F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

Join these conversations already in progress:
• Road To Recovery - Stories of Hope
• Events for Parents and Caregivers Around the World
• Free F.E.A.S.T Conference Videos

Visit the F.E.A.S.T website for information and support.

If you need help using the forum please reach out to one of the moderators (listed below), or email us at bronwen@feast-ed.org.

Need to talk with another parent? F.E.A.S.T. parents offer peer support via:

We are dropping weight and food amounts rapidly. Involuntarily throwing up often. I see it happen. 
She says it is just too much work to eat and not feel so sick after. 
Im at a loss. Im worn out and want to say forget it all and send her off. She has no fear of weight gain. Doesn't care about body size. Just hates food and feeling sick. 
I am angry and tired. I just want to bail on it all. What would you do? 
Its always "I'll try" when I present food. I do think she is trying but we are tanking. Im scared and so tired. Help.
Has anyone discussed  rumination syndrome?
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)

I understand your worry. Now it is time to seek different modalities to help her. Does she throw up everything? 
I know she had GI tests in the past and no significant medical concerns were noted, if I recall correctly.
Here is another link.

When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
I can only agree with Enn that your D needs urgent further assessment, recurrent regurgitation, vomiting can cause serious health complications.. The motivation behind being sick, deliberate or not really doesn't matter right now. Her fear of eating is a contributor to her being unwell too. If this is rumination syndrome, gastroparesis or purging it needs to be worked on and managed. With some of the conditions it can get worse if they lose weight. 

Having read through your other posts, including other threads I think it is important that your D have much more intensive input. She appears to have a long history of anxiety disorders and ARFID type issues from long before her diagnosis of AN. Her anxiety may well be playing into this and it is becoming a vicious cycle. 

You wrote this back in October last year.   https://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post/is-treatment-helping-10299109?pid=1309800480&random=15608
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13. Initially weight restored 2012. Relapse and continuously edging towards recovery. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
Thank you.  I don't think she meets any rumination diagnosis. It doesn't always happen after every meal. Sometimes it is once a day or a couple times a week. Last night she was babysitting. Ate her dinner that I sent her. She then was putting the boy to bed, an hour after dinner, and said she just suddenly felt like she was going to throw up. She does not recall any thoughts or anxieties, just physical sickness. 

We did the huge GI study and all looks normal. The one thing I notice is that she burps a lot. Early on when eating a.meal she just starts burping, like you would when full. It's strange though I haven't said anything to her about it. 

We have seen doctors, still going outpatient to ED clinic, and seeing anxiety therapist twice a week outside of ED clinic and NO ONE seems to "get it". 

I don't even know where to turn for expertise. I am already seeing the experts. 

Do I send her back to treatment? I don't know how that will help. I guess I'm leaning towards going back to strong stage 1 with constant supervision and support with FBT at home.

I know she needs help and answers but I cant seem to get them from anyone. We have tried anti vomit meds and no luck.  We are on Buspar and Lamictal and it seems to help with stable mood ( besides anxiety).

She cannot really tell me what her thoughts are around food. She doesn't even know anymore. She said she just always feels like she is sick...even when not eating...but especially when eating. 

If she had her way she would just quit eating, saying it's too much work etc. 

I mean there is residential treatment but I'm not sure that would help. I just feel lost. It does feel very ARFID and also the anxiety fight or flight response.
But today... food has been relatively easier. Never got sick. Even asked for more snack at bedtime. 
I did tell her today that were taking a couple steps back and that I'll be doing more support, decisions and supervision around food. She didn't baulk at that. 
Maybe that's it. Just slow down and more support. For now taking the vomiting as "it will pass" with her...not freaking out but just more like oh well, this too shall pass. 
i feel that your daughter responds well to reassurance. I like your calm approach, despite how you feel inside. Try not to show your worry or disappointment, should they increase her anxiety. 

She must be tired, too.

Goid that you had all the tests and can exclude many GI issues (this does remind me of watching someone close to me, with stomach ulcer, enjoy a meal but struggle to keep it down).

Wishing you both calm and recovery.
Mum's Kitchen

14-y-o "healthy living" led to AN in 2017 and WR at 16. Current muscle dysmorphia.
You can give her meds against the burping, she has too much air in her stomach like a baby (Lefax would be chosen here).
Maybe the air makes her fell full and feel sick.

But this does not explain the weight loss and decrease in food amounts. You can make up the calories that she has lost with throwing up. When she is not gaining this has normally 3 reasons:
1) secret exercise
2) secret throwing up (maybe more than you notice and she reports?)
3) not enough food
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
This is a long shot, but some members of my family get burping and digestive issues in the winter from low vitamin D.  (Are you in the northern hemisphere?)   So it wouldn't hurt to try to get her some sun.  

So sorry you (and she) are having this difficulty.  Glad to hear things are a bit better today (yesterday now?). xx

"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 

Definitely no exercise. Hates it.
No making self sick
No unusual fear of weight gain beyond normal teenage stuff
Food intake down -my fault

I just joined an ARFID forum online and I feel like I'm "home". It all resonates with me for my D. Im going to try to learn more but I do know the essential treatment protocol is the same as RAN. I think we've had ARFID since probably 5th grade. 
It does not matter how you call it as long as the food goes in and the weight goes up!
Great that you found some help there!
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.