F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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atdt31_US
Talking tonight with my non-ED twin, Seventh Grade, about an project at school she is excited for - - they are making quesadillas and smoothies this week in Home Economics (not called that anymore but I don't know what FCS stands for).  Out of innocent curiosity, I asked what is the unit about, like, what are they actually studying that this is the cooking lab?  She replied "you are not going to like it."  Then said, it is about nutrition and how to eat healthy.  She smirked and said, "you are going to want to kill them when {twin sister} gets there."  

Then she showed me the material -- I'll just give you this sentence and it is a pretty good idea of why she knows I will want to address it when ED Twin takes that course next (quarter?  semester?). 

Here is my favorite quote from the textbook pages I saw:
"Water is the single most important substance you take into your body.  You can get along for days, even weeks, without food.  You can only survive a few days without water."  Thanks for the info, school. Crucial info for every twelve year old. 

It is truly exhausting trying to stay on top of all the fronts:  science class; Home Ec; PE; annual height/weight school checks; Health Class; not to mention the multiple doctors who are all well-intended and none actually wrong, but all on different pages at different times with slightly different messages/means that muddy everything.
Mom of either pre-diagnosis or non-ed underweight 12 yoa (as of March 2018) kid here to learn how to achieve weight gain.  BMI steadily in the mid 12's for nearly her entire life.  Born 2006. UPDATE:  April 2018 diagnosed ARFID, based solely on weight being less than 75% of Ideal Body Weight.  Mildly picky, but mostly the problem is a volume/early satiety issue, along with abdominal discomfort and chronic constipation, all present since birth. FWIW ED-D is a fraternal twin and we have no other kids.
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tina72
It is so great to hear that she (non ED d) is aware of the problem and realised that you will explode when reading that!

I think I would have phoned the school immediately! I can imagine what you thought after reading that.
Please try to contact school AND the company that sells the textbook because that is something that cannot be accepted at all! Maybe you can send it to the FEAST team so they can get in contact with the person who is in charge for that.
And do avoid that ED twin will take part in any of those classes!

No words. We really need to fight on all sides.

Tina72
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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tina72
You can get along for days, even weeks, without food.

It should at least be "in extreme situations like an earthquake you can get along for days, even weeks, without food" and it should be added that this will do great harm to the body but not kill you if it is only short time.

But I really do not know why a 12 year old in a civilizated country needs to know that.


If that textbook would have said "You do not die from smoking some cigarettes when you are young" you would hear an explosion going around on media...that sentence is as "true" as the one above.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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atdt31_US
tina72 wrote:
You can get along for days, even weeks, without food.

It should at least be "in extreme situations like an earthquake you can get along for days, even weeks, without food" and it should be added that this will do great harm to the body but not kill you if it is only short time.

But I really do not know why a 12 year old in a civilizated country needs to know that.


If that textbook would have said "You do not die from smoking some cigarettes when you are young" you would hear an explosion going around on media...that sentence is as "true" as the one above.


Agreed on all counts.  And also, assuming an otherwise healthy adult.

Mom of either pre-diagnosis or non-ed underweight 12 yoa (as of March 2018) kid here to learn how to achieve weight gain.  BMI steadily in the mid 12's for nearly her entire life.  Born 2006. UPDATE:  April 2018 diagnosed ARFID, based solely on weight being less than 75% of Ideal Body Weight.  Mildly picky, but mostly the problem is a volume/early satiety issue, along with abdominal discomfort and chronic constipation, all present since birth. FWIW ED-D is a fraternal twin and we have no other kids.
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OneToughMomma
Infuriating!

It's a constant battle, really.  I'm a teacher, and the text book THAT I CHOSE has tips on how to lose weight.  (I missed it, and probs would have chosen the text anyway.  My choices are limited.) It is a foreign language text book, for crying out loud!

Of course I skip the bad bits, and chat to my students (yes, my FL students) about what healthy eating looks like.  No restrictions!  All food is good!  Lots of variety!  I also regularly serve sweets under the guise of cultural experiences.  

