F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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ruralmomUSA
Hi,

Don't want to hijack your thread Carnation. Was wondering, for those of you who have had direct experience, if the UCSD and Center for Balanced Living week long programs provide adequate meal plans and weight goals.  I've considered both for our d, fiance and us but am concerned about those two issues.  Our current team has admitted there is no meal plan (basically our d's ED is dictating to them) and they have reduced her previous weight goals (basically to match what she weighs now).  She was about 10 pounds heavier after being released from ERC Denver 18 months ago and we think that's where she should remain.  Are having a hard time working with our current team collaboratively.  They are not providing us with information to let us help support her.  Thanks and I can start a new thread if that's more appropriate.
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deenl
Hi ruralmom,

I am not in the US but have you searched for these terms.

Also under the Categories above there is a closed forum where people share experiences of the different facilities.

Best of luck,
D
2015 12yo son restricting but no body image issues, no fat phobia; lost weight IP! Oct 2015 home, no progress. Medical hosp to kick start recovery Feb 2016. Slowly gaining at home, seeing signs of our real kid.

May 2017 Hovering around WR. Mood great, mostly. Summer 2017 Happy, first trip away in years, food variety, begin socialising. Sept 2017, back to school FT first time in 2 years. 2018 growing so fast hard to keep pace with weight. 2020 Off to university, healthy and happy.
  • Swedish proverb: Love me when I least deserve it because that's when I need it most.
  • We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence Recovery, then, is not an act but a habit. Aristotle.
  • If the plan doesn't work, change the plan but never the goal.
  • We cannot control the wind but we can direct the sail.
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Kali
Hi Ruralmom,

Here is a link to an interesting TED talk about ED given by Dr. Laura Hill of the Ohio program.
I have been on the phone with them since I want to have some good ideas to pull out of my bag of anti ED options if things get difficult again with my d. in the coming months. My impression is that I think it could really be a helpful program to help jumpstart/motivate someone who might need some additional support. They seemed both knowledgable and kind. They offered to set up a phone q and a with Dr. Hill for my d. and I but I did not do it since we are waiting to see how things will go here at home with her and she is currently in a php program. The run the program once each month I believe it is the 2nd week of the month.



As far as meal plans, we are working from a meal plan at the moment. This is how her RTC did it. D. sat down and identified 6 or 7 different meals for each category that she would want to eat. (breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks) and the nutritionist took a look and then made suggestions and approved. The suggestions had to have the correct caloric intake as well as a daily full range of the different food groups. Then when she came home, we created a binder where we place the recipes for each meal she likes, as well as a copy of her meal plan. That makes it easy to see: Are there enough calories and a variety of different food groups in her daily meals? What size portions should she be taking at each meal? Then on Sundays, we sit down and she chooses her food for the week and it is easy to shop for since I have all the ingredients listed in the binder. I am encouraging her to pick additional recipes each week, maybe one or two more, so that we can add variety to the overall meal plan. Can you talk with your ds nutritionist and try to get her on board with something like this?

So far this is helpful. Maybe you can try sitting down with your d. and creating a meal plan? Finding out the amount of calories she would need to maintain/or gain weight is important in order for the meal plan to work. I can tell you that my d. was advised to have 2200 calories a day in order to maintain her current weight and she is 5'3" and weight restored. The caloric breakdown is 600 for breakfast, and 700 for lunch, 700 for dinner, and 200 for a snack. If there comes a time she needs to gain weight back, she has agreed to drink 3 ensures a day for an extra 900 calories daily. 
 
Kali

Food=Love
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ruralmomUSA
Thanks so much for the great advice.  I've actually seen Dr. Hill speak and we saw her briefly over the course of 6 months when our d was younger.  Enrolling in her in the adult program is an option. I've tried suggesting something similar to what you are doing with your d to the dietitian and for whatever reason, she is not willing to develop a meal plan.  She says she is working with my d on a "balanced diet."  So far that's not working as I can visually tell my d has lost weight and now is not having a period.  Not sure what to do at this point.  Getting a ton of backlash from my d- to be expected- but feel like I'm the only one confronting the ED.  Am tired of being the bad guy and finding that without full team support this isn't going to work.  
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ruralmomUSA
oops. Meant to ask what is RTC?
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jdATX
I attended the Center for Balanced Living's 5 day treatment program with my wife in late 2015. We found it very helpful overall. We had a meal plan going in but they helped add variety to it & the contract they had us do has really helped minimize my wife's resistance to following it, even as it has been adjusted to add additional calories as she has progressed through the refeeding process (she had a crazy fast metabolism even before the ED & refeeding has only made it faster). They didn't give us an exact weight range but I think that is rather individualized; in my wife's case they felt it would be more helpful for her to accept that her "goal weight" would be a moving target of sorts & would need to be reassessed through-out the recovery process & would ultimately be determined by her home treatment team based on a variety of factors (which were all specified in the contract).

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