F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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Amoma Show full post »
momon
Hi Playball

We have really been struggling also with my d just beginning puberty. I am cooking super  hi cal now. Using only recipes off the hi cal thread, or a cystic fibrosis site, or things I am sure of from my personal repertoire and adding in sides such as garlic bread, sweet potatoes with butter hammered in, double baked potatoes, coleslaw or carrot salad with mayo, rice made with coconut milk, etc. I couldn't really get her weight up doing that, amazingly, as mine sure is. That is why I am battling to add in a milkshake. It is a desperation move.  Can you add in a daily shake or hi cal smoothie? 

You will see on this list that mamabear's family had to do super hi cal to get gain through puberty. It does happen with some.  It DOES NOT mean you are ineffective, it means you have a challenging situation.  

We also have growth curve all over the place and I suspect early restricting in childhood as she got very sad when her first bro went to college. Sounds like we are in same situation, it makes it harder to know goal when you can't look at a consistent curve.  Also  I suspect, as happened with some other kiddos, that a return to historic curve won't bring health, she needs to be higher. But higher isn't coming easy.  Also let me say if I were getting a half pound a week, and I weren't in the refeeding stage, I'd feel pretty good about that!!!! Good for you!

You are doing it, it's just a hard road. Note that we have been at this since March 2013. It is no surprise that your d still needs a lot of support as it just takes a long while.
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schnook
Do you know if she's eating anything at school? And can you add a daily supper shake? You asked if there's a way to push this to the next level - that's where I'd be looking to go next.
Working hard at meal support and WR for an anxious and food avoidant 6yo
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schnook
S' fever has broken, but the missed meals from yesterday have made today's feeding utter Hell. I barely got any breakfast in him, then lunch took four hours. FOUR HOURS. For a bacon wrap. Tried to get a supplement drink in him a little while after lunch and was met with yelling, angry tears, hitting the drink away and into me, and ultimately complete refusal. I tried all the tricks I knew to no avail, so decided to remove it and give a squeezy yoghurt instead. He's still working on that one, while I have dinner in the oven.

Gosh I hope dinner goes smoothly. We're both so very tired after his fever last night. I need to just get this in him and get him to bed.

Send me strength!
Working hard at meal support and WR for an anxious and food avoidant 6yo
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Torie
Strength and hugs headed your way.

Hang in there. You can do it!

xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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Sotired
Strength,a hug and a box of virtual chocolates.you will get through this.hold the line...
Sotired42
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schnook
Dinner went OK. It was smooth but verrrry slow . He got a decent amount in, then started refusing after two hours of sitting at the table, so I sent him to brush teeth and get PJs on and took him straight to bed. It was an optimistic quantity of food on the plate, and I'm happy enough with the amount he ate.

Here's to tomorrow. I have a plan.
Working hard at meal support and WR for an anxious and food avoidant 6yo
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schnook
We've been working at breakfast for a good 2.5 hours now. About halfway through.

Sorry for the meal by meal updates, I'm just at a complete loss for where to go from here. He's losing weight before my eyes, and I don't know how to turn this around.
Working hard at meal support and WR for an anxious and food avoidant 6yo
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Sotired
What does the doctor involved in your sons care feel?because that's pretty much your whole day taken up with refeeding .thats not uncommon but as you are on your own,may be unsustainable.this is only an idea, it may not be what you want to do at all,but could your son be fed by Ng tube at the hospital for a couple of weeks whilst also eating some food.im sure this has to happen with kids who are younger,it's how my smallboy was fed initially after he was born.all I cared about was getting something into my wee one and maybe it's the easiest way to achieve it for now for you.with a bit of weight on him done this way the battles might be less at home as his brain starts to function better.he could have the feed running at night which would make it easier too.perhaps you could stay with him,I met many parents that stayed and some like myself who came in for as much of the time as they could manage as they had other kids,as I do,at home. Mull it over.talk with your doctor.see what provisions there are for you to stay with him.but the most important thing is to get the food in and if as you say he is fading away,then that would be the next step I would take.sometimes it's about kick starting the process in hospital and then continuing the work at home.kind thoughts your way,this is so hard anyway,must be even harder with a wee one,
Sotired42
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schnook
Last time we were at the Dr's his weight and height were both up, and mealtimes were hard but manageable. I really thought that I would just keep feeding, and he would keep gaining.

I'll call the Dr tomorrow and get us in as soon as I can. We need a plan B, even if only for the sake of having a plan B.
Working hard at meal support and WR for an anxious and food avoidant 6yo
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YogurtParfait_US
Schnook, I forgot how old your son is--have you tried incentives for faster eating?

Hang in there! Love the goal of bigger portions. You'll get there!

Playball--I know it is so hard to see others progressing when one feels one's own kid isn't. Hang in there. Keep on feeding, and figuring out to get in larger portions and plug leaks sounds important to me. 

Sending warm support to you both!
"Hope is a wonderful thing ... but hope by itself is not enough. Hope is the reason to take action, to make a plan and then to change the plan when it isn’t working - over and over and over again if necessary." Hannah Joseph (Let's Feast Friday Reflection, "Just Keep Going," Friday, March 3rd, 2015)
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schnook
He's 6, YP.

The only incentive which has resulted in faster eating has been when I've parked near a playground and required him to eat before playing. I stopped doing that because it was still taking well over an hour per meal, and I worried that the time at the playground would result in energy loss beyond what the food was worth anyway. BUT he was gaining when we were doing this, so maybe the output wasn't such a big deal. I'll try it again.
Working hard at meal support and WR for an anxious and food avoidant 6yo
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schnook
We got all of dinner in tonight!!! Here's hoping that the last few days have been merely a blip, and not a new downwards trend. Still intending to make a plan b, but desperately hoping not to need it.
Working hard at meal support and WR for an anxious and food avoidant 6yo
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schnook
You know those days when you just want to tip their cereal in their hair, or run away, or drug them and tube them on a whim in the middle of the night? And instead you cuddle them to sleep and start planning meals for tomorrow?

It's been one of those days.
Working hard at meal support and WR for an anxious and food avoidant 6yo
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schnook
If folks here don't mind sharing, how much weight did your young kid gain each week during WR? How much was required in total? Did you stall often, or were the gains fairly consistent?
Working hard at meal support and WR for an anxious and food avoidant 6yo
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Sotired
Oh dear schnook,
Sounds like you had a long day.how is plan b shaping up?any progress in sorting that out so you have it there as a plan if you need it?it helps to know sometimes that there is another way if things are getting unsustainable at home.its not about the 'threat' of hospital, it's about 'this is what's best for you for now' if that's what it comes to.its hard at any age but at least you have the power in your hands to make the decisions for him.to be able to look after your child effectively is a wonderful thing.i miss it greatly! Do try and make a couple of plans with your gp, it helps to know that if A doesn't work we can try B.if B doesn't work we can try C.there is more than one way and it's good to know what those options are.
A big hug to you hon,on a rough day we need them(and a glass of wine...some chocolate...[smile])
Sotired42
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schnook
It was a lonnnnng day. No meals finished, but I guess in total a substantial amount went in. The scales will tell!

Sotired, your cyberhug made me cry. Thank you for your kindness.

No progress on plan b because of the public holiday here. I expect we'll be referred to Westmead, so hopefully someone who knows what they're talking about will be guiding our plans. I'm terrified that professionals will think I've been neglecting and starving him. I guess anybody spending a mealtime with him will quickly be disabused of this notion, though. Bleurrrgh I hate talking to Drs.
Working hard at meal support and WR for an anxious and food avoidant 6yo
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YogurtParfait_US
Schnook,

My daughter was itty bitty, age 7 1/2, short, 35-ish pounds (something like 2nd or 3rd percentile height and 12th percentile weight). WR took 6 weeks at two pounds per week and got her up to 47-ish pounds (50th percentile weight).

I used a lot of incentives. I didn't use a treasure box (which some moms of little ones have found effective), but used activities, scheduled things near meals, etc. It was SUMMER, so it would be, "We're heading to the beach right after lunch. Kids who have finished their lunches get to go!" My daughter doesn't like to miss anything, so this was very effective. And, after WR and summer, she has remained motivated by her activities.

She also liked to be fed. I fed her a lot pre-WR, and even sometimes afterwards. She said it made it easier for her. By "a lot", I mean probably some time or another in each day, not necessarily for a whole meal. She responded well to silly baby-talk and pretending she was a baby.

I also made meals very calorie-dense. Heavy whipping in the scrambled eggs and in her chocolate milk, french toast, casseroles, etc. I enriched HER portions, not the entire families.

And, she was often fed separately at a different table.

Sending warm support!
"Hope is a wonderful thing ... but hope by itself is not enough. Hope is the reason to take action, to make a plan and then to change the plan when it isn’t working - over and over and over again if necessary." Hannah Joseph (Let's Feast Friday Reflection, "Just Keep Going," Friday, March 3rd, 2015)
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schnook
YP, could you tell me more about treasure box incentives, please? I ran a search but couldn't find an explanation.

No incentives are working at present. The best meals involve s distracting himself by doing a few things at once (Lego, Minecraft, listening to music or an audio book), while I spoon/hand feed him. Sometimes he runs away so I take a break and try again in 20 min or so. That seems to work better than persevering at the table, though it means that it all takes soooo many hours from our days.

He's lost weight - 300g this week. Making a plan with Westmead, and seeing GP for regular monitoring.

Can't believe we're here.
Working hard at meal support and WR for an anxious and food avoidant 6yo
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schnook
We had an experience today which I've been reflecting on, and putting into perspective.

S had a blood test. First needle ever. I prepared him well and he was super cool and compliant and didn't try to avoid it - didn't even cry!

First I thought, "Hey I must have some hella parenting-anxious-kid skills to have supported him so well through that!" : D

Then, "Oh but it's still so hard for him to eat and I don't think my love and affirmations are enough." [frown]

And now, "Wow. Food is scarier than a needle in the arm."
Working hard at meal support and WR for an anxious and food avoidant 6yo
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schnook
Went back to GP for results of the blood test. All fine. No markers for coeliac. Got a printout of results for paed so we don't have to do it again.

Same clinic but different GP. Much better experience. She asked s if he gets tummy aches (no), and told him he needs to eat more. This was not news to him lol. He was very composed, and responded with, "well a few days ago I ate all the food my mum gave me, so that's a start." GP was like, "well yes! That's a very good start!"
*turns to me* "So yes, best you see the specialists."
Working hard at meal support and WR for an anxious and food avoidant 6yo
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mamabear
This needs to be seen by many newer folks...
Persistent, consistent vigilance!
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meadow
Thanks mamabear x
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Torie
Bump
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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