F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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MarcellaUK
Charlotte Bevan, stalwart of this forum, scourge of idiot psychiatrists, supporter of, and inspiration to, thousands world wide, died this morning.

As her dear friend Laura has posted on her blog she was insistent that we can do this without her. Indeed we have to.  But for now that doesn't seem possible. For now we weep.

Rest in Peace dear Charlotte
[charlotte+in+pink+in+paris]


Fiona Marcella UK
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OzilUK
So sad - the world is a poorer place today.
Mother of 19 year old, in recovery and making good progress.
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dc
It is a really sad news. I think a lot of people on this forum have read her posts and have been inspired by her wisdom. Go well, thank you so much!

From the picture on her blog, she still looks young and healthy to me and I wonder what caused her death.
19 yr old d Dx Feb 2012. WR June 2012. Now she is in Phase III and enjoy her study and activities. Try to give the control back to her but still keep vigilant. 
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"The darkest night is often the bridge to the brightest tomorrow."
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MarcellaUK
Hi dc

Charlotte was indeed young, far too young, but breast cancer is an evil thing and took her from us. The photo was from a couple of years back before it had hurt her, but she was beautiful always.
Fiona Marcella UK
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lostmum
Dc Charlotte battled cancer and the picture was taken prior to her becoming ill.
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FaithKeepsMeGoing
I'm so sad.  Charlotte's daughter became ill with ed only a few months before my own daughter did, but when I first came to this forum in December 2009, her posts were so filled with wisdom and confidence that I felt like she'd fought the battle against ed and won it years earlier.  I can truly say that Charlotte (and Laura) played such a huge role in helping me to nurse my daughter back to health.  The world has lost a beautiful woman who was so willing to reach out to others in their pain. 

I pray for her family in this time of grief.  I'm grieving, too.

And thank you to all the wonderful warriors who have taken the reins from Charlotte to provide support to the families who are now fighting this horrible battle against ed. 

The Irish tell the story of a man who arrives at the gates of Heaven and asks to be let in.  St. Peter says, “Of course. Show us your scars.”  But the man replies, “I have no scars.”   St. Peter shakes his head and says, “What a pity. Was there nothing worth fighting for?”

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GiveMeStrength_US
I will now have a cup of tea and a tissue and imagine Charlotte's arm around my shoulder, telling me to "breathe" and put my big girl pants on.  She was amazing and her love, support, honesty, humor and warmth helped so many of us, near and far.  I am a richer person for having known her and I hope that her entire family and friends find comfort in knowing what an amazing person she was and how many people she helped in her lifetime.
Mom to D 21 in November, behaviors started at 15, hospitalized at 16, IP at 17, FBT at almost 18. Finished second year in college; now abroad in treatment program to deal with co-morbids.
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peregrine_USA
Thank you for posting this very sad news.  I never met her yet she supported me so much, directly and indirectly these past years.  Her contributions were immense to those of us who are parents/family members/friends.  May she rest in peace and may her family receive continued support. -- Peregrine
Peregrine_USA
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perdido
Many people have been so instrumental to my daughters recovering, but Charlotte was so firm with me and insistent on so many things. Hard things that she knew I could do that didn't have faith in. Not fair, the world has lost someone precious.
Slow and steady
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mamabear
I am lighting a candle. So saddened. My mom is a breast cancer survivor.

Thank you for all of your kindness and fortitude Charlotte. May you watch over your children always.
Persistent, consistent vigilance!
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AlwaysHopeful_CH
I am lighting a candle here too.  We will create a band of light around the world and carry the message forward.

Fly free dear Charlotte, fly free.

xx
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mom26kids
What a sad day, but what a legacy she has left - all the lives saved by her work!! Prayers for her family and for all of us who have benefitted from her persistance and wisdom.ED is the only one without a tear...
mom26kids
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Amoma
Lighting a candle here too for Charlotte. The world lost a tireless advocate for the most vulnerable. Sending love and heartfelt condolences to her precious family...
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Colleen
I've lost the best friend I've never met.
Colleen in the great Pacific Northwest, USA

"What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease."
Alexander Pope, 1688-1744
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BattyMatty_UK
I remember her swooping in at the speed of light, in early summer 2010, when I put up a post here about my (then, deep in ED) son having attempted to climb onto the house roof. She swooped in at some unearthly hour of the morning, rounding up a team of wonderful mums from this forum to support me and help me to cope. Ditto on several other occasions. And most people on this forum will remember Charlotte as the UK mum that usually swooped in with a welcome plus sage help and advice shortly after they'd posted their first post here. She was The Most Amazing Person: caring, loving, feisty, kind, selfless, funny, friendly and with a wicked sense of humour. Even towards the end, her devastatingly sad blog posts often had an injection of her wicked humour in them, often about the wonderful medical staff that were caring for her - something they'd said and done that made her chuckle. Families across the world will miss her, as will this forum. And our thoughts and prayers go out to her loving family and especially her girls.

