F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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Alessandra
My daughter will geht tomorrow a tattoo. I said, that we now have an argument. Last week I was with her by her therapist. He told her that he stops the therapie when she looses weight, she became 3 kilo plus. 
How do I have to react to the tatoo?
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Foodsupport_AUS
How you react is entirely up to you. As she is an adult, even though ill, you would be hard pressed to stop this if that is your wish. I would ask her what she wants to get and why, what it means to her. How she will feel about it in five or ten years time? Does she see any negatives for getting it? 

She may still choose to go ahead but will hopefully at least of considered the options. If she does then supporting her is likely to be the best way forward since there are already many other issues. In the scheme of things the tattoo is minor. 
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13. Initially weight restored 2012. Relapse and continuously edging towards recovery. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
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MKR
Hi @Alessandra,

It is great that your daughter has the awareness that her attitude to food is not right. (Mine is still in denial)  Best to use this opportunity while she is aware to work as a team, together.

Young people and tattoos...  I agree that you should maybe try to find out the reasons behind wanting to get a tattoo.  It should not be to annoy you.  Maybe show indifference (fake it, if you must) so it may loose the appeal ðŸ˜•. Try to focus on her qualities, which she no doubt has plenty of, that do not need to be enhanced with any body ink. You are on her side â¤.

All the best,
Mum's Kitchen

14-y-o "healthy living" led to AN in 2017 and WR at 16. Current muscle dysmorphia.
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Alessandra
I know, how Importamt I am for her but I am tired to be kind to her. I said to her , my friendship ends with the tattoo but she did it. I don't know how to spend the next days.
I just want to awoid seeing her.
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Alessandra
Last week we were by her psychotherapist together and everything seemed okay. She added 3 kg, because her therapist threated her to pur her in the hospital by forced briefing. I am very tired of that all.
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ValentinaGermania
I can imagine how tired you are but please do not give up because of that tattoo. Try to just ignore it and go ahead. It is not important in the end. It is only important that she eats.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Alessandra
Thank you for your answere, I will try.
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Alessandra
Since three weeks my daughter is in hospital because akut anorexia and because depression. She wants to become healthy but I don't know, what I have to change, that she can stay healthy when she is home again.
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Torie
Hello Alessandra, 

Have you seen the thread "Informationen über FBT und Maudsley Therapie auf Deutsch" by ValentinaGermania?  I think you could find a lot of helpful information there.

https://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post/informationen-%C3%BCber-fbt-und-maudsley-therapie-auf-deutsch-9514879

xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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Foodsupport_AUS
I am sorry that your D is  in hospital. There is no one way to deal with our children on discharge. Some things that I found helpful were :

Maintain the hospital schedule of meals and snacks - it is just hospital at home
Be prepared to spend lots of time after meals with distractions and if possible before meals, supervising meals just as in hospital
Hearing D's anxiety and standing firmly that she still needed to eat
Problem solving here when issues came up. 

I hope they are helping her to move forward. 
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13. Initially weight restored 2012. Relapse and continuously edging towards recovery. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
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