Good luck with your battle.  I'm with you in spirit.

xoOTM
D in and out of EDNOS since age 8. dx RAN 2013. WR Aug '14. Graduated FBT June 2015 at 18 yrs old. [thumb]
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atdt31_US
Wow, you would certainly not expect there to be issues like that in a foreign language book.  But then again, it really is everywhere.  Ads on tv; comments from friends; off-handed remarks in otherwise "safe" tv shows; morning radio (one of the worst); etc.  I am probably not going to pull her from the classes because I have no thought that she would remain insulated from the same messages in a myriad other venues -- but there is something particularly offensive about it being taught, intentionally, by a teacher as part of the actual curriculum (not incidental in a foreign language book or on tv by actors).  So I am not sure what I'll do -- if it were one class for a definitive time, it would be easier to just take her out. But I know it is much more ingrained in the curriculum than that so I think I will just arm her with more medically accurate information and try to combat the propaganda that way. Also I will talk to the teachers and hopefully they will agree to modify the message by indicating how how the textbook is incomplete in its message and stress the importance of young bodies eating regularly and gaining weight to fuel growth, etc.   In elementary school I had decent success with talking to the teachers, so we'll see how it goes here in middle school.
Mom of either pre-diagnosis or non-ed underweight 12 yoa (as of March 2018) kid here to learn how to achieve weight gain.  BMI steadily in the mid 12's for nearly her entire life.  Born 2006. UPDATE:  April 2018 diagnosed ARFID, based solely on weight being less than 75% of Ideal Body Weight.  Mildly picky, but mostly the problem is a volume/early satiety issue, along with abdominal discomfort and chronic constipation, all present since birth. FWIW ED-D is a fraternal twin and we have no other kids.
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scaredmom
atdt31_US wrote:
Wow, you would certainly not expect there to be issues like that in a foreign language book.  But then again, it really is everywhere.  Ads on tv; comments from friends; off-handed remarks in otherwise "safe" tv shows; morning radio (one of the worst); etc.  I am probably not going to pull her from the classes because I have no thought that she would remain insulated from the same messages in a myriad other venues -- but there is something particularly offensive about it being taught, intentionally, by a teacher as part of the actual curriculum (not incidental in a foreign language book or on tv by actors).  So I am not sure what I'll do -- if it were one class for a definitive time, it would be easier to just take her out. But I know it is much more ingrained in the curriculum than that so I think I will just arm her with more medically accurate information and try to combat the propaganda that way. Also I will talk to the teachers and hopefully they will agree to modify the message by indicating how how the textbook is incomplete in its message and stress the importance of young bodies eating regularly and gaining weight to fuel growth, etc.   In elementary school I had decent success with talking to the teachers, so we'll see how it goes here in middle school.



I think you are very wise. We cannot escape these messages, unfortunately.
I think talking to the teachers will be helpful. Part of this ED and ARFID stuff is educating our kids that they will be bombarded with so much info about everything in life and they have to learn how to"get to the truth". The truth for them with respect to nutrition, may apply to some people but not all people and for sure not to them. So frustrating, I know.
Good luck
XX
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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atdt31_US
Back again with more school stress.  Seventh Grade Health Class.  School called to alert me that tomorrow they are starting a nutrition section.  I was able to speak to the teacher and she sent home the book and worksheet materials that will be covered in the two day section.  The book was written in 2009.  I am not a huge fan of the unit in general, and honestly do not know why a middle schooler needs to know about HDL and LDL cholesterol, etc.  BUT so far I have kept my d in classes and pre-briefed and then de-briefed her.  But this time the unit seems more specific and also is hitting at a bad time for us in multiple ways.  So I have to decide tonight if I will pull her or not (school says it is easy enough to send her to study hall and they are fine with that if I opt  for that).  

