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Teresa

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Reply with quote  #1 

We are back again seeking some recommendations and guidance.  It has been a while since we were on F.E.A.S.T. website and we are really impressed.  It is so well organized and well-presented / very easy to navigate with a ton of useful information.  Thank you so much for such an amazing website. 

Here is the background and updated information:

Our daughter had two previous episodes of ED first at the age of 12 (BMI 15.5) as a result of a growth spurt and not gaining weight as in she increased her involvement in competitive swimming.   We re-fed her at home with the guidance of a nutritionist and were able to restore her to set weight (BMI 22.7) and the symptoms disappeared.  Her next episode was at age 17 (BMI 21.2) during the fall of her Senior year of high school when she experienced another growth spurt.  We re-fed her and were able to get her weight restored before she entered college. 

While there were concerns at various times throughout college, including her decision to become a pescatarian, sophomore year, it wasn’t until this past summer when she began training for a ½ marathon that her weight began to decline from a calorie deficit during training.  She also became increasingly intense about fitness and body image in general, adopting the Kayla fitness program.  Her boyfriend is a competitive body builder which may have increased her focus on body image and influenced her interest in “Having Abs.”  Her healthy weight was in the 124 range (BMI 22.7), she is 5’2” tall.  We have attached her BMI history.  

Her weight has declined rapidly since she began training for the ½ marathon and adopting the Kayla program, she is now 22 and think she weighs close to 100 lbs, (BMI 18.3) there are clear signs that she is restricting, has increased food related anxiety, and we recently learned that her pulse rate is 45.  We were led to believe during Christmas by she and her boyfriend that she would go through a period of "Bulking" consuming more calories to build muscle.  We saw her last week it was evident that the her weight was continuing to decline and other symptoms had intensified.

Because she is away at school in Atlanta (We live in CT) and because she is now a young adult pursing re-feeding in the same we have successfully done in the past is not feasible.  She and her boyfriend plan to stay in Atlanta, he in grad school and working and she planning to do an internship preparing for Medical school.  

We need help identifying the best programs in Atlanta but are not averse to pulling her into a treatment center elsewhere.  We are looking for recommendation for programs.  We plan to as a first step have her do a complete physical ideally with a doctor who also is knowledgeable about ED and would like help identifying a few doctors in Atlanta.   

Thank you in advance for any information you can provide.

hbeatsaUSA

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Reply with quote  #2 
My understanding is that Veritas has a clinic in Atlanta. Perhaps they could point you in the right direction? Even if they can't help your daughter, they may have some good ideas as to who can! Good luck -- sending love. My d doesn't live too-too-too far from yours! 
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D- 21 w long history of RAN (that seems to be in remission, thankfully)
Me- Stephanie
Kali

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Reply with quote  #3 
Hi Teresa,

So sorry you have to come back and join us here again. I'm wondering a little about your daughter's schedule. The semester is about to be over for colleges. Has she committed to an internship?

It seems to me that because you successfully refed her a couple of times before that you could do it again now even though she is 22. Can she take a few months off and come home to do that or can someone from the family go down and stay for a few months and help her? Unfortunately it is probably highly unlikely that she will be able to do it on her own. As you mentioned, she seemed to say she would eat more and bulk up over xmas and was unable to do that.

So a good first step is as you say, getting her in to see a dr. who is familiar with ED's. I'm sure some families will be along soon who might know of someone in the Atlanta area. 

warmly, 
Kali

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Foodsupport_AUS

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Reply with quote  #4 
I am sorry to hear that you have had to come back here as  your D appears to be relapsing again. An unfortunate risk with this illness. I can't offer advice about care in Atlanta, but like Kali I don' think you should discount refeeding at home. Does her partner have any insight into her illness? Is she still running? Even at 22 it is reasonable to again say that you are drawing a line in the sand and feel that she needs to make changes. Absolutely getting an assessment from someone very knowledgeable about ED is important, they also should know her past history. 
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D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
Teresa

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Reply with quote  #5 
Thank you Foodsupport_Aus, Kali, & hbeatsaUSA for replying so quickly.  

We have tried to talk to my daughter's boyfriend but I do not think he thinks that she has a problem.  I have seen some communication between them back in January were he was encouraging her to continue to eat 1200 - 1300 cal a day.  I believe since October he has been trying to help her get the ABS that she wanted.  (He is a body builder and uses the bulk / cut method). I believe that he was helping her cut with the idea that she then would bulk-- but when it came time to bulking she is resisting saying she is afraid to gain and thinks she looks fat and continuing to cut.  He shared with us that when he tries to get her to eat more she says she cannot and has said to him "I think am in this too deep, I wish I never started this"

We continue to talk to him confidentially not sure he understands yet.  My daughter has told him things about us (like we are the enemy - that we are alway trying make her eat more than she wants etc). and I feel that he is conflicted.  We are hoping to talk to him today and give him information from this web site.  We are trying to educate him and hope to talk to him today and share the "Puzzling symptoms" document.

I need to find a doctor in Atlanta that will work with me (hoping to get an appointment for a physical right away) I will fly to Atlanta to take her to it.  I am a teacher so I will speak to my principal to get time off so I can focus on helping my daughter.  

Since she's graduating we just helped her and her boyfriend move into an apt last week.  We encouraged them to get a two bedroom which we are subsidizing.  My intuition told me that she might be relapsing and felt it was better if they had a two bedroom. 

