F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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• Road To Recovery - Stories of Hope
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My 26 year old d is about to return to university after a year do medical leave. I am concerned that she is not ready to handle the responsibilities that go along with her Ph.D program. She was released from inpatient treatment beginning of May weighing 126 lbs. She is 5.7. H and I agreed to let her come home until we find a facility that focuses on treating long term sexual abuse and ED. We adopted her after the age of 18 from another country. I don't know how it happened but she talked us into letting her stay at home. she was crying constantly and feared being unwanted and pushed away. we thought her mood and ED behaviors have gotten so much better but now I know that she is about 110 lbs, stopped seeing a RD regularly and is lying when it comes to eating. I find food thrown away in the garbage and see her clothes getting smaller and smaller again. she insists never to become that sick again and that she loves eating now. I know she has to go back to school but I see her being tormented by her past and ED. Her psychiatrist put her on zyprexa 10 mg last week but she read the side effects and is not taking it. However she claims to do so and says the side effects like headaches are too bad and that's why she needs to stop taking it. I am at the end of my knowledge. Personally for my sanity I can't have this start all over again. I can not keep her like this.
Welcome. I am so sorry you and your d are still suffering. We have a few parents with daughters in their late 20s here, as well as adoptive parents who will be along to share their experience soon. In the meantime, have a good read around FEAST and ATDT.
The future is not set; there is no fate but that which we make for ourselves.

"Not my daughter, you bitch." Mrs. Weasley
Thank you Red! That makes me feel less alone!

I am very sorry about your daughter. I can so relate.

My daughter is now 26.

She acquired anorexia and depression while at university.

We fortunately found out about it and got her into IP treatment.

Biggest mistake was allowing her to go back to university after three months of IP.

My husband and I were dead set against it, but her bio dad over-ruled us.

She relapsed in a big way and entered her second IP much, much worse than she went first time.

It was hell to try to get her back to treatment.

And it was hell for all of us while she was getting treatment.

She came close to dying.

We got her back to IP for 3 months then onto partial for 2 months and then onto IOP for another 2 months.

After that, she spent much time with outpatient treatment.

What we learned is -

with anorexia, complete weight restoration is very important.

Without it, behaviors tend to continue.

Weight goals tend to be set too low.

The sufferer cannot help behaving in the ways that they do. It's the disease.

My daughter has been out of formal treatment for over 3.5 years and since then, she has lived at home with support from us.

It's been a rocky road to remission but she is doing pretty well right now.

She is weight restored and has held a job for nearly 3.5 years.

She is happy and healthy.

I am wishing you to make sound decisions on behalf of your daughter when she cannot make those sound decisions on her own.

Cathy V.
Southern California