I have just read the chapter and worksheet and have concerns about message like:

1.  Book:
a.  chart showing level of activity and corresponding daily calorie needs (sedentary female 1600; moderately active female 2000; active female 2200).  My d would be sedentary based on their definitions.  b.  sentences like this:  "To stay at a healthy weight you need to eat just what your body requires for energy."  c.  Calories from sugar that are not used for energy are stored as fat and can lead to unhealthful weight gain.  d.  Go easy on foods that are high in saturated fats, such as fatty meat and butter.  Eating too much of these foods can increase the risk of heart disease and stroke.  Choose lean meat that is baked or broiled rather than fried.  e.  Charts and diagrams showing how to read a nutrition label for number of calories and servings.

2.   Worksheet:  includes three nutrition labels and the kids are to analyze them by looking at serving size and how many calories and fat they would get if they ate various portions.  Of course one of the example labels is Chocolate Ice Cream and my d would be asked to analyze it and see a serving is 1/2 cup and has 125 calories (clearly not a premium brand!).  Then see how many fat grams (identifying saturated, unsaturated) and calories, are in various portion sizes (up to 1.5 cups).  And then comparing the three snacks (gelatin dessert and granola bar are the other two).  Then identifying which snack she would choose.  I don't know.  Maybe I am feeling sensitive to it because I was just starting to get comfortable with where we are and I fear anything that can rock our somewhat smooth boat right now.  Also I truly do not see any reason for a 13 year old to know any of this stuff.  

My favorite part of the chapter is the big colored square with a smiling boy and his interview about fast food, in which he is asked if fast food can be part of healthy diet, he states (and the book seems to pass off as true):  "... in some cases no, because eating hamburgers or cheeseburgers with fries can make you gain weight and be more likely to have a heart attack."  And that is exactly what a person would get out of this chapter.  Ridiculous.  
Mom of either pre-diagnosis or non-ed underweight 12 yoa (as of March 2018) kid here to learn how to achieve weight gain.  BMI steadily in the mid 12's for nearly her entire life.  Born 2006. UPDATE:  April 2018 diagnosed ARFID, based solely on weight being less than 75% of Ideal Body Weight.  Mildly picky, but mostly the problem is a volume/early satiety issue, along with abdominal discomfort and chronic constipation, all present since birth. FWIW ED-D is a fraternal twin and we have no other kids.
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debra18
At least the school gave you the material and asked your opinion.
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atdt31_US
debra18 wrote:
At least the school gave you the material and asked your opinion.


yes, I am glad they called even if only with one day notice. I do not blame the teacher for the curriculum. But I do think it a mistake for schools to teach this stuff in this way. 
Mom of either pre-diagnosis or non-ed underweight 12 yoa (as of March 2018) kid here to learn how to achieve weight gain.  BMI steadily in the mid 12's for nearly her entire life.  Born 2006. UPDATE:  April 2018 diagnosed ARFID, based solely on weight being less than 75% of Ideal Body Weight.  Mildly picky, but mostly the problem is a volume/early satiety issue, along with abdominal discomfort and chronic constipation, all present since birth. FWIW ED-D is a fraternal twin and we have no other kids.
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Mamaroo
I'm sure your d would have a great time at study hall 😊

I'm going to check what would be covered in my d's class now.
D became obsessed with exercise at age 9 and started eating 'healthy' at age 9.5. Restricting couple of months later. IP for 2 weeks at age 10. Slowly refed for months on Ensures alone, followed by swap over with food at a snails pace. WR after a year at age 11 in March 2017. View my recipes on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKLW6A6sDO3ZDq8npNm8_ww
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debra18
Yes it's a mistake. I don't think anyone thinks about it.  My 3 year old came home with the old fashion food pyramid telling everyone sugar is bad. I told the school and the danger of teaching foods as good and bad. When my ED daughter became sick she had a compilation of everything she had heard over the years in her brain, including my husband telling the kids every night "eating at night is bad for you"
It takes so long to reverse the damage.
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krae
It would be fantastic if we could have much more enlighted teaching methods in regards to food and how it can help young bodies to develope and how important food is to develope their brain function and emotional stability.
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tina72
I would not send my d and maybe you can have a serious talk to the school afterwards (now its too late) why they should not do that again next year. Great that they warned you before and gave you information.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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scaredmom
I have taught my kids that I know nutrition better and that I will teach them(wink wink)
d knows to excuse herself ( and tells me after) from those classes and her teachers know too. We all have our own systems to cope. 
XXX
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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tina72
Sometimes it is good that school is done and this is something I do not need to think about any more...this is one of the best things having an adult patient. Only fighting advertisement and poor things people say here.

