F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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If you need help using the forum please reach out to one of the moderators (listed below), or email us at bronwen@feast-ed.org.

Momof3Canada
I have been trying to write on the board for a week now, but have not been able to bring myself to do so.

Last week, my daughter went into cardiac arrest. She was down for quite some time and is now in a coma and we are not sure if or how much brain function she has lost. She is NOT in a vegetative state / EMG confirms... and we are waiting for her to wake up to assess. She is also back on dialysis as her kidneys have once again shut down. We are not sure what's going to happen. She is on a vent to assist her with breathing and give her body more chance to rest.

Having had heart attacks and multi system organ failure in the past, her frail body wasn't able to withstand even 20 pounds of weight loss ..

My husband and I are beside ourselves...So are my other two children. We are spending all day and all night in the ICU waiting-watching-praying.

She had pneumonia over three months ago now and inadvertently lost weight.., then she continued to restrict, while keeping us in the dark. Our lives had resumed to normal after weight restoration, but her head was not there yet. I knew she lost weight, but seeing her lying in a gown shocks me. I don't know how she lost so much weight so fast right under my watch. The guilt is unbearable. I should have taken more time off work when she had pneumonia. I saw the slippery slope but I didn't realize how far down it went.

Please pray for my daughter and my family if you are a praying parent.

Hope it's okay to post such bad news. I in no way want to discourage any supporter .. If not, moderators, feel free to remove it.

Holly and Lance
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hopeful_mum
Oh my word that is so sad to read Holly and Lance. Don't really know what to say but I will remember you all in my prayers. It sounds like you have had a really long and hard journey. Try and keep strong. Pray your daughter pulls through.Please keep us posted. Try and get strength and solace from prayer coz nothing else can help at a time like this. Thinking of you all.
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floating
Holly and Lance I will pray for your daughter and family at this very difficult time......
Bless you all and may her recovery be swift

Hugs


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NellyMac_UK
So sad to read your post, we are of course all praying for you and thinking of you at this difficult time, you are in a place where we all fear to be but sort of understand as many of us have also been through life threatening experiences with our children. 

Take it a minute at a time, sending you love and strength to get through this, whatever the outcome we are here for you.
Diagnosed RAN October 2013, w/r but struggling with depression and anxiety.
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momof4_US
This sounds like a nightmare for your family.  As difficult as this must be to share in this forum it's a reminder to all of us on how vigilant we must continue to be.  Wishing you and your family strength and a recovery for your daughter from this critical condition.


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Rosered
Holly and Lance, I will keep you, your daughter, and your other children in my thoughts.  
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Foodsupport_AUS
Holly and Lance, this must be so difficult for you. 

This is every parent's nightmare, and particularly the nightmare of those of us on this forum. I am thinking of you and your family at this difficult time and hope your D is able to recover. 
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
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melstevUK
Holly and Lance,

Thinking of you at this terrible time, and offering prayers for your precious daughter.  Please try and forgive yourself - this is an illness where dramatic declines can happen in the twinkling of an eye. So glad she is getting the intensive care she so desperately needs right now.
Huge hugs across the water.
Mel xx
Believe you can and you're halfway there.
Theodore Roosevelt.
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IrishUp
Holly & Lance, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family has my full support. Please accept as many GINORMOUS JEDI HUGS as you want or need. 

I know that as parents, we will always shoulder some guilt over what happens to our children. It's in the job description. I only say this so your head can hear what your heart probably can't right now: THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT!  No one is to blame for this horrible %^@#$ing illness.

The forum is here for you.


IrishUp
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Smidgen
Dear MO3 I am so very sorry to hear about this. You have battled this horrible monster for such a long time and I'm sure you are hanging on by a thread. Please know that all of us are with you in spirit and praying for healing for your sweet daughter. Sending love and strength to you and your family at this very difficult time.
Diagnosed at 16, relapse at 19, weight restored again and now working on independent eating.
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hopefulmama
Holly and Lance-I am also praying for wisdom and guidance for the doctors and peace and comfort for you and your family. We are here to support you!
Enjoying my 23 year-old daughter's achievement of active recovery that was made possible by the resources and education I found on this forum.

Don't give up hope!
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Mom2DD
Holly & Lance,

I can not express the emotion your update ensued. I have already prayed...I will continue to pray and ask others to do the same. 

I just read many of your previous posts and about your long journey, your family has been through so much. It home with me as our daughter's were both 11 when this vile disease entered our home.

I too felt guilt until I realized that ED is bigger than we are, stronger than we ever imagined. Please Holly do not blame yourself, ever...forgive yourself! Just be there by her side knowing there is tons of love and support being sent your way!

Hugs xoxox 


I truly believe if love were medicinal, our children would all be cured! 


