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whenwillthisbeover
D has made great progress since we've started the FBT journey.  She's back on her growth curve and we've been working on extinguishing ED behaviors with decent success.  Her mind also seems to be coming back, but we hit a bump today which was EXTREMELY disappointing.  In speaking with some of D's teachers, I found out that she has been standing during most of her classes at school.  No one at school knows about her ED as she's asked me not to tell anyone, so teachers have allowed her to stand.  After learning this, I decided not to say anything to the school until after I speak with H and D to determine how we would handle this.  

After confronting D, she said she will work on it and not do anymore standing in school.  Obviously, I'm skeptical as standing has been something we've been working on from the beginning.  At home she sits during dinner and while doing HW, but generally avoids it.  I thought things were going so well and now I feel like a fool as ED has outsmarted me once again.

How should we handle this?  She's been able to extinguish other behaviors through consequences and goal setting but since i'm not at the school, how do I know if she's really sitting during class?  H suggested that we talk to the teachers about her needing to sit in class, but not necessarily say it's because to ED since honestly, most people just don't get it.  I've spent so much time trying to educate people like my mother-in-law and the reality is that people have a hard time getting it unless they've experienced it themselves.  Hell, I wouldn't get it either if I didn't have a D that was ill!  After a couple of weeks, we check in with the teachers to see if she's been sitting, and if she has, she's rewarded, if not, then there's a consequence.  Or something along those lines...

I welcome any suggestions from this knowledgeable forum on how to deal with this one. Thanks in advance and sorry for the long vent!  
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Enn
Wow this brings back memories!
My d stood all the time. From 6:30
am wake up time to 10:30 pm bedtime. Yes at school too. I did get the teachers involved.
I had to. Ed does not want anyone to know so that they can still be allowed those ED behaviours. By telling the teacher you are calling ED out you are allowing the teachers to help you properly. You let the teacher know that this is a private matter if you don’t want others to know. You may need to take d out of school if she cannot sit. I firmly believe that you have to play Whack a mole with Ed and try to keep at least in step with Ed if not ahead of it. 
Does your d stand at home too?
We drove around town. We drove slowly. We went on a canoe ride. We timed  sitting in half hour increments. D was given the incentive of playing soccer. The rule was she had to be able to sit for 2 hours per day and eat an extra snack to get soccer twice per  week. She did it. Not easily but we got there. Took about 4 months to make it more consistent and 6 months to stick.
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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Enn
PS You don’t need to tell the teacher so many details about Ed. We just told teacher that she had to sit because of ED without
getting into specifics. I also think that giving it a few weeks is too long to see. I would suggest one school week only.
if you give too long of a timeline then ED has too much power.
I told d that the teacher would tell me everyday she if she was sitting and I would call the teacher anytime to ask. D was also notified that if she kept standing she was going to be either at home or work with me. D loves school so complied as best as she could. I am sure her illness kept her standing and it was not what she wanted to do, it was what ED made her do.
She may need you to make her sit, so she can fight ED.
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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whenwillthisbeover
Thank you Scaredmom.  That is a good suggestion.  D has 7 teachers for each of her subjects, so we will be busy getting in touch with them tomorrow.  She doesn't want us to tell anyone, but I don't think we have a choice at this point.  I agree, we will reduce the timeline to one week and check in with teachers daily.  I do also feel like we are playing whack a mole.  Seems like there's always a new behavior to whack!
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Torie
Hi Bonita, Some here have told the school that ED-kid has "heart issues" or "digestive issues" or some such, while others are more direct.  It's up to you to decide how much you want to share.

You might tell your d the teachers are worried because it is not normal to stand like that ("normal" is such a great word because almost all teens what to be "normal").  You could say you're really sorry that she needs this extra help and support, but since she hasn't been able to sit during class without it, you have no choice. Just a thought.  Please keep us posted. xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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ValentinaGermania
Hi, I just wanted to add that I was one of those who feared to talk to the teachers and in my case here this was the best thing I ever did. The school was very helpful here and the head teacher even supervised her snack and she did great with that. We also communicated that AN is a metabolism disease and we gave the school print outs from Evas homepage about how the school could help.

I wonder if it would just help when the teachers tell her she is not allowed to stand all time and needs to sit down now.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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debra18
My daughter stood every day and all day for a year. I was working on so many behaviors and didn't work on that one.
 She stopped standing one day on her own and has never done it again. But it seems like you are tackling the behavior anyway. Just giving you hope that it will end.
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ValentinaGermania
I totally agree with you, Ronson, just because they are in school for a long time every day and the teachers are in charge there they MUST know what to do. You do not need to communicate all details.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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