F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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tireddad Show full post »
Hi there. I am so sorry about how scary this is for all of you. I am glad she is being so closely monitored because as you say she can be admitted quickly if needed. Thinking of you. Xx

It is indeed scary when they are so ill.  Personally I would be pressing for hospitalisation right NOW.  If the meal support has proved so ineffective I doubt very much that they will fare better than you. 
She is eating so little.  It is no shame for her to be admitted. This is what she needs so that a whole team can work to break the back of the illness for you. I am sorry it is so hard for you. Don't let them waste any more time..just get her taken in. 
Believe you can and you're halfway there.
Theodore Roosevelt.
I agree with Melstev.  It sounds like she really needs a higher level of care, and sometimes a squeaky wheel is needed to make that happen.  Please keep us posted. xx

"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
Thinking of you @tireddad
Hope you are all ok.
Thinking of you too @tireddad.

We had a hospital admission and it was a huge positive step for us. And we had months of endless supervising of meals, feeling like we were making little progress but actually taking tiny but consistent steps towards nutritional rehabilitation. I hope you are getting the help and support you and your daughter need.

Warm wishes,

2015 12yo son restricting but no body image issues, no fat phobia; lost weight IP! Oct 2015 home, no progress. Medical hosp to kick start recovery Feb 2016. Slowly gaining at home, seeing signs of our real kid.

May 2017 Hovering around WR. Mood great, mostly. Summer 2017 Happy, first trip away in years, food variety, begin socialising. Sept 2017, back to school FT first time in 2 years. 2018 growing so fast hard to keep pace with weight. 2020 Off to university, healthy and happy.
  • Swedish proverb: Love me when I least deserve it because that's when I need it most.
  • We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence Recovery, then, is not an act but a habit. Aristotle.
  • If the plan doesn't work, change the plan but never the goal.
  • We cannot control the wind but we can direct the sail.
Thanks so much everyone. It's been a tough few days. D is still really struggling to eat much. We now have in home support three times a day, but I am not sure they are helping much. If she doesn't start eating even a little more then she will be admitted next week. She has also just started olanzapine following a meeting with the psychiatrist today. And she ate her pasta tonight. She has also started writing in a journal and has written out a list of things she wants to do when she gets better. This is the first talk of 'when she gets better'. Top of that list is stay out of hospital. She has been bright tonight and calm with much talk of getting better. Last night was the same but today started very badly indeed. It then improved a little, but still not enough food.  I don't know how this will go but we are taking it on.   
So tough... Sometimes in-patient care is a good thing. You'll get a full evaluation and assessment of what is happening, medication can be changed and monitored more easily. Our d hated the hospital and that in itself was a good motivation to change, she was very keen to get out and to not return. Your D probably has a huge battle going on inside her - wanting to eat and too fearful to eat. It also gives you and your family time to regroup and breathe. So tough for everyone!

Internal motivation is the key, but it is also the most difficult thing! If only we could give that!! It needs to be her motivation, her will to fight the ED, her ability to separate the ED thinking from herself, her ability to see the cost of the ED and the joys of living without ED, realizing she doesn't want to keep the ED. You know the saying to be "sick and tired of being sick and tired". But when she is tired and thin and pale and refusing food/drink - it is heart breaking! They cannot think clearly, they are lost and confused and trapped within their disorder. So tough!

But you can help by loving her through it all. Love her, watch movies with her, do life together. Find a daily show to watch together every night as your special Dad-daughter time. Stay strong as husband and wife. Support each other. Support and love your other kids. You can do this. You are not alone.

There is always hope.

relapse is so hard 
we/I got  all the weight on my d  (Took 6 difficult months) then she relapsed big time lost all her weigh plus more 
at this stage we had her admitted IP
if you can’t get the weight on her I wouldn’t muck around, they seem to get more entrenched as time goes by
im not sure how long you’ve been at the refeeding but honestly if her ED is very strong you may need higher level of care 
this is not failure 
some kids just get a tougher strain than others I believe 
we waited and my d paid the price and learnt more and more tricks 
if they are offering higher care I would take it
just my opinion tho