Here is a link to my very first post, back in March 2010. Charlotte (then calling herself cjbSuffolk) was the second person to respond on the day I posted. And that was just the start of the amazing support I received from her.

What an angel (in the truest sense...)
Bev Mattocks, mother of 24-year old male DX with RAN 2009, now recovered. Joined this forum in 2010 - it was a lifesaver.
 
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Wantingthebest
It will take an army to take on what she was able to do - but we will multiply into a thousand armies in CHARLOTTE BEVANS honor! I will be going back into this Forum to the Winter of 2011 when I first came here while fighting my daughters AN to revisit her words of encouragement, wisdom, strength. I'm sure I am still carrying those words in my supporting others now who are in the trenches. 
Now 18, daughter preparing for college away, and 2 plus years of a slow, steady but bumpy road to recovery from AN. Hopeful.
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GiveMeStrength_US
Everyone should wear a pair of these today in honor of Charlotte - this was what she sent me back in July 2012:

[image]
Mom to D 21 in November, behaviors started at 15, hospitalized at 16, IP at 17, FBT at almost 18. Finished second year in college; now abroad in treatment program to deal with co-morbids.
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Enfys_UK
Charlotte was the first (of many!) welcoming voices when I first joined this forum desperate to help my son.  What a wonderful person she was.

Although I never met her I considered her my friend.  I'm sure many of you feel the same.

Heartfelt condolences to all her family and friends.

The world has lost a very special person today.

love to you all

Sally
xxxx

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lynneUKmum_UK
I reiterate here what I sent to Laura,

Charlotte meant a great deal to all of us who fought the fight and are fighting still, and even though I didn't know her personally, I had the benefit of many Facebook chats with her over the years. She came onto this forum a year after I did and she completely seemed to take over! Her humour, wisdom and ability to fight the fight and take on the health professionals will forever be etched in my heart.
My wonderful recovered AN daughter Rachel ran the 'race for life' for her back in the summer after Charlotte discovered her devastating news, raising over £150 for Cancer Research with 'Big girl pants, Charlotte" written on her vest! The Eating Disorder world was and continues to be a better place for Charlotte being in it, and I hope and pray that her words of wisdom will continue to help others who didn't have the benefit of her wit and humour and that this will be her lasting legacy to us all for many years to come. Her personal blog was the first thing I turned to at work each day for her inspirational words and her honesty in fighting her breast cancer not once but twice was truly an honour to read even if a little painful in its honesty.
My thoughts are with her darling girls, HWISO and her family. I too will light a candle for Charlotte tonight and hope that if we all do the same around the world, then somewhere she will see the lights shining just for her and her family will be able to be strong because we are all holding them up.
With all my love Lynne xxxxxx
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Psycho_Mom
I will be thinking of Charlotte today, who helped me a good deal with a few simple words.
And in her spirit, I am going now to wake up d with a really big life-giving breakfast.
love,
D diagnosed with EDNOS May 2013 at age 15, refed at home Aug 2013, since then symptoms gradually lessened and we retaught her how to feed and care for herself, including individual therapy, family skills DBT class, SSRI medication and relapse-prevention strategies. Anxiety was pre-existing and I believe she was sporadically restricting since about age 9. She now eats and behaves like any normal older teen, and is enjoying school, friends, sports, music and thinking about the future.
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Amoma
ps I just sent a donation to Charlotte's Helix foundation via FEAST, please do the same.
It is simple and easy for US and UK folks and others around the world as well.
xoxo
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YogurtParfait_US
Charlotte was there for me, a hand of knowledge and comfort across time zones. I am very grateful to her.

Goodbye, Charlotte! I hope to see you again someday, when I also am finished with my work here.
"Hope is a wonderful thing ... but hope by itself is not enough. Hope is the reason to take action, to make a plan and then to change the plan when it isn’t working - over and over and over again if necessary." Hannah Joseph (Let's Feast Friday Reflection, "Just Keep Going," Friday, March 3rd, 2015)
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anotherbite_CAN
The world seems dimmer today so lighting candles is apropos.   I do feel, as cliched as it may sound, that there is a piece of Charlotte living (and shining) in my girl.   Charlotte lived a life that made a difference.  I am grateful and humbled to have crossed paths. 
D dx at 10 years old in June 2011. She is now 16 and happy and healthy.  We were IP for 8 weeks and then refed at home for what felt like forever.  We chased vertical growth for years...as is typical for the age.
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Bontoplen_USA
Vary sad news,she will always be remembered.
Bontoplen
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BattyMatty_UK
I have just blogged about dear Charlotte, just what came into my head, because she has been on my mind ever since I got the news at lunchtime today: http://anorexiaboyrecovery.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/on-9th-march-2010-i-discovered-around.html
Bev Mattocks, mother of 24-year old male DX with RAN 2009, now recovered. Joined this forum in 2010 - it was a lifesaver.
 
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