F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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8472567756a
My daughter has had an eating disorder for 3 years now. She was 12 when it started and she’s 15 now. Last year she missed most of high school after being away in two inpatient facilities, then residential and later PHP and IOP. She saw an outside nutritionist when she graduated from IOP and eventually got up to 123, her goal weight at the time. Then came the urologist appointment...

My D had to see a urologist because she has been having severe bedwetting issues for the past year. We were thinking it could be the result of Olanzapine making her so extra sleepy but she did have a hard time with this when she was younger too. Anyway, as I was filling out forms for the doctor, they took my D  to get some baseline things done, one of which was to be weighted. I forgot to have them do a blind weight and my D saw the “big” number. From that point, she started restricting on her meal plan and lost 11 lbs in 3 weeks. 

So, we started FBT instead of a meal plan program. However, she’s 15,  has always been strong willed and had to unlearn so much of what she learned in the other programs. Just plopping a dinner in front of her and saying you can’t move until you eat this wasn’t going to work for her or our family. We then started to do a gradual increase of food with her and the weight started coming on, although this time she knows her weight and can process it each week. She is eating the same foods each week and is up to about 2400 calories a week. 

In trying to get weight restored this way, my D is less anxious because each week the scale confirms the need for more food. She says once weight restored, she definitely wants to add in lots of variety. She says it won’t be as anxiety provoking and will help her remain recovered because she will understand food and her body’s needs more for life.

She VERY much wants to be able to go out to lunch, etc. with friends and family. She says it will be easier add variety into her eating once weight restored so she will be able to do this. 

My my question is: We have done all the programs except ERC in Denver. We’re on a waitlist there for a bed. My D is 109 now and very motivated. If we pull her out of school again she will lose all hope and most likely go right to a feeding tube again. She will also have extreme social issues when she gets home and she is already extremely socially anxious, which never was the case before ED I’m thinking of going back to a nutritionist who specializes in ED and doing this increase with my D using the same familiar “safe” foods and then transitioning over to lots of variety. i had a wonderful conversation with her last night and so much of my regular D came through. Doing it this way takes out the highened anxiety, gets her to weight restoration, removes the God awful ED physical behavior and fills  my D with lifelong hope. 

Knowing the programs don’t seem to work for my D, do you thing we are doing the right thing? Her goal and ours is to gain between 1-2 lbs a week. 

Thoughts?
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ValentinaGermania
There is not one right way to do it and every family needs to find out what works for them. There are a  lot of families that refeed to WR only with safe food. Some said that it was easier to introduce fear food around WR then from the start.
As long as she is gaining 1-2 lbs a week and you see her behaviour getting better I would follow that path. The big question for me is how long is your fear food list? If it is only a few items she is not eating at the moment that is o.k. If it is a long list and including basics like meat, diary or carbs I would try to introduce that earlier and not wait for WR.
If she is gaining weight at home steadily and eating what you serve I see no reason why you should put her into another program. In the end she needs to be able to eat and gain at home.
But if possible I would try to increase the intake a bit to make the process more fast (and if she is compliant she might want to get WR faster). Studies show that a fast weight gain is better than a slow. You only lengthen the pain with it.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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sk8r31
Wondering which programs you have done, and if they included UCSD?  Our d had been ill for 3 years before we went to their multi-family 5 Day Intensive program, and it truly was the 'light bulb' moment for all of us.  Helped us to write a contract, which was very important in moving forward, and taught us skills and tools as parents to use to help our then-17-year-old into a strong recovery.
Might be worthwhile giving an intake specialist a call to see if this would be a good fit for your family.
Sending warm support for next steps,
sk8r31
It is good to not only hope to be successful, but to expect it and accept it--Maya Angelou
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8472567756a
Yes, we did go to the UCSD intense family therapy in February. It was a great program but Erin’s “contract” was very whittled down because she was eating so little at the time and it seemed to worsen when she was there because she was triggered by others. 

Since home, she has made progress both on the scale and in the amount of food she is eating. It’s slow but steady progress. 

Thanks for your responses. 
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debra18
If you think she is making progress and gaining weight keep going. I think 1-2 pounds is a good goal. But you will probably need to go higher with the weight than you think. State not weight.
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workingthrough
Reading the other post about dietitians, I’d just make sure to ask/interview/find someone you’re comfortable with and will be good with her. 

Our dietitian has added challenge foods each week with s and I’m thankful she did. It caused tension on all of us, but sure sped things along. In the beginning, it was only 1-3 things a week, as time has progressed we’ve moved challenge things into every day, each meal, etc. I think the sooner you can get the things she used to eat back in, the better. As s neared his “WR” weight his anxiety peaked in a big way - I was thankful we were well underway with fear foods. 

Its all so hard. Are you doing all of the cooking? She’s out of the kitchen? Will she take smoothies? I’d work towards a good smoothie or milkshake each day for addl. calories to get her weight up as quickly as possible. Everything goes so much better when they’re at a higher weight. 

Maybe you could share what her safe foods are and we could brainstorm ways to add (oil, cream, butter) to them as well. 

Were still learning and making our own way through, please don’t take this as expert advice in any way - just a few thoughts that stuck out to me. 

Wishing you all of the very best. This is no easy feat. You’re doing amazing. 
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Mamaroo
Welcome from me as well. Not only did we refeed the slow and steady way, but along the journey, my d decided to take the scenic route and to stop and smell the roses. But in the end we got there. If your d is eating and gaining weight, then I can't find any reason not to continue what you are doing now. We tackled fear food after WR and took a laddered approach. For example to get her to eat ice cream, we started with yogurt. Next step was to freeze the yogurt and then to buy frozen yogurt. Then I bought frozen yogurt, which looked like ice cream and then finally she had some ice cream. Today she can eat anything. Good luck with this long journey!
D became obsessed with exercise at age 9 and started eating 'healthy' at age 9.5. Restricting couple of months later. IP for 2 weeks at age 10. Slowly refed for months on Ensures alone, followed by swap over with food at a snails pace. WR after a year at age 11 in March 2017. View my recipes on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKLW6A6sDO3ZDq8npNm8_ww
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ValentinaGermania
8472567756a wrote:
Yes, we did go to the UCSD intense family therapy in February. It was a great program but Erin’s “contract” was very whittled down because she was eating so little at the time and it seemed to worsen when she was there because she was triggered by others. 

Since home, she has made progress both on the scale and in the amount of food she is eating. It’s slow but steady progress. 

Thanks for your responses. 


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Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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