F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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Faddywrite
Hi guys,

After trying to get out of it last night mu daughter finally ate one scoop of ice cream. She really enjoyed the taste, but I'm wondering because this is such a terrifying food for her, should I maybe focus on repeating ice cream this week and not make her try another fear food? I was thinking of doing a macaroni cheese later in the week as she struggles with that, but I really want to encourage her to have another scoop of ice cream mid week to keep the momentum up.
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tina72
Why not do both when she enjoyed the ice-cream???
Do not be afraid of something ED is afraid of....🙂
It is normal to eat ice-cream AND macaroni cheese...show her that there is no reason to fear that food by showing her that you are not afraid to serve it. If needed 7 times a week!
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Faddywrite
Thanks Tina, yes why not. I was worried that it would be too much as she was so anxious about the ice cream, but you are right, I should do both and show her thT she has no need to be afraid of ice cream or cheese and butter!
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tina72
It is a learning process by exposition. She is afraid of something, you show her she can do it and there is no need to be afraid of it. You help her to do it again and again until she sees herself that there is no need to be afraid of ice cream and cheese and butter. YOU are her mirror. If you think she can do it she will believe that too. Go for both this week and keep posting how you are doing, we are very interested in her progress. You are doing really great!
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Ellesmum
I agree with Tina, actually ice cream was one of the first foods I tackled on a day out, d was terrified at the sight of the huge cornet with flake I bought us both on a day out.  She now eats it happily, and has eaten whole tubs of Ben and Jerries during very hungry days.   

It it will get easier every time she eats some and the anxiety lessens. Now I think of it our ice cream day was the first day in months d had a proper, full lunch at a restaurant.  
Ellesmum
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Faddywrite
Wow that's amazing, so glad your daughter now loves ice cream again! I think my daughter had one ice cream on holiday last year and waited all week to have it! Since then she has barely touched it, but I now really want her to enjoy a proper ice cream from a van or a huge ice cream sundae eventually! I will carry on serving it this week then next time e are out and see an ice cream van or stall, we will get her one. I just find this so hard because she is so anxious about eating these things and begs me not to make her. 
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Ellesmum
That's what the illness does, problem is if we try to appease the beast,  before we know it they won't eat anything.  

If your daughter loved ice cream before ED came calling then deep down she'll want you to give her permission to eat it.  It's so hard but very necessary 
Ellesmum
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deenl
Hi Faddywrite,

Well done on supporting her to eat ice cream.

Here is a lovely article on why it is important to introduce variety into the menu when refeeding. It may help you to maintain your courage to know the good reasons for doing this difficult job.

Keep up the good work,

D
2015 12yo son restricting but no body image issues, no fat phobia; lost weight IP! Oct 2015 home, stable but no progress. Medical hosp to kick start recovery Feb 2016. Slowly and cautiously gaining weight at home and seeing signs of our real kid.

May 2017 Hovering around WR. Mood great, mostly. Building up hour by hour at school after 18 months at home. Summer 2017 Happy, first trip away in years, food variety, begin socialising. Sept 2017, back to school FT first time in 2 years. [thumb] 2018 growing so fast hard to keep pace with weight
  • Swedish proverb: Love me when I least deserve it because that's when I need it most.
  • We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence Recovery, then, is not an act but a habit. Aristotle.
  • If the plan doesn't work, change the plan but never the goal.
  • We cannot control the wind but we can direct the sail.
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tina72
Faddywrite wrote:
I just find this so hard because she is so anxious about eating these things and begs me not to make her. 


Read scaredmoms thread about ED language. Normally when they beg you not to make them eat something that means that they desperatly want to eat it but ED does not allow it and they need you to make them eat it to be allowed to have it. "Anything but fries" meant here "please serve fries tomorrow".
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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mamabear
Faddy- 

the anxiety is going to be there no matter what. My attitude is why make the anxiety last longer and longer and have to be repeated a hundred times over every time a fear food enters? 

I would give her ice cream today. Different flavor, on a piece of dessert, in a sundae, in a malt... AND make Mac and cheese. 

The more you repeat things and add and repeat the easier it will get. 

Im a big fan of ripping of the bandaid. It’s gonna suck no matter what. You can slowly pull the band aid off feeling each hair or you can just go for it. 
Persistent, consistent vigilance!
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Mamaroo
To get over the fear of something, one needs to be exposed to it over and over again. When we challenged fear food (and in our case, every food was a fear food) we needed to give her the fear food every day for at least 5 days before she was able to eat it without putting up too much of a struggle. So in your case, I would keep on serving a scoop of ice cream every day or every second day. See how it goes in terms of her anxiety and then you can decide whether to introduce another fear food.
D became obsessed with exercise at age 9 and started eating 'healthy' at age 9.5. Restricting couple of months later. IP for 2 weeks at age 10. Slowly refed for months on Ensures alone, followed by swap over with food at a snails pace. WR after a year at age 11 in March 2017. View my recipes on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKLW6A6sDO3ZDq8npNm8_ww
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