F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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MarcellaUK Show full post »
I occurs to me that many times when people die, the survivors sit back and say, oh, I should have told them how much I loved them and how much they meant to me.  

In this case, I think Charlotte felt the love while she was still here and that is a testament to how people communicate on this forum which is also a testament to Charlotte, who was so open and honest and helpful.

You will be missed dear Charlotte.  No one can fill your shoes, but we will keep on keepin' on.

97% recovered, living a full life
I had limited personal contact with Charlotte, yet through this forum and by following her blog, I came to admire her greatly.  She was an exceptional woman in so many ways, including her amazing wit - even as she was drawn deeper into her final illness, she kept her sense of humor and humanity.  One of her many gifts is an example of how to die with dignity and humanity.  
17 yr old d dx RAN in June 2013.   W/R in Jan. 2014; as of May 2014- independently and doing well.  Read more at Paula-Ponders.com
I haven't posted for a while and just saw this very sad thread. Charlotte was one of the first to welcome me and help me use ATDT Forum ....she was there in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep for worry, she was a guardian angel to us all. She will be missed by so many but always remembered, in Charlottes Helix her legacy will go on. Rest in peace dear Charlotte x
Wow, I cry as I read these posts. A wonderful woman has been lost.   What grace, wisdom and strength she had. The world is a poorer place because of her passing.  I just can't help but think that there is now an angel who will watch over the children and the families suffering through this disease. 

Tonight, I too light a candle in her honor.  I know that I certainly would not have the strength or my sanity if it were not for the people on this board ... and she was a wise one.
USA .... I forgot my password! [wink] 

Mom to 16yo RAN. 1 hospitalization, 2 residential stays, twice in PHP and IOP (same program, different times) Now in therapy and recently WR.
I, too, am grieving hard over the loss of our darling Charlotte. I can only write this after days of sadness and inability to collect my thoughts. She started on this forum about 5 months after I did, back in 2009. I have read her every post here, and have laughed and cried and despaired and celebrated with her every step of our journeys to bring our daughters back to health. I was impressed with her openness and her decision eventually to use her real name here and all over the internet, talking to any one who would listen (and many who didn't want to) about eating disorders and how they are not a choice. She posted often and was such a great inspiration and support to so many of us. And she got us laughing often with her ridiculous sense of humor and wry British style of conversation.

She was a force of nature who has done so much good for so many people with her posts here, her blog, FB posts, films, book and the way she compassionately reached out directly to contact desperate parents. I also loved the way she fearlessly confronted establishments which were hurting, rather than helping, sufferers in their care. Charlotte always said it like it is, regardless of what others thought, damn the torpedoes. And she connected with my own daughter via FB and was so very sweet to her, complimenting her on the way she thinks and expresses herself. Yet another reason to adore Charlotte! And Charlotte's Helix is brilliant and will contribute to the scientific knowledge of anorexia. I gladly donated to that cause.

I never met her face-to-face, although I and many others of us in F.E.A.S.T. would have met her at the first conference, if cancer had not stricken her at that time. But I DID meet her mind-to-mind and heart-to-heart, which are the much more important ways of meeting someone after all. Good-bye, dear Charlotte.
Daughter age 28, restrictive anorexia (RAN) age 11-18, then alternating RAN with binge eating disorder and bulimia with laxatives, is in remission from EDs for 3 years after finally finding effective individual therapy. Treatment continues for comorbid disorders of anxiety, ADD and depression. "Perseverance, secret of all triumphs." Victor Hugo
I too needed a few days to process Charlotte's death before I could sit down and bumble my way through my feelings about her passing.

I am angry that she had to die from cancer and that her family has to go on without her. It just isn't fair or right that such a wonderful person had to die in the prime of her life. There ought to be a cosmic law that once a family goes through an Ed, they have fulfilled their quota of suffering.

Like most people here, I never met Charlotte in person. We served together on the initial FEAST Board and shared ideas over phone conferences. We also chatted a couple of times over FB and I greeted her over Skype at the first FEAST conference, which we were saddened to know that she couldn't attend due to her cancer treatments. We also commiserated over our shared weirdness with strange allergies.

When I heard of Charlotte's Helix, I immediately knew that I would donate my birthday to it. I had originally planned to give the donation on my birthday, but as time started running out, I sent in the contribution so that I could give it in honor of Charlotte instead of in her remembrance. This gives me a tiny bit of consolation, that she saw the numbers of donations to her beloved Charlotte's Helix rise while she was still alive.

Charlotte was so unique, witty and funny! She was a force of nature but could also be extremely nurturing. When I think of Charlotte, I think of two words: BREATHE and BIG girl pants! I also remember when she first got into Twitter, determined that she was going to conquer it and she did, using her Twitter account as a tool of war in her mission to defeat Eds and get people the help that they needed.

I miss her so much. I miss her blog, her FB/Twitter posts, the ATDT posts where she would say BREATHE! Some people just have a presence wherever they go. Charlotte's presence was felt at ATDT and now there is a big void.

Rest in peace Charlotte. Thank you for what you gave to me and to the world.
21 year old daughter who was DX with RAN at 9 years old. The work of recovery is ongoing. 

I am so glad I started this thread (whinge)- it seems we all needed it.

Oh cow dung, pigsbrains and swede dumplings

Poo bah humbug smelly rotten yucky weebrain to ED!

Pooey bananas to ED

English perspective.  There is no one we like seeing beaten at cricket more than Australia.


Sometimes we all need a pity party

Oh pooey

Don't panic.  Breathe.

I'm taking Hugh Laurie and I am NOT sharing!

Yaba Daba Doo

G14 - I love you to bits.

Ditto Charlotte.xxxxx


I saw Charlotte build a team around 'Mum-in-Scotland', blog about her, spend hours perusing records, phoning, so that a child would finally get the treatment she needed and so that a mother would be heard and believed.

This is at a time Charlotte was also blogging about how the meds or the pain were stopping her from sleeping, from concentrating, etc. Or were making her drowsy. Or were stopping her from typing.

I could see that contributing to others was hugely meaningful to her at a time when for others, life could have boiled down to being a cancer sufferer. I was in awe at the dedication and energy she put into caring.
Eva Musby, mother, author, produces lots of resources for parents at https://anorexiafamily.com and on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/user/EvaMusby/playlists
Oh Colleen...you've said it so perfectly..."best friend you've never met."  I've needed some time to process the loss of this amazing woman who so many of us loved.  I am not sure we will ever stop missing that witty, sassy, brilliant, hilarious woman!  I can never express my gratitude for the privilege of "knowing" Charlotte and her wise, practical and outrageous perspective.  She was a one-of-a-kind, to be sure!  Thinking of Laura, Mamame, and others of you whose hearts are still breaking.  Virtual hugs and so much love, all around.
I haven't posted for a long time and saw this very sad news. It's so hard to believe that our dear Charlotte is not with us anymore. She was there for me as well as for everyone else, when I needed help right after my post no matter what time of day or night it was.
She was truly an angel and will be missed a lot, but Charlotte helix will go on, and yes, she will be in our hearts and minds.  

Rest in peace my dear Charlotte, and thank you for all your incredible help.