F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

Join these conversations already in progress:
• Road To Recovery - Stories of Hope
• Events for Parents and Caregivers Around the World
• Free F.E.A.S.T Conference Videos

Visit the F.E.A.S.T website for information and support.

If you need help using the forum please reach out to one of the moderators (listed below), or email us at bronwen@feast-ed.org.

peregrine_USA
My adult daughter, who prefers to live by herself and needs to learn to be self-sufficient, with 30+ year AN BN subtype will be discharged from the hospital soon once she reaches the goal of 90 healthy pounds as set by her doctors (I continue to push for 100, PCP wants 110).  
She needs an alternative to having food in her pantry/refrigerator. I know people who eat all their meals out to avoid this but with a food allowance of $115/week, this is an unlikely solution.  Food delivery with a charge can be covered separately.   Has anyone out there come up with a solution re daily delivery of a 3 meals 2 snacks plan?
Peregrine_USA
Quote
tina72
Here in Germany there are services for elder people that live at home and they come 3 times a day and bring meals. I have no idea if something like that is available there and what it might cost.
Is there a reliable friend or neighbor that could bring her the meals/snacks? How far away from your home does she live? Would it be an idea to ask her to stay with you for the first weeks to practise that? Or can you stay with her at her home for some time x?
I think lunch and dinner can maybe delived but breakfast and snacks must be available easier but not accessable 24/7. That is really a big problem if they do not live with you...
The first time at home is the most difficult and the most relapses happen then. I hope someone will be here with more ideas soon.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Quote
atdt31_US
What if all the food were prepped and packaged individually and:

1.  Frozen and the only means to heat it up (microwave) were outside the home (work, friends, etc) .. basically still eating out every meal but with much lesser expense;

OR

2.  I would guess there is some sort of lock that is web-based and YOU or someone else could manage it remotely.  I don't have time to research that right now, but I will asap later today or tomorrow.  Envisioning full pantry and fridge and one day's worth of food at a time in a location she has free access to but you control access to the other food.  Cumbersome, but potentially doable??
Mom of either pre-diagnosis or non-ed underweight 12 yoa (as of March 2018) kid here to learn how to achieve weight gain.  BMI steadily in the mid 12's for nearly her entire life.  Born 2006. UPDATE:  April 2018 diagnosed ARFID, based solely on weight being less than 75% of Ideal Body Weight.  Mildly picky, but mostly the problem is a volume/early satiety issue, along with abdominal discomfort and chronic constipation, all present since birth. FWIW ED-D is a fraternal twin and we have no other kids.
Quote
mjkz
Peregrine, will she cook at all?  I was just studying meal prep places myself.  Here is a good article that tells you what's available, how much, etc.  It is definitely worth a read.  https://www.moneyunder30.com/meal-delivery-comparison
Quote
peregrine_USA
Thank you for your thoughts.  I have learned there is something here called grub hub that will deliver meals from a variety of restaurants.  As well, local grocery stores and even Costco will deliver food for a delivery fee.  These options habe helped me to calm down about this.  The bottom line is that she must eat.  She knows she must eat.  One day at a time.  
Peregrine_USA
Quote
tina72
Can you eat "with her" via skype?
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Quote
peregrine_USA
Tina72 - a great idea.  Now, though we need to brainstorm about a computer because hers was stolen over the weekend.  My husband said we might get her a used desk top with a chain bolted to the floor - gotta have a bit of humor here.
Peregrine_USA
Quote
tina72
Buy a used one that is working but not up to date so not interesting for burglers...🙂
I like the idea with the chain. Can we think about that for the ds too???😂
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Quote
scaredmom
How about FaceTime on the phone? 
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
Quote
Kali

Hi Peregrine,

I'm not sure how close you live to your daughter, or whether you work or have any time available, but her budget sounds low for enough food deliveries to cover a week. Something I did when my parents were ill was to cook large main courses which could then be frozen as individual portions and used later with some simple, fresh side dishes. So if you live nearby perhaps you could do that, keep them in your freezer, and then bring over the meals on a daily basis and even stay and eat them with her. What if she did a mixture of deliveries from take out and some food you prepare?

Also it sounds as though being released from the hospital and then going back to live alone might be difficult. Is there anyone who can stay with her or can she stay with others while she adjusts to being out of the hospital and her new eating routine? There are also services which will send someone to eat with a person with an eating disorder specifically after they leave the hospital or treatment, in order to bridge that gap. They also have video chat meal support and other online support services. I believe they are national.

https://eatingdisorderspecialists.com/

 

Just some thoughts.... 

Kali

Food=Love
Quote

        

WTadmin