F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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Pingu
So surgery finished so can now start Deling a bit more with the IP unit. Will visit next week and not get so upset if she’s not that bothered . She’s gained another kg and threatens hunger strike
My problem is that she’s relatively compliant and I think that’s so she can get out and start restricting again
Anyone else’s young person some this?
Thanks all
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deenl
Hi Pingu,

Great to have the surgery behind you. Dealing with ED is difficult enough but especially trying when you are frazzled with pain.

Eating enough to get out is common. I would check the history on the computers/laptops and phones. This is a tactic often discussed on pro anna websites.

It doesn't really matter why she eats, just that she does. Sometimes there's enough improvement in thought patterns before they come home. It's a strange illness where the distress at gaining weight decreases as weight increases.

Transfer to home will, without doubt, be a vulnerable time. The thing to do is plan plan, plan. Start as you mean to go on and plan, together with the IP team, for likely hiccups. But I think that is some time away for you. Use your op as an excuse to keep her IP as long as poss. and try not to worry too much before you need to.

One practical thing you can do as your health improves is to stock the freezer with nutritionally dense food. It will be one thing off your plate for when she does come home.

Good luck with your recuperation.

Warm wishes

D
2015 12yo son restricting but no body image issues, no fat phobia; lost weight IP! Oct 2015 home, stable but no progress. Medical hosp to kick start recovery Feb 2016. Slowly and cautiously gaining weight at home and seeing signs of our real kid.

May 2017 Hovering around WR. Mood great, mostly. Building up hour by hour at school after 18 months at home. Summer 2017 Happy, first trip away in years, food variety, begin socialising. Sept 2017, back to school FT first time in 2 years. [thumb] 2018 growing so fast hard to keep pace with weight
  • Swedish proverb: Love me when I least deserve it because that's when I need it most.
  • We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence Recovery, then, is not an act but a habit. Aristotle.
  • If the plan doesn't work, change the plan but never the goal.
  • We cannot control the wind but we can direct the sail.
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Foodsupport_AUS
Eating to get out is definitely a strategy that ED uses. Things that can done to help work through this is looking at transitions for home, in particular having a clear contract and consequences for not eating at home. The higher weight she is when she gets home the more likely she is to be thinking clearer and the more likely you will be able to keep things going at home. My D was a very slow learner for avoiding hospitalisation, most kids get it faster - eating well and gaining at home equals staying out. Not eating, losing weight equals readmission.
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
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Kali
Hi Pingu,

Glad your surgery is behind you and hope you will heal quickly and well. 
It is also good news that she has gained a kg. Hoping more weight gain is in her immediate future.

The unit my d. was in had found, through careful research and compiling data on their patients, that restoring someone with AN to at least a bmi of 20.5 and then keeping them maintaining that weight for at least 6 weeks on the unit after that, led to a higher rate of eventual remission. That did not mean that my d. didn't try to lose weight a few months after she came home, but by that time there was lots of good meal support at home so we were able to help prevent drastic weight loss. Reading around ATDT really helped me to become a better meal support and help support her when she got out.

warmly,

Kali


Food=Love
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scaredmom
So glad the surgery went well and that you can move forward.
Understanding that D may want to restrict when home, I think is a good information for you. It could help you get armed for what you need to do when she is discharged back to your care. The more info you have the better prepared you can be.
I agree with everyone  above on all points.
Hope they get her weight up a lot and that helps her brain and that she will "forget" about restricting when she gets home, but in any case, you will be well prepared by reading a lot here.  I know others with that experience will chime in as well.
All the best for a speedy recovery,
XXX
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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tina72
Hi pingu,

I am glad that the surgery went well and you are now collecting your power again. But please do it slowly and care for yourself first!

Threatening with hunger strike is something IP will not accept hopefully and set a NG tube asap. If that happens once I think the threatening will be finished.
When she comes home try to make the IP team tell YOU in front of HER that you have to bring her back asap to get a NG tube if she threatens with refusing food again.

I hope you have a good recovery soon!
Tina72
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Nicstar4
Glad surgery went well, and hope that some food in and weight gain will help overall.
Kali, I wish every IP would be as thorough, as I am sure that the more stable, the less likely to relapse!
Pingu, are you able to discuss weigh restore to growth curve, or do they only do BMI.
Don’t forget to ease into daily life after sugery and keep looking after yourself!
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