I have taught her in the last 2 years that ANY restruction is bad and that it is as unhealthy to eat only salad than to eat only burgers. Variety, variety, variety!
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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atdt31_US
School canceled today due to snow.  So I broached this with the girls.  Non Ed Twin wants to stay in the unit and agreed we go out for snacks and I de-brief her.  We hit it pretty head on that I think some of this is inaccurate and can be dangerous in certain situations and sometimes it is impossible to know who is at risk until it is too late.  She has a vegetarian friend who works out a ton and has recently used her to join the work outs -- so this will by my "in" to talk about why I am hesitating on the work outs.  I think she is okay to hear all of this outside the presence of ED Twin.  

Ed Twin wants out of the nutrition unit so there you go, I will have one in and one out of this nutrition unit in Health Class (they are both in Health this quarter, but have it different periods).  In our home, we will keep approaching it clinically and objectively in terms of this book is old and has misinformation and/or incomplete information about nutritional needs and that, like the doctors who have given bad advice, nutrition is not necessarily one-size-fits-all AND nutritional needs can change over one's lifetime.  

I asked ED Twin if she would rather I just pull her in the future or if she wanted a conversation like this first and to have input in the decision -  she said she never wants to learn this stuff at school and that she absolutely does not want to participate in any units about eating disorders (which she knows is coming next year, in 8th grade).  I told her we can cross that bridge when we come to it but that we will plan to take her out of that unit and check with her as other things come up (I know her Home Ec class will do a unit on nutrition soon, too, because NonEDTwin already had it this year ...).     
Mom of either pre-diagnosis or non-ed underweight 12 yoa (as of March 2018) kid here to learn how to achieve weight gain.  BMI steadily in the mid 12's for nearly her entire life.  Born 2006. UPDATE:  April 2018 diagnosed ARFID, based solely on weight being less than 75% of Ideal Body Weight.  Mildly picky, but mostly the problem is a volume/early satiety issue, along with abdominal discomfort and chronic constipation, all present since birth. FWIW ED-D is a fraternal twin and we have no other kids.
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atdt31_US
I also sent the Health teacher the link to Eva Musby's school resource.  
Mom of either pre-diagnosis or non-ed underweight 12 yoa (as of March 2018) kid here to learn how to achieve weight gain.  BMI steadily in the mid 12's for nearly her entire life.  Born 2006. UPDATE:  April 2018 diagnosed ARFID, based solely on weight being less than 75% of Ideal Body Weight.  Mildly picky, but mostly the problem is a volume/early satiety issue, along with abdominal discomfort and chronic constipation, all present since birth. FWIW ED-D is a fraternal twin and we have no other kids.
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debra18
I am glad you had a good conversation with you daughters. My daughter's schools is not interested in reading anything I sent them.
Another bad thing that happened in school was my non ED daughter brought home a paper where she had to calculate her weight on different planets. I told her to make up a much lower weight that wasn't hers and she agreed. But the next thing I knew was her and my ED daughter were busy calculating their own weight on different planets. I am sure all the girls in her class were busy discussing their weights the next day.
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tina72
atdt31_US wrote:
I also sent the Health teacher the link to Eva Musby's school resource.  


That is great! Information and learning can change something.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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