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mnmomUSA
So sorry to read this news.  Prayers being sent northward to you.  This illness is so horrid, but it's not your fault.  You have moved heaven and earth to help your daughter.  You are doing so right now.
D, age 18, first diagnosed March 20, 2013, RAN, at age 13 Hospitalized 3 weeks for medical stability. FBT at home since.  UCSD Multi-family Intensive June 2015. We've arrived on the other side.  :-)  D at college and doing great!
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Doitagain
I am praying for you and your husband and sending you strength and hope. My prayers are there for your D, tonight, tomorrow, and every day until you tell us all that she has the all clear. X
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sk8r31
Sending warm thoughts and prayers to your family, and hoping for the best possible outcome for your d.

sk8r31 xo
It is good to not only hope to be successful, but to expect it and accept it--Maya Angelou
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BlueRidge
I am so sorry to learn about your daughter and will be praying for you. Please do not blame yourself; you've done everything for her and are still doing everything now. Although our stories are all different, we are fighting the same evil. Your battle is our battle. We are all standing next to you!
18-y-o d dx RAN Mar 2014; WR in 3 mons but continued to gain for another 30+ lbs. ED is mostly gone though some minor remnants are still present; SH finally stopped after 2+ years; started DBT in Jun '15. "Voice in her head", OCD, body image, all slowly chipped away. I am finally breathing again and trying to enjoy life no matter what it brings me.
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KyrasMom_US
Momof3: Thank you for your honesty. I am so very sorry.

I truly feel that your situation is one I'm not immune to if I'm going to be honest about how quickly this disease can rear its ugly head even in times we thinks things are going well -- we all have "if onlys" and "I should haves" with this illness, but they do us no good and are likely not even based in reality. 

Know we are all here for you. You are in our thoughts every second. 

I hope you can feel the strength, thoughts, prayers and healing energy we're all sending your way.
Mom of 16-y-o D diagnosed w/ ED-NOS (RAN, compulsive exercise) in May 2013. Hospitalized for 2 wks then IOP at UCSD through July. Now in FBT w/ team of therapist, pediatrician and psychiatrist (for meds.). She is WR & considered to be in recovery, though we are diligently watching her and working on relapse prevention on a weekly basis with her T. We can finally see true recovery as a real possibility [biggrin]!
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Imthemom
Thoughts and prayers for your daughter and all of your family.
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Watson
I am so sorry.  I am not a particularly religious person but you and your family will be in my prayers.
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Psycho_Mom
I also will be thinking of you and your family. 

D diagnosed with EDNOS May 2013 at age 15, refed at home Aug 2013, since then symptoms gradually lessened and we retaught her how to feed and care for herself, including individual therapy, family skills DBT class, SSRI medication and relapse-prevention strategies. Anxiety was pre-existing and I believe she was sporadically restricting since about age 9. She now eats and behaves like any normal older teen, and is enjoying school, friends, sports, music and thinking about the future.
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anotherbite_CAN
your family is in my thoughts and prayers.  No guilt-  this could be any of us.  
D dx at 10 years old in June 2011. She is now 16 and happy and healthy.  We were IP for 8 weeks and then refed at home for what felt like forever.  We chased vertical growth for years...as is typical for the age.
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kas_US
MO3,

Can't even begin to imagine how your heart must be hurting for your girl. I will be praying for your entire family and for the wisdom of the doctors, and especially for a healing touch for your precious girl! Hugs to you!
Weight restored/Phase II
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mec
Praying for your girl and your family.

Please never be afraid of posting bad news in this space. That is why were are here, to support one another.

Hugs to you
21 year old daughter who was DX with RAN at 9 years old. The work of recovery is ongoing. 
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medford
My heart is breaking for you and your family.  Please don't beat yourself up.  ED is a formidable enemy who can wear anyone out.  You, your family and your daughter will be in my prayers tonight and every night thereafter.  Don't worry about taking the time to post unless you truly have the energy and or the need. Your ATDT family will be here. While there are so many similarities to this disease there are always uniqueness.  I haven't seen my daughter for over two weeks.  She refuses to see us and to come home.  On tuesday, she will turn 16. You have been there with your daughter through it all.  That what I call a true warrior.

Please don't fret about her losing the weight, my daughter fooled her family as well as her doctors for 5 months.  Our children become experts at hiding things that they want.   

My thoughts and prayers are with you.  Please take care and give your other children a hug.  I know that I am so often consumed with saving my oldest daughter that I often forget about the younger one. 

God bless.

Michelle
D 19, dx with RAN in March 2014. 6 hospital and 2 psychiatric inpatient stay. Not living at home and just completed first year of university
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mamabear
My heart goes out to you all.
Persistent, consistent vigilance!
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