I just saw a picture on FB bc it was her birthday yesterday and she looks worse.  (she was wearing a tank top) . When I was with her she is always cold so she is wearing layers.   

I am feeling very anxious. I feel she is in a very dangerous place.  Just a few days ago I was able to hack into her MyFitPal and I can see exactly what she has been eating and the calories that she is intaking.  1000-1300 and day.  I can also see her fit bit weekly reports and she is exercising burning about 2200 cals a day with one day rest a week.  (She does not know that I can access this info)

Perhaps it would be better if I post a new topic to include "Atlanta" into the topic title.  I also thought about calling some ED treatment clinics to see if they can recommend a physician.  But there again I do not now which treatment centers that operate on the most current information on ED.  I know how difficult and important it is to find a Doctor that understand the latest and will work with me.  

So feel job one is to get her boyfriend on board and to get her a physical urgently.

Is there any other ideas?  I am feeling desperate and scared.

Thank you for all you input.
Foodsupport_AUS

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Reply with quote  #6 
I can definitely understand your concerns. It does sound as though things are going down hill rapidly. Sorry I can't help you with someone in Atlanta. 
 I agree with you about the puzzling symptoms book, it is a good idea. If he is more interested in neuroscience then Carrie Arnold's Decoding Anorexia is a good read and relatively short. 


You are probably aware of this, but this forum is publicly searchable. Anyone can read it, with out logging in. You may not wish to have all the information on your post easily found. You can edit anything out by hitting the edit button. 

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D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
Teresa

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Posts: 20
Reply with quote  #7 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Teresa
Thank you Foodsupport_Aus, Kali, & hbeatsaUSA for replying so quickly.  

We have tried to talk to my daughter's boyfriend but I do not think he thinks that she has a problem.  I believe since October he has been trying to help her get the ABS that she wanted.  (He is a body builder and uses the bulk / cut method). I believe that he was helping her cut with the idea that she then would bulk-- but when it came time to bulking she is resisting saying she is afraid to gain and thinks she looks fat and continuing to cut.  He shared with us that when he tries to get her to eat more she says she cannot.  We think she is in this too deep.

We continue to talk to him confidentially not sure he understands yet.  My daughter has told him things about us (like we are the enemy - that we are alway trying make her eat more than she wants etc). and I feel that he is conflicted.  We are hoping to talk to him today and give him information from this web site.  We are trying to educate him and hope to talk to him today and share the "Puzzling symptoms" document.

I need to find a doctor in Atlanta that will work with me (hoping to get an appointment for a physical right away) I will fly to Atlanta to take her to it.  I am a teacher so I will speak to my principal to get time off so I can focus on helping my daughter.  

Since she's graduating we just helped her and her boyfriend move into an apt last week.  We encouraged them to get a two bedroom which we are subsidizing.  

I just saw a picture on FB bc it was her birthday yesterday and she looks worse.  (she was wearing a tank top) . When I was with her she is always cold so she is wearing layers.   

I am feeling very anxious. I feel she is in a very dangerous place.  

Perhaps it would be better if I post a new topic to include "Atlanta" into the topic title.  I also thought about calling some ED treatment clinics to see if they can recommend a physician.  But there again I do not now which treatment centers that operate on the most current information on ED.  I know how difficult and important it is to find a Doctor that understand the latest and will work with me.  

So feel job one is to get her boyfriend on board and to get her a physical urgently.

Is there any other ideas?  I am feeling desperate and scared.

Thank you for all you input.
sk8r31

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Reply with quote  #8 
So sorry that you are back here, and that your d is exhibiting such worrying symptoms.  You are right to be concerned, and it's a great idea to get the bf onside with information, since he can be a big support for your d.

Puzzling Symptoms and Decoding Anorexia are two good resources for him to start with.  In addition, Carrie Arnold, who wrote DC, had help from her parents as she overcame her eating disorder as a young adult.  So it can encourage your d and bf that having family help and support can be extremely useful to help her move into recovery as a young adult.

The Center for Balanced Living in Ohio has a 1-week program for young adults and family/friends support which has gotten great reviews from many on the forum.  That might be something to consider going forward.

Sending warm support,
sk8r31

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It is good to not only hope to be successful, but to expect it and accept it--Maya Angelou
scaredmom

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Posts: 388
Reply with quote  #9 

Hi I am just thinking out loud,


As her parent, I agree you need to go to her and help her get out of this. Her BF although, he is  trying to help, you say you don't feel he understands. It is hard enough for US to understand, so  I would help him learn but it is not his responsibility at this time, that is just my opinion- as he has not dealt with this before. He can help by supporting your efforts to help her. He may not "get it" yet. 
But you know what is needed. 
You seem very "activated" to getting her help and that is what matters right now. I hope you are able to get the time off to take care of her ASAP.  
As others have said, you have re fed her in the past and that is what may need to happen now. 

All the best,
XXX


feedingcaponsus

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Posts: 4
Reply with quote  #10 
Hello Teresa

I am in Atlanta and I recommend you call Dr. Anna Tanner at Veritas Collaborative. I sent you an email which hopefully you received. She’s the one who finally, accurately, diagnosed and got treatment for my daughter.

I don’t know if they treat 22 year olds or not, but hopefully they can send you in the right direction if not.

I included their phone number in the email, please let me know if you have trouble with it. You can also google Veritas Collaborative in Atlanta for the number.

Sending hope your way.
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