F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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Joel65
Hello, this forum has been so helpful with insight for helping my D. I'm not very tech-savy, so apologies for any mistakes. I threatened taking my 17 yr old D to the hospital if she didn't start eating, and my D just started eating non-stop all day every day. She gained more than 60 pounds in 2 months, went from a body mass index of 10.7 to 19+ (I took her scale away). I didn't realize how bad she had gotten. My question is, her weight went on VERY oddly and went mostly to her face and stomach. She tells me she looks chubby, and I hate to say I agree, but I never tell her. I know that it's supposed to redistribute, but it hasn't happened yet and it's causing her a LOT of distress. What should I tell her to convince her it will change? She doesn't believe me. Thank you!
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Enn
Hi Joel65,
Welcome. I do hope you find the resources you require.
I just have some questions if I may? 
does your d have a proper diagnosis of an Ed? Is she under the care of a specialist for ED and a team? Has the team been helpful for you and her? What are their thoughts so far about her rapid gain? 
Unfortunately there is not much you can say to make her feel better right now. But learning to tolerate hers and your own distress can be helpful for the time being. Over time things may right themselves. 
It is interesting that she just started eating when you threatened hospitalization and gained so much in such a short period. 
I wonder if you could tell us more to help gauge our responses. We do wish to help. 
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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Mamaroo
It can take several months, in my d's case 2 months, I think. At first I tried to explain to her that the weight first goes on the tummy and face first to protect vital organs, but all she could hear was "yes, you are fat", so I stopped saying that. I just said "no, you are not fat". Julie O'Toole discusse this in her book "Give food a chance" as well as on her websites: Here are some quotes:

https://www.kartiniclinic.com/blog/post/what-happens-when-the-weight-comes-back/
"We confront this issue directly in the outpatient clinic; there is no point trying to hide from the elephant in the room: The human body stores initial weight gain around the face and stomach. Some children may appear to be "chubby" to their parents once they reach their weight goal. Of course they are not "chubby," but at this point it is essential to continue the frank discussion (begun in the DTU) about weight redistribution.

We do not know why it happens or understand the mechanism involved, but we have consistently observed that the extra weight gained initially around the face and stomach will redistribute over time. How soon? Boy, would I be popular if I could accurately predict that! It usually takes several months to happen, but when it does, it is fairly sudden and rather dramatic.

In the outpatient clinic I sometimes think a child has lost weight, but when I check their chart, I see that this is not so; the puffiness and extra fat has merely "left the face" with the tummy to follow. Really. The kids are very pleased, the parents are relieved, and the doctors are happy, too."

https://www.kartiniclinic.com/blog/post/what-to-do-when-the-weight-comes-back/
"Partial weight restoration will give us weight gain in the middle of the body (“stomach”/abdomen), just where we don’t want it and where it’s metabolically least advantageous (i.e. increased insulin resistance) but if we persist into the realm of long-term weight restoration, it will normalize. Further, you shouldn’t keep the patient/child at a weight under full restoration out of fear of central weight gain because such restoration “may adversely affect their psychological recovery”. "

So my advice Is just to keep on feeding and when the brain is convinced that she is not living in a famine state any more, the weight distribution would normalise. In general the shorter the 'starvation' period the quicker this redistribution takes place. My d resticted for 8 months before IP and it took 2 more months before she started to consistantly put on weight. I fed her foods high in fat and protein - again signs for the brain that she is living of the proverbial 'fat of the land'. It seems form your post that your d in a binging phase. You can control the binge by giving her meals and snacks 6 times a day at regular intervals, making sure every meal/snack time has plenty of fat and protein, and reduce the amount of 'binge type' food such as sweets and chips. Julie calls these foods hyper palatable foods, here is a quote from her website again:

https://www.kartiniclinic.com/blog/post/why-we-limit-hyper-palatable-foods-for-one-year/

"And, in an effort to keep the growing body from “over-shooting the mark” with re-feeding and unnecessarily promoting binge eating (which appears to be common following semi-starvation and weight loss even in people who have never binged before), we decided to remove “hyper-palatable” foods for about a year encompassing weight restoration."
D became obsessed with exercise at age 9 and started eating 'healthy' at age 9.5. Restricting couple of months later. IP for 2 weeks at age 10. Slowly refed for months on Ensures alone, followed by swap over with food at a snails pace. WR after a year at age 11 in March 2017. View my recipes on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKLW6A6sDO3ZDq8npNm8_ww
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