F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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So, whether the depression & anxiety came first (probably) or the ED is like asking about the chicken and the egg.

I feel as parents we are (or should be) armed and competent to cope with the feeding (and minimising vomiting) side of things, to get D's weight back up to a level where her brain might start to heal.

However, we are still as floundering as much as ever with D's depression, and I don't know how to help.  Most of the time you don't see it; she is usually outwardly reasonably cheerful, sometimes difficult/rude to immediate family, sometimes we have freak-outs of varying size over food.  But when I do get a fleeting glimpse, it is so painful.

D cut herself a few times several months ago, until we locked the knives away.  Then there seemed to be a period of not self-harming, but now she has found ways to rub or scratch her arm and hand, to cause quite a nasty "carpet burn" effect.  The triggers don't seem necessarily to be food, or an alternative to vomiting up the food; upsets with friends have also been responsible, a bad test score, an upsetting conversation about the suffragette suicide.  There seems to be an element of punishment involved.

I don't want her to stay this unhappy, indefinitely, waiting for the refeeding and talking therapy to slowly do their trick.  Especially as we've just been told the private therapist is likely to be off sick for several weeks and she may not get anyone else in the interim.  I'm thinking of asking the CAMHS psychiatrist to assess D again, with a view to whether she should/be put on medication.
D, b.2002, diagnosed with depression, anxiety and EDNOS Spring/Summer 2016.
Some restricting, some vomiting, some self-harm for good measure.
FBT, CBT, now on 3rd type of anti-d's.
D is "cured" of the ED but still on low dose of anti-d's. Will I ever be cured?

I understand cbmum. Often these kids have so many other struggles going on that its hard to know what to treat. Our daughter has struggled in similar ways as yours, triggers that cause behaviors that are very damaging. Yes I agree an element of punishment is often involved and often it's hard to believe they even think or process that way. The current food issues we are dealing with is a response to an environment that is upsetting and can't be controlled (grades, struggles with friends) so I think it's so important to get at the root and help them be able to learn how to handle life's upsets. That's why I'm really looking into dbt. Also I think medication can be helpful. I'm not sure anyone wants to go that route, but if it can help it should be explored. It's hard to start with new therapist but wouldn't recommend not having it for several weeks. If current thepaist isn't great maybe good time to explore new one.