBT. WR, dropped out of 2 different colleges and started an apprenticeship.  Started having grand mal seizures and was diagnosed with epilepsy in Nov 2017. Sacked from job because of this.  Tribunal ensued.
2018 - doing a Psychology degree through Open University and working in retail to pay her way in life. Relapses with eating disorder in June 18 and Nov 18 😢. 

On particularly rough days when I am sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good. [Author Unknown]
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Playball40
Count me on that bench.  On a good note, my daughter did convince me to quit smoking.  It's been 3 months.
Caroline
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Calm_USA
Oh yeah!  Actually, now that my d is in solid recovery and away at university I decided it was time to address me.  The program I am advised me to track my food and activity.  Honey, I've spent months adding up caloric values in my head.  I don't need a program to do that!  A little PTSD for sure.  I will say it is nice to have time now to actually go for walks. Hang in there all of you.  You will get to this point tot!!
Mom of a 19 yr old. RAN diagnosed 1/2014. Residential, PHP, IOP. W/R since late summer 2014. Now in remission and thriving in her second year at university. My Faith remains.
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I_can
What does CAMHS or those initials approxiamately mean?
Deb
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Elodie
Deb21352 wrote:
What does CAMHS or those initials approxiamately mean?


Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services
Daughter diagnosed RAN aged 13. Several IP admissions. Severe relapse aged 18. Major psychological turning point but morphed into BED, depression and anxiety. Overall much better now but still some bumps along the way, now aged 34.
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Elodie
Another member here. Went through stages where I looked positively haggard with the strain and worry (I'm sure you can all relate), but mainly there's been a rounding out effect .... Xx
Daughter diagnosed RAN aged 13. Several IP admissions. Severe relapse aged 18. Major psychological turning point but morphed into BED, depression and anxiety. Overall much better now but still some bumps along the way, now aged 34.
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linefine
Elodie wrote:
Another member here. Went through stages where I looked positively haggard with the strain and worry (I'm sure you can all relate), but mainly there's been a rounding out effect .... Xx


Some days I manage to look haggard AND rounded!
Heather

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always PROTECTS, always TRUSTS, always HOPES, always PERSEVERES. Love never fails.
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ed_newbie
Yup, count me in!   I'm 7 pounds heavier from when this all started a few months ago.  Barely any time for exercise nor do I want my d to see me exercising or eating less as she definitely takes note of my behaviors.  

So when she brings me an ice cream cone to match her own, how can I say no?  And I must say I enjoy every lick!  

"Lineage, personality and environment may shape you, but they do not define your full potential."    Mollie Marti  

ed_newbie

15 yr old d diagnosed with AN late December 2015 at the age of 12 after a 23 lb weight loss during prior 3 months. Started FBT/Maudsley at home on Christmas Eve with support from amazing local nutritionist specializing in ED and trained in FBT. WR Feb 2016 and pushing our way through puberty and rapid growth.
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iHateED
I totally understand.  I gained 20 pounds while refeeding my daughter.  I tried to be kind to myself and just understand that me gaining weight was a small price to pay for saving my D's life.   Now that she is healthy and away at college, I am making time to get my health matters under control.    

Be kind to yourself [smile]
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Elena
Yep, another club I didn't want to be part of.  I almost think people must laugh when they see my d and myself together, as I am short and chubby, and becoming chubbier, and my d is, well, anorexic.  Maybe they think I keep all the good food for myself and starve her?  But, really, does it matter what others think? There are many worse things in life than being overweight, such a shame I can't get my d to see that. 
Here is a quote: "Women who carry a little extra weight tend to live longer than men who comment on it."
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deenl
[rofl] Love the quote.

D
2015 12yo son restricting but no body image issues, no fat phobia; lost weight IP! Oct 2015 home, no progress. Medical hosp to kick start recovery Feb 2016. Slowly gaining at home, seeing signs of our real kid.

May 2017 Hovering around WR. Mood great, mostly. Summer 2017 Happy, first trip away in years, food variety, begin socialising. Sept 2017, back to school FT first time in 2 years. 2018 growing so fast hard to keep pace with weight. 2020 Off to university, healthy and happy.
  • Swedish proverb: Love me when I least deserve it because that's when I need it most.
  • We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence Recovery, then, is not an act but a habit. Aristotle.
  • If the plan doesn't work, change the plan but never the goal.
  • We cannot control the wind but we can direct the sail.
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Elizabeth_A
I am definitely a member of the club! It is impossible to secretly diet when my daughter is not around and it seems essential to eat more than her at each meal. Will do whatever it takes to make her eat and that is my main motivation right now. However I don't think other people understand how difficult it is - people not involved with Anorexia, that is.
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