F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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hsmom
My D says she is planning on moving out when she is 18 in May. Wants to take a gap year before starting college. She has been in OP treatment for a year and our family attended a week at the Center for Balnced Living in September. She was very near WR in September. I was mostly in charge of her eating. Since then she has started a job and is away for lunch and 2 snacks. She lost 4 pounds and has been gaining it back very slowly. I have caught her hiding some of her ensures tha she is supposed to have at work and some of her evening snack. I know she doesn't eat what she needs on her own, but what can I do if she moves out? We will not help her financially.
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mjkz
Can she move out?  Is it even financially feasible?  I know a lot of people here have had kids threaten to move out (mine is doing this now as a matter of fact) but reality is they are just saying it but have no way to actually do it.  It is scary as all get out to imagine them out there when they can't even feed themselves which is why it may not even be a credible alternative.
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Torie
hsmom wrote:
My D says she is planning on moving out when she is 18 in May.


Sucks that things are so much harder when they turn 18 ... by my count you have 5 months (+) until then.  

Time to batten down the hatches and get her to a good weight.

Keep swimming. xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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AUSSIEedfamily
Dear hsmom,

Our D moved out for a while when relapse hit. It was not easy for various reasons but we maintained contact with her especially my wife.

We were always supportive even though the ed did everything it could to seperate her from us. Eventually she recognised that home was where the support was and moved back home.

How did the 5 day CBL program go?



ED Dad
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Francie

Hi Hsmom, I can tell you are very worried about your d. But it is possible that things will not turn out as she expects -- she may not move out after all.

Just use this time to maintain or build a solid relationship with her and be ready to pick her up when and if she falls. Express your unconditional love and support at all times.

My d is 19 and there is very little I can do, too, except tell her all the time that I love her and support her, and try and maintain a good relationship with her when everything else in her life is falling to pieces.

The hiding the ensure and the weight loss is not a good sign and you know that. I am hopeful that a little independence may help your d recognize that she has to take care of herself in order to live a good life. 

All best to you. XO

Francie

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WTadmin