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Campingbird Show full post »
Campingbird
The salt has now been hidden! 

Neither us or the current Dr’s have a record of her previous height/weight. But I’m just going to feed as much as I can and get some weight on her regardless.

The BF supervised of his own accord yesterday and I have no intention of that being the standard as it would kill the relationship they have which is a lovely one. 

Thanks for  the heads up regarding Camhs, having never dealt with them before I really have no idea about what they do and don’t do.


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Torie
You are making good progress already!

My d covered everything in pepper; others do mustard; yours has picked salt.  Maybe they feel more able to eat if it truly (objectively) tastes bad?  Dunno.

I agree with Ellesmum that it pays to be skeptical about claims of supervision by friends.  We experienced both - some of her friends were all about colluding with ED, while others were solidly on the side of angels.  I'm guessing the boyfriend is on the correct side, unless he himself is weird about food - most teen boys are hearty eaters who set a good example for our ED kids and would be unlikely to sympathize with ED.  Still, ED is ever so crafty so I know you will keep a weather eye out to make sure all is as it seems.

Keep up the good work! xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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Torie
[QUOTE username=Enn userid=4930637 postid=1310117049]You mention that you felt she needed to know you could trust her, I would reframe that a bit. You don’t and should not trust her as she is ill. That is the truth and she should know that in some way shape or form. If you said that right now her health is your main concern and until she gets better YOU can be trusted to take care of her, and so she will be supervised. That is a loving thing to do, when our child can’t  do it themselves. 
/QUOTE]
THis "you don't trust me" business can be a bit of a sticky wicket - I agree with Erin that a reframe might be useful.  I tried reasoning with my d about this but of course that was a fool's errand.  Someone here suggested saying "It's not that I don't trust you - it's just what I do." and then change the subject.  I was skeptical about that approach, but it turned out that it worked better than anything else I tried.

The reason I was saying this - the context - is that I required my d to use the bathroom before each meal / snack so that she could stay with me for at least an hour afterwards.  I was really glad the good folks here suggested that I do that because oh my gosh the trials and tribulations that ensue when they start purging.  It is worth a lot to prevent that.

Please continue to keep us posted. xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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Campingbird
D has already admitted to the Dr that she had been making herself sick 3-4 times a week (which probably means daily). Since taking over her meals I have also ensured that she spends the next hour with us.

tonight she truly hated me. I’ve been keeping it relatively safe in the evening with foods that I know she has eaten in the past 6 months. 
However tonight I thought to hell with it and presented her with half a pizza and made her eat it all. She had loads of homework to do so I took my book and sat in her room with her for An hour and a half and got the silent treatment.

Am I bothered... not at all. My D ate pizza! 
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Enn
That is the way to do it! Great job!
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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debra18
I think the salt is to make the food taste bad. My daughter ate her toast burned. And at one point would only eat blended mush.
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ValentinaGermania
Campingbird wrote:
D has already admitted to the Dr that she had been making herself sick 3-4 times a week (which probably means daily). Since taking over her meals I have also ensured that she spends the next hour with us.

tonight she truly hated me. I’ve been keeping it relatively safe in the evening with foods that I know she has eaten in the past 6 months. 
However tonight I thought to hell with it and presented her with half a pizza and made her eat it all. She had loads of homework to do so I took my book and sat in her room with her for An hour and a half and got the silent treatment.

Am I bothered... not at all. My D ate pizza! 


Here you go girl! Great! Pizza is a huge step!!!
I would suggest better watch her for 1,5 hours. Some can purge even later.
If she said it happens 3-4 times a week you can believe it happens more often. Double it at least. It is always not that less that they confess...

If you have no growth chart and docs do also, what about school? In some countries they get weighed at the school doctor regularly.
Is there a sibling that you have a growth chart from?
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Campingbird
Has been an odd few days here, after the joy of getting D to eat pizza and overall she has eaten everything I have put in front of her with minimal fuss just evil looks, my brain was thinking am I making too much of this. She is now refusing certain foods saying that she has never liked them so why would I give them to her in the first place. 
I said that we could sit down and compile a list of those foods so that I know what is a total no go for her at the moment. She is almost 16 and obviously wants some input which as a teenager is normal but is this wise or just feeding in to the ED control? Part of me thinks that it’s worth doing so that I know what foods definitely need introducing but I really don’t know what is best.
We have our first Camhs appt on Tuesday and I’m waiting for the appt to see the paediatric consultant, is this who diagnoses the actual ED? 
Although I haven’t been able to find a record of  previous weight/growth charts, by simply looking at our photos over the past year we can see that her major weight loss has happened in the past 2 months. Is it worth me printing these out to show dr’s/Camhs?
sorry for lots of questions again.
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Foodsupport_AUS
I think if you don't have growth charts, just letting them know when you think the most weight has been lost. Photos are so hard to work out and really it is more the history that is important from that. 

