F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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Steviasun
Hi...my son who will be 18 in January..history of AN..diagnosed at 14..I've been watching ED sneak in..when I confront it..son says he's not in relapse..missing meals..full lunchbox in his bedroom..weeks of just super noodles and crisps..lost weight..He is also has diabetes..signed off children's services already..no body in place for mental health...just started accessing college through the support of priory..DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO...im soooooo tired of this...he has an 9 yr old sister...
Mum of 14 yr old son with AN.  [image]
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ValentinaGermania
Hi steviasun,
sorry that you have to be here again. Can you help us remember where you are?
Tina72
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Steviasun
I'm in South West of England
Mum of 14 yr old son with AN.  [image]
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ValentinaGermania
Is that a relapse? Was he recovered before? Can you call cahms?
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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ValentinaGermania
Is he seeing a GP for diebetes where he can be weighed to see how much the weight loss already is?

If he has a relapse and already lost weight on a higher level you may need to stop college as long as he is in a healthy state again.
It is normal that he does not see he has a problem. Sorry to say that.

If it is just a small relapse and he has not lost much weight already it may be enough to set rules to continue college (for example 3 meals and 2-3 snacks and at least breakfast and dinner eaten at home every day).

I can imagine how tired you are and how sick of this all. But I think you do not need to go back to square one, what you now need is to have a good relapse intervention and then some relapse prevention for the next years.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Steviasun
I let the dibetes nurse know of my concerns in July..she was however dismissive/inexperienced with ED and focused more on transition meeting...I have emailed consultants secratary as i see now ive been holding my breath...keeping my fingers crossed...thinking that finally since he is in college he may see things differently...it's not ED it's fussy eating...it will be sorted once in college...
My gut feeling is we need intervention/ back up plan..

Mum of 14 yr old son with AN.  [image]
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ValentinaGermania
I think your gut feeling is VERY GOOD. Transition to college is very difficult for them, we are in the same state with University at the moment and my d strugges to eat at the mensa when nobody joins her. Ask Camhs for help and get him weighed and seen by GP soon. You need to know wether he is already in a dangerous state. We do not see them naked normally at that age and that makes it more difficult to see how thin they already are...

Try to stay calm and not to panic. I think you recognized it at an early state and now all he needs is someone who helps him to get back on track.
Call it ED or fussy eating, all not normal behaviour with eating is an alarm bell for an AN patient. You are a smart mom that you recognized so early that there is something going on again.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Enn

Steviasun,
So sorry you need to find yourself here again.
This sounds quite serious especially with diabetes. There is a thing called Diabulimia where patients with ED also with hold their insulin for weight loss. Is he still taking insulin and are his sugars good? I presume, given his age he is a Type1 diabetic. 

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-diabulimia-4165837

If he is not taking insulin or enough he is at high risk of diabetic ketoacidosis, which can be life threatening. I don't want to scare you. 
I wish to inform. 
So I don't have an adult child, but I have seen how the parents use leverage to get the child to treatment. Do you pay for phone, school, transportation?
Does his old ED team still have contact with him? Can you get him seen by ED team? Can you withhold privileges from him so that he may get assessed?
Others will be here shortly, I know, who have more experience with adult kids.

I hope we can give you some support and information to help you. 
XXX

When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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Foodsupport_AUS
Sorry that you have needed to come back. That sounds very worrying. I am sure you are right that there are things to be concerned about. It is of course normal for this illness that there is denial of the severity of the symptoms. Making sure his diabetes is well managed is incredibly important as scaredmom has said. I guess the first thing to suggest is working out what resources you have to hand along with what leverage there is to move forward. If the diabetes nurse has no idea is there  a clinician or GP who you can contact or educate to help him get the treatment that he needs? It still comes back to putting those firm boundaries in place and insisting on keeping him safe from himself. 
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13. Initially weight restored 2012. Relapse and continuously edging towards recovery. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
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Enn

Hi Steviasun,
How are you?

Thinking of you,
XXX

When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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