F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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syd07
Our daughter went from 50kg to 62kg. Was eating all meals then we went on a holiday and she ate everything and more. We arrived home on Thursday and since then has not eaten a single mouthful - 72 hours without eating (although is drinking a glass of water each meal).
What can we do - we are mortified and mystified? Can someone help please.
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EDAction
Hi syd07,

It sounds like your D needs to be seen tomorrow by her doctor or, if that's not possible, in the Emergency Room.  Such severe restriction can result in serious medical complications.  And it lets your D know that this is serious and you are taking it seriously.

Our D started losing weight quickly after coming back from a vacation where she also "ate everything and more".  When we returned she began restricting.  That was when her weight started spiraling downward.  Shortly afterwards she was diagnosed with anorexia.

Would you share more information?  For example, when did she go from 50kg to 62kg?  

I'm so sorry this is happening.  It is frightening.  Please take her to the doctor/ER tomorrow and let us know what happens.

DD diagnosed with anorexia at 14; FBT at home with the help of psychologist and medical dr; 3+ years later and doing well (knock on wood)
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syd07
Thanks EDAction.

Our D was hospitalised mid July at 50kgs. She spent 3 weeks there & returned home where refeeding continued as we got to 62kg.

We have a Drs appoinment tomorrow. My question is how do we get her eating again?
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Foodsupport_AUS
Welcome to the forum. Sorry that you have had to find your way here. It is great that your managed to continue to refeed at home after your D's initial hospitalisation. It is not at all uncommon however for there to be set backs along the way. 

You ask how do you get her eating again?

The answer is, the same way she started eating before. She is required to do so, and feels as though there is no choice. Try to reason with her is unlikely to be helpful, given her acute food refusal it is likely her ED is very strong at the moment and stopping her from being able to eat. If sitting with her and insisting she get started does not work, then with three days without any food she requires urgent clinical assessment and may need hospitalisation. 


D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13. Mostly recovered 10 years later.  Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
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Kali
Dear Syd07,

So sorry you have to join us here but very impressed by the progress you made getting your daughter from 50kg to 62kg.
If you have done that once you will be able to continue to help her, I'm sure. This illness can have setbacks and it becomes very disappointing and scary to parents when things seem to be going well for awhile and then.....difficulty eating again. I'm glad to hear that you have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow because food refusal is very serious.

I have a couple of suggestions.
Can you call ahead to the doctor and let him/her know what has happened with the food refusal. Are you able to discuss a plan with the dr. for situations such as this before the appointment, where after one day of not being able to eat she will need to go back to the hospital and have the dr. reinforce this plan at the appointment to her?

While you were on vacation was there swimming/bathing suits, etc? If so, it is possible that may have triggered this since she most likely feels "fat" and perhaps you might want to consider having different types of vacations in the future while she is still working towards remission, if this was the case. We had a situation this summer where my d. was at the highest weight she had been at with her present team, and then we went on a vacation which involved swimming and bathing suits, and sure enough, the urge to lose weight and restriction seems to have intensified afterward.

For today I would try to start with serving her "safe" foods. Can you think back to the last foods she ate/stopped eating before she needed to be hospitalized last time? Serve those since they may be the easiest foods for her to eat when she is struggling, and then broaden her diet back to where she was before, perhaps slowly over a few days after she successfully eats again. 

warmly,

Kali 



Food=Love
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sk8r31
Hi syd07,

How have you & your d been doing over the past day or so?  Hopefully, you have been able to serve some 'safe' foods as Kali has suggested, and most importantly had your d evaluated medically.

As a general rule of thumb, 24 hours without drinking or 48 hours without eating are grounds for an ER evaluation and possible admission.  Things can go south very quickly, and it is important that your d be seen by a medical provider now if she hasn't been in the past day.

It is very encouraging indeed that you have been successful with weight gain this past summer, and I have no doubt that you will be successful again.  It may take some outside help to kickstart things if your d is medically compromised.

Please let us know how all is going.

Sending strength and support,
sk8r31
It is good to not only hope to be successful, but to expect it and accept it--Maya Angelou
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HateEDwithApassion
I wonder if the anxiety over letting herself eat heartily on vacation has made her angry with herself (well, ED is angry with her) and guilting her/bullying her. And as she moves toward a healthier weight, the anxiety over a changing body, possible swimsuit or comparison to others, etc. It could be any number of things but I know for my D, vacations were always difficult once diagnosed. I'm not sure why, but they always caused a problem during or after.  

How old is your D? If she's a minor, you can compel her in many ways to eat. Incent her with something she wants. Not necessarily monetary, but screen time or phone time or time doing something with you she enjoys. I too agree that two days of not eating means something needs to happen ASAP and she needs to know that if she stops eating, you will not back down, but take steps to get her eating again. 
19 yo D. AN - since about 15 years old. WR quickly - but the last four years have been tough. Since Sept. 2017, two residential stays, now in IOP, fighting a relapse. ED is hanging on, mental state not great, can't get her to remain at a weight long enough or high enough to see mental healing. She's on a gap year that will likely now turn into two.
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syd07
Thank you all Community.
Our D has been re-admitted to hospital and whilst that's horrible at least we were able to sleep last night.

Thanks again all.
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Kali
Dear Syd07,

It is always heartbreaking and frightening when our kids need to be admitted but she is safe and hopefully, this will get her back on track to start eating again and she will get the care she needs.

Hang in there, (and get some good nights of sleep [smile]

Kali
Food=Love
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Mamaroo
Hi Syd07
I'm glad she is in a safe place and that you are able to get some peace. You were able to refed her once and you'll do it again. Sending you best wishes!!!
D became obsessed with exercise at age 9 and started eating 'healthy' at age 9.5. Restricting couple of months later. IP for 2 weeks at age 10. Slowly refed for months on Ensures alone, followed by swap over with food at a snails pace. WR after a year at age 11 in March 2017. View my recipes on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKLW6A6sDO3ZDq8npNm8_ww
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