Good that they have managed to get you a CAMHS appointment. 

One thing that they  use in treatment centres is  a short list 3-5 foods that they have on their exclusion list. Everything else that you know that she has previously eaten is then theoretically in. It gives her some say but not a lot of control. Most things can easily be substituted. Foods cannot be food groups. 
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13. Initially weight restored 2012. Relapse and continuously edging towards recovery. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
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ValentinaGermania
My d was 17 at diagnose and we also had no charts. It helped me to look at photos 1 year before AN moved in to see where she needs to get back RE face and body. If you have nothing, photos are better than nothing.

We made the fear food list WITH our d but it was very stressy for her. All food that she liked to eat about 1 year before AN moved in has to be on that list. She does not need to eat stuff she never liked to eat in her life before ED. But if she loved chocolate and cake and liked pizza and burgers and fries this has to go to the list and needs to be worked down.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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sandie
In England kids are weighed reception and year 6 in schoolDon’t know about rest of uk and I got weights by contacting school nursing service. School gave me phone no. Of nurse.

The school nurse also had earlier measurements from when she was baby and measured by health visitor.

my D covered everything in sriracha sauce and hot chilli powder and reheated her food ridiculously frequently in microwave- about 10 times per meal. This wore off over some months. 


Courage is not the absence of despair; it is rather the capacity to move ahead in spite of despair
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Campingbird
Thanks Valentina, that’s really good to know from someone who has tried doing a list. 

Sandie, I thought I remembered that they got weighed at year 6, I have emailed the school nurse to ask if they have any info but still awaiting reply. 
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Enn
Campingbird wrote:
Has been an odd few days here, after the joy of getting D to eat pizza and overall she has eaten everything I have put in front of her with minimal fuss just evil looks, my brain was thinking am I making too much of this. She is now refusing certain foods saying that she has never liked them so why would I give them to her in the first place. 
I said that we could sit down and compile a list of those foods so that I know what is a total no go for her at the moment. She is almost 16 and obviously wants some input which as a teenager is normal but is this wise or just feeding in to the ED control? Part of me thinks that it’s worth doing so that I know what foods definitely need introducing but I really don’t know what is best.

I agree with Foodsupport here about limiting her list. In IP my d was given only two - 3 items that she could choose not to have. I can't even remember them to be honest and all foods that I serve the family were on the table, literally and figuratively.

We have our first Camhs appt on Tuesday and I’m waiting for the appt to see the paediatric consultant, is this who diagnoses the actual ED?

Usually, yes, that is how it worked here that the doctor (MD) not the therapist had the authority to make a proper diagnosis.I am hoping all goes well and you leave with a good plan to move forward. Let us know how it goes.  
Although I haven’t been able to find a record of  previous weight/growth charts, by simply looking at our photos over the past year we can see that her major weight loss has happened in the past 2 months. Is it worth me printing these out to show dr’s/Camhs?
sorry for lots of questions again.

I guess you could do that, but in all honesty, does it really matter how much weight she lost if she needs to gain a lot? We had no records from 5 years old and I think ED happened a long time prior to diagnosis, I questioned the pictures I had of her. I could not really distinguish between health or illness by the pictures from the year or two years previous. As I looked at them I felt sick, she likely was sick for two years before!! The goal is weight gain and more than you think right now. The state of her mind will let you know if you are on the right track for the weight gain. At 16, she will need to gain over time anyway. I know people want a target, and I did too, I guess it helps to set some goal, so when we achieve it there is a bit of relief and accomplishment. I know for me I was driven by that number and when it came and went, it was anticlimactic. She had to gain even more than that first target and still some now at 14.5 and diagnosed at just about 12. I find her thoughts telling and behaviours helpful to gauge if  more food was required or not . I think the historical weights can be helpful to set a minimum if anything. My d at 5 years old was at 25% for weight and now doing really well, she is at the 50% and a bit more.   Sorry I am digressing a bit here. 😊




Sending good thoughts your way that the weekend is as smooth as it can be and that she eats well!
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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Campingbird
Thanks